Tuesday, May 24, 2011

House of 9 (2005)

House of 9 (2005). This movie is a lot like the movie Exam (previously written about here). I think I read a description about how it was like Saw but it really isn't. There are no death traps that are accidentally triggered or have time limits. I'd say it is 95% more like Exam.

I don't recall how I came across this movie and put it on my Netflix watch instantly queue. I think it may have had something to do with Kelly Brook being in it. I'm sure I followed some filmography or suggested viewings from somewhere. Dennis Hopper was in it too but let's get back to Kelly Brook. She actually wasn't as annoying in this movie as she is in some others I've seen with her in them. She didn't have that consistent annoying, whining voice she normally has. I guess it's because she's usually playing a victimized woman or something, I don't know. I think she looked younger in this one too and not as heavy as in others. Don't get me wrong. She's by no means fat or heavy but she was much thinner in this one than I've seen in others...but still not fat. Know what I mean?

Anyway, the movie plays out like any other of the same genre before it. "There can be only one" (that's from The Highlander movies) survivor and in the end she just happens to be it based on pure luck and predictable scripting. Just about every stereotypical thing was written in this movie...
  • Cop is one of the captives and he assumes "leadership" without any actual voting/electing and everyone is okay with it (I wouldn't have been)
  • Black man is a rapper, gets blamed for everything (although he did accidentally kill someone), cop rules him a threat and locks him in a room without any discussion and no one disagrees with the "due process"
  • Priest (Dennis Hopper) is faced with protecting himself and others or taking a life. Chooses the latter. Has regrets but meets his maker later at the hands of another house mate
  • Hot, pretty girl (Brook) ends up winning
  • Winner is given the prize but instead of actual release looks to have been let out of one house into another house of previous winners. There is not continuation but one is led to believe that the "winners" can now become bigger winners by killing previous winners and taking their money
In the end, the movie was laughable, annoying, predictable and could have been much better with the addition of some boobies being shown. I mean come on, there were like 3-4 attractive females and not a one of them even so much had a nipple slip! FAIL!

This movie is passable. It's not even worth snagging from a friend. If you have Netflix already, then it might be one of those "just had to check it out" viewings but otherwise pass on it.

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