Wednesday, September 05, 2012

Safety Not Guaranteed (2012), Bounty Hunters (2011), Bad Ass (2012)

Safety Not Guaranteed (2012). I saw this movie before it came out. I'm just getting a chance to finish the post I started. A neighbor/buddy of is part of some film group. I forget the exact name of it but he and his wife paid something like $40 each to get "free" tickets to the premieres of certain movies. His wife had plans and so he had an extra ticket. The premiere had a pretty good turn out. I guess there are a lot of people affiliated with this film group.

The movie isn't full of high action or anything like that but it was pretty good. It's kind of an artsy flick but in a good way. It definitely didn't end up the way I thought it would. It's been out a while at theaters now so I don't feel as special as I did the day I saw it. Oh well.

Final verdict: I liked this movie. It was quirky and lacked my normal requirement of T&A, action, and some violence but it was still a good movie. Maybe like Terms of Endearment. I think it's worth a watch.


Bounty Hunters [aka Bail Enforcers] (2011). T-E-R-R-I-B-L-E-! I hope this makes it crystal clear what I thought about this movie. I thought it was going to be at least a decent action/adventure movie but I was wrong...very, very wrong. I saw this on Netflix as a "newly added" movie under the action genre (at the time I watched it, anyway). I started watching it and I knew right off that it was a sad excuse for a movie. I don't know where producers get the support or why they back such crap, but it seems to be a regular thing these days. And all the crappy movies tend to end up on Netflix!

Apparently this "starred" WWE Diva, Trish Stratus. She's kind of hot. She's definitely big breasted. SHE DID NOT GET NUDE OR TOPLESS AT ALL. She did get dressed up in this skimpy little private school girl outfit for her job as a waitress at a nudie bar but it was of no consequence and gave no excitement to the viewer. I've said it before and I'll say it many times again, when the acting sucks monkey nuts the only thing that could possibly make the movie tolerable is plenty of T & A!

The action aka fight scenes were so totally and obviously choreographed to include whatever moves she may have learned or copied during her time with the WWE that I almost thought I was (re)watching the movie Haywire. There was some comedic value with a male actor that was Trisha's character's fellow bounty hunter. He was this huge muscular guy that keeps getting his ass kicked by everyone including this 90-lb-Kung-Fu-Asian girl. But again, the fight scenes were so choreographed that they would have been better off filming them in slow-mo and then speeding it up to real time to make it look more believable.

Final verdict: The best thing about this movie is the movie poster/cover. Although I didn't like the movie Haywire at all, compared to this one, it's better but I still wouldn't recommend either.


Bad Ass (2012). Danny Trejo has come a long way. From playing a bad guy who's usually scarred, angry, mean, and brutal to playing light-hearted roles (like in Spy Kids) and even a "hero"-type (in Machete or Bad Ass).

Danny's starting to look his age. Wait, he looked his 'now' age years ago. He's still pretty built in a fatter old guy kind of way. I wouldn't want to meet his ass in the street whether he was playing a good or bad guy.

The movie starts out simple enough. It gives a good explanation of Danny's character's past, where he is now and why. The storyline is loosely based on a video on YouTube that went viral regarding a fight on a bus. Apparently, the movie is more inspirational/good-samaritan based than the actual video. There are parts that are comedic and unbelievable but it's all in good fun. There are a couple of farfetched scenes like the young, hot neighbor falling for the old, scary bastard that is "Bad Ass." The action is not non-stop but it also doesn't have boring lulls in the dialogue/storyline. I don't know what the cost of this movie was but I bet it could have been one of those $30,000 budget movies that make $2-$5 million. That's a good turnaround. I don't know if that's true but it could've happened. Anyway...

Final verdict: If you have some down time and you want to watch an entertaining movie, this could be a decent choice. I wouldn't pay $10 at a movie theater to see this but I would pay $.99-$3.99 to watch it on DVD.


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