DallasNews.com disappoints me

What the farce is this? I was check the news at the DallasNews.com and came across this little snippet in the right-hand column.



Is it not bad enough that I have to "press 1 for English" when I call ANY customer service number or see bilingual signs in restaurants and grocery stores but NOW I have to see it on the web for an online American paper in Dallas fucking Texas??

SHAMEFUL!

The Dead Zone

I just watched the second NEW episode of The Dead Zone. New episodes one and two of the season I had TiVoed and was just now able to watch them.

I can't type too much about it right now because I'm about to head out for dinner but I can't believe they killed off Walt Bannerman! And Sarah Bannerman (Nicole deBoer) just doesn't look as hot with longer hair and (I'm embarrassed to say) a little extra weight. She's still attractive but I think the longer hair just messes the fantasy look I've created of her.

See for yourselves...

VS

Email humor 06/28/2007

A Professor was giving a lecture on "Involuntary Muscular Contractions" to his first year medical students. Realizing that this was not the most riveting subject, the Professor decided to lighten the mood slightly.

He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said, "Do you know what your asshole is doing while you're having an orgasm?"

She replied, "Probably deer hunting with his buddies."

The professor laughed so hard he could not continue with the class.

Mike Modano is getting married

This is who he is marrying. She's not very smart sounding but with a body like that I understand everything she says...."Boobs"..."Boobs"..."Boobs"..."Boobs"..."Boobs." I know that's what she is saying, trust me.

Eismann Center's water fountain

They are making some fancy water fountains these days...especially outside of "special" buildings. This is one they have outside of the Eismann Center.

It's funny that I see a lot of families (typically Mexican) taking their kids to this place during the summer and letting their kids play in the water. Not a big deal except for the ridiculous part where they have the kids bring towels and the parents bring chairs like they are at some public pool.

I'm sure that's exactly what the Eismann Center was thinking it'd be used for when they built the fountain.
 

More Jessica Biel

Jessica Biel! Need I say more?

Email humor 06/19/2007

Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age .........and thinking, "surely i can't look that old?" well... You'll love this story!

I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his dds diploma, which bore his full name.

Suddenly, i remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 40-odd years ago. Could he be the same guy that i had a secret crush on, way back then??

Upon seeing him, however, i quickly discarded any such thought. This balding gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate. .....hmmm ....or could he???

After he examined my teeth, i asked him if he had attended morgan parkhigh school . "yes, yes, i did. I'm a mustang," he gleamed with pride.

"when did you graduate?" i asked.

He answered, "in 1959. Why do you ask?"

"you were in my class!" i exclaimed!.

He looked at me closely then, that ugly, old, wrinkled, balding son-of-a-bitch asked, ............." what did you teach ? "

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For what reason do you think the police officer is pulling these people over?

How long did it take you to realize she's not wearing a helmet?

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My parents' house and the house I gave away

This is a satellite picture of my parents' house (they are deceased) and my old house that I had when I lived next door to them. The good ole days when Momma used to cook and invite us over to fatten my ass up. I blame her for my pudginess.

If you can find out where this is, you are more than welcome to pillage, ransack and burn down either or both houses. Only my shit hole brothers live there (well, no one in the house I used to own but I gave it to one of the shit hole bros so let it burn). The place and the city would be better off if the house just "goes away" and the bros are forced to relocate.

That would be awesome!


By the way, those people that are afraid of losing security with Google maps have a valid concern but know that the maps are years behind. First, I made notice of the black Ford F150 that used to sit in front of my parents house when my parents were alive (about 5-7 yrs ago). Second, I made a look at the local Kroger which is a few blocks east (right) of my parents' house and the map showed a grassy corner where now stands a Kroger gas station that's been there for at least five years.

Just useless FYI!

Some people JUST don't get it

I read another story about illegal immigrants. Here's a quick excerpt from the article. Click the quote to view the entire article.

Mr. Lopez crossed the Mexican border illegally to work in a foundry in Tyler in 1969. Later, he brought his wife and four children (all are now citizens or permanent residents) and enrolled the oldest ones in school.

But in July 1977, district trustees voted to charge $1,000 tuition to illegal immigrant children. The Lopez family could not afford it.

"I am illiterate – I am a person that doesn't know anything," Mr. Lopez said in Spanish in an interview this month. But he believed what the district did was wrong.

"School is very important for all children, and they should not be discriminated against because they are Mexican or white or black," he said. "They should be equal."

Okay, let's look at some points:

1. Mr. Lopez entered the country illegally and later brought his family over.
   
   I'm sure his family entered the country illegally as well and for this crime (petty as it may be) they expect to get a free "American" education at the cost of those of us that are LEGAL immigrants or US Citizens who have no choice but to pay for these ILLEGALS because our income is automatically taxed and somehow ends up unfairly benefiting these illegals since they aren't taxed.
    
2. The district didn't turn them away but instead offered a compromise of $1,000 tuition to educate his ILLEGAL immigrant children.
   
   Um...you ungrateful little illegal shitsicks! Refer to gripe #1! The legal workers' tax dollars goes towards benefiting the school districts. Are you contributing to this fund with your under the table cash jobs? I don't think so. At least the district didn't just kick your asses out of Tyler and be done with it. I WOULD HAVE!!
    
3. Mr. Lopez is self-admittedly ILLITERATE.
   
   WTF! Mister Ignorant Illegal has been here since 1969 and he conducted his interview in Spanish. Almost forty years in the good old U.S. of A. and can't speak English or feels more fluent with his native language? What the hell? Can he not at least pretend to learn the English language to show thanks for the country that gave his children a literate education? It's kind of like when the Mexicans did the march and they ran around like stupid shits waving the Mexican flag. Um, shitsticks, you are supposed to be supporting the country you want to be a part of not the one that you left because it ROYALLY sucked there!
   

I hope this shit passes in Farmers Branch for the fines of renting and employing illegal immigrants. Fucking MALDEF doesn't even know what they are doing. MALDEF stands for Mexican American Legal Defense and Education Fund. These dumb asses don't get that ILLEGAL immigrants are not Mexican Americans. They are just fucking Mexicans in the US illegally.

So what rights do they have? None, maybe human rights but let the fucking Red Cross or some human rights groups fund their education and medical costs. See how they like funding that shit and maybe they'll come around and see the point!

Shit, I'm done. Makes me want to slap people around to knock some sense into them! Getting pissed just thinking about this crap!

Jelena Jankovic

Um...this excites me!

Influential advertising

The power of visual stimulation is amazing. I get newsletters from Buy.com regarding specials at their online store. Every time I click a link to see a product this image is in the top-right-hand corner of the page...


It makes me want to click on the link every time even though they probably don't sell men's swimwear since it's called "DIVA VILLAGE".

I'm such a sucker for pictures of hot, sexy women. I would be a poor perv buying shit because the girls in the ads are hot...if I wasn't already poor.