Wednesday, May 22, 2013

More "reviews" on movies I've seen recently

Many of the movies I've listed below are ones that I watched within the past few months. Most have been watched at least a month ago or more. I've been busy doing other things and some of these movies don't deserve any of the characters I'm going to type to discuss them.

Update: I've decided that there has been too much time between now and when I watched these movies so I'm just going to type more for the ones that I actually remember things from.

Ted (2012). What can be said about Ted? It's overly vulgar. It's pre-adolescent humor. It could be considered downright immature by many. That's part of its attraction. If you go in expecting these things, you will enjoy it. If you go in expecting anything more or different, you will find this movie ridiculous and probably will stop watching after the first 15-30 minutes.

It's like Grown Ups but with way more sexual content and vulgarity. Or American Pie with just Jim and Stiffler but the Stiffmeister is a stuffed bear. Actually, I think I found American Pie more entertaining overall.

Besides the fact that Ted is a fucking stuffed animal that talks and "is alive," there are parts of the movie that are just ridiculous. Namely, the sex scenes with Ted. What the fuck is Ted fucking with? Are the girls he's "banging" that easy and sexual that they just like having their vajayjay rubbed by a plush toy?

Yes, yes, I'm reading too much into the movie but seriously. It's that inane! I think Seth MacFarlane has so much sexual frustration and tension pent up from having to do public television shows that he revels in the opportunity to let his inner 12-yr-old perverted self out in a 'real' movie.

Were there parts that were funny? Yes. Were there parts that other 12-yr-old boys (physically and mentally) will quote from now until the end of days? Yes. Were there good parts throughout the movie to keep one interested for the entirety of the movie? No, but we keep watching to see what fucked up thing Ted will come up with next!

Final verdict: I would recommend it only if you have nothing else to do and need to watch a movie with occasional moments of funny shit mixed with failed attempts at comedy that are still sort of funny. I've seen it and I wouldn't watch it again except for the parts of hot, naked chicks which are probably better than the entire movie.
The Watch (2012). This movie was pretty funny. It had moments where if I were drinking while watching I would have squirted the liquid out my nose. I watched this with my kids. Other than the occasional bad language which isn't really anything that they haven't heard already, it was pretty teen-friendly.

Ben Stiller's character is typical Ben Stiller. It fits right into his comfort zone of what we are used to seeing him portray.

Jonah Hill's character is pretty funny too. It's a little more out of his typical character but he does it fairly well.

While both Ben and Jonah's character are similar to other roles they have played, they aren't annoying actors or their roles are annoying.

However, Vince Vaughn almost always plays the same...exact...character in ALL of his movies. I guess if that's what made you famouse you should go with it. The problem is that he is just playing fucking annoying! I don't know where writers/directors think that hearing Vince Vaughn ramble on and on in that annoying as tone of voice he has is entertaining. It may have been...when we saw him in the very first movie where he was that annoying person. Even the second movie may have been funny but after that it's just TOO GOD DAMN MUCH! Put a giant fork in Vince Vaughn...HE IS DONE!

Final verdict: This movie is pretty funny. My kids wanted to watch it again with the friends and I think they even watched it a couple of more times. I on the other hand would not mind watching it once in a while. It was worth the time the first watch and it would probably be worth it the next time or two.
Casa de mi Padre (2012). This movie was pretty funny. Like The Watch, I could watch it once or twice more. Will Ferrell is his typical funny self. Fortunately, it wasn't one of his 'bad, funny' movies. The only thing that made this movie difficult to watch was all the Spanish dialogue and subtitles. Of course, it wouldn't be the movie it is without the Spanish dialogue. It's almost like watching an old Jackie Chan, Jet Li or Donnie Yen flick where they speak in Chinese/Cantonese and all the subtitles while all this fighting is going on. It sometimes makes it difficult to watch the movie AND understand what in the hell is going on.

Final verdict: It looks like a movie you'd waste your time on but it is pretty funny and entertaining. It's not a movie that you can multitask because of the foreign dialogue and subtitles so make sure you have to time to read, watch and listen. It's also not one of Ferrell's best/funniest, but it's still worth watching.
Extreme Justice (1993). I thought this might be at least a decent movie since it had Lou Diamond Phillips and Scott Glenn in it. It wasn't hugely disappointing. However, watching it now does show its date. It was an action flick with some comedy. If you want to reminisce of older movies from the early 90s then you won't be greatly disappointed by this one. Otherwise, you could find some newer movie that has a very similar story line with updated videography.
Dead Man's Shoes (2004). This was an interesting flick. I didn't like a lot of the cinematography but it was a fairly decent movie. On the Blockbuster rating scale, I'd say "this movie was just so-so" but I remember it, I watched it in its entirety and I didn't end up hating it. In parts in was kind of frustrating because of the story line but not because it was bad or anything. It's one of those movies where one guy is always trying keep his brother or very good friend out of trouble or from doing the wrong thing ALL the time. It makes me think to just put a damn bullet in that person's head so the 'good' guy doesn't always have to get his ass kicked or hurt because he's helping someone else out. Anyway, it wasn't high action or anything like that but it might be worth a look for something different.
Hunger (2009). This movie along with many of the ones to follow is one I was browsing the Netflix movie library and thought I'd give it a try. Just like the ones to follow and ones I've 'reviewed' before, I wasted my time for you so you don't have to. It was basically a different take on the Saw movies. Almost all of the Saw movies sucked and if you've seen one you've seen them all, so you can forego watching this piece of crap movie. It's so great that I've forgotten most of the scenes in the movie. How's that for making an impression? No matter how low the budget for this movie was, it was WAY too much!
Dead Season (2012). There is a plethora of zombie movies to choose from. Don't choose this one. I can overlook poor makeup and juvenile cinematography but I cannot look pass a horrible story line and excruciatingly bad acting. Even good...well, decent...acting can make a crappy movie watchable, bearable. There was absolutely nothing in this movie that could make me recommend it to anyone, even those who are deaf and/or blind. It would inflict horrible feelings upon ALL people!
The Perfect Witness [a.k.a. The Ungodly] (2007). This movie lacked just like the movie above. There was absolutely nothing that I can recommend about this movie. And, that's about all I think I can remember about this movie...that it sucked!
Sweet Angel Mine (1996). It's been too long since I watched this movie. However, I cannot remember anything about it which lets me know that it wasn't a good movie. I could maybe take a quick gander at it on Netflix to maybe recall what I watched originally but I'm thinking it isn't worth the time. Which means it isn't worth your time.
Bellflower (2011). Nothing comes to mind other than it wasn't good enough to remember.
The Teacher (1974). Nothing comes to mind other than it wasn't good enough to remember...and there were boobs.
Zombie Apocalypse: Redemption (2011). Nothing comes to mind other than it wasn't good enough to remember.
Grievous Bodily Harm (1988). Nothing comes to mind other than it wasn't good enough to remember...there were boobs.
Rites of Spring (2011). Nothing comes to mind other than it wasn't good enough to remember...there were boobs.
No Vacancy (1999). Nothing comes to mind other than it wasn't good enough to remember.

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