Friday, September 26, 2014

The Amazing Spiderman 2, Transcendence, Rage, Noah, Bad Words, Sabotage, Divergent, Bad Johnson

The Amazing Spiderman 2 (2014). I saw this back in May at the Galaxy Drive-in. I didn't write anything back then because the post was about the drive-in. So, the movie finally came out on DVD and I rented it from Redbox.

So, the movie is pretty good. It's full of action, excitement, laughs, cries (crying) and quite a few how-the-hell-does-that-happen/work moments. Let's start off with the crying. Spiderman cries more than ANYONE else in the movie. If we break the movie into eight equal parts of say fifteen minutes each, you can say that Spiderman cries at least two to three minutes in each of those parts. Andrew Garfield should win (if he didn't already) best on-screen male crier.

I remember them making a big deal about how many villians would be in the movie. What they didn't explain is that just because they have three minutes of screen time doesn't mean they are actually "in the movie." For instance, Rhino isn't actually Rhino or in Rhino uniform until the last few minutes of the movie. Green Goblin is in the movie for about two to three times the length of Rhino.

I also have the usual gripes like: How did Harry learn to use the Goblin's sled/glider with such expertise without "training?" How did Harry know the Goblin suit would keep him from dying and how the heck DID it keep him from dying? How did Harry's family disease attack him so quickly at a young age but his father was old and wrinkly before it happened? Why can't Gwen stay out of the way like Peter told her to...I mean he's getting his ass kicked so what the hell does she really think she can do besides die? Why doesn't Peter Parker know about electric current or almost everything scientific since he's supposed to be a nerdy guy anyway...like why did he have to look up YouTube videos on electricity? Where's Spidey's spider sense? I could go on and on but I won't.

It's a good movie to watch if for just the pure entertainment value.


Transcendence (2014). This movie had an interesting concept but with poor execution. The interpretation or OVER-interpretation led it astray. Johnny Depp's character is dying. His mind is miraculously digitized to where he's basically the same person but he's inside a computer. He's able repair people's organs dying from cancer or whatever. He's also able to 'grow' appendages that people have lost. He does this by "infecting" them which allows him to also control them if need be...which he does. I guess there are all these nanobots/bytes/things which he can control. I guess wirelessly since they aren't connected to him directly.

Where it gets really dicey and dumb is when he's able to destroy matter such as land and people. It doesn't matter how much control he has of the digital world. Sand, dirt, brick, and whatever else is not digital so it cannot be destroyed.

Anyway, I watched the movie some time ago and I don't recall all the specifics. I would not recommend this movie as you could probably just watch Tron or Virtuosity to get the same gist of this move.


Rage (2014). Reading the synopsis of this movie made me think this could be a story about the way I feel sometimes: to be a part of the world, I have to keep my rage in check.

It wasn't one of Cage's best movies but I didn't think it was one of his worst. It's kind of low key. He's still kind of the hidden bad ass and still has that funky hairdo (but what else can he do with a receding hairline and thinning hair?).

It didn't end like I thought it would because most of these types of story lines don't end the way this one did. Hopefully that makes sense.

If someone you know already has the movie rented/bought, it would be okay to watch it. It may even be worth a $1-something from Redbox.


Noah (2014). So, if you think about this movie being about the biblical story of Noah, then you'd be wrong but also partly right. There is a character named Noah and he builds an ark. Animals board. A flood comes. The waters recede and land is found. The End. There is some other extraneous bullshit that happens in between and during those scenes but they're pretty much needless. Probably to make the movie more interesting but it didn't do it for me. It just pissed me off.

One reason for my pissedness: Noah and his family are supposed to be pretty God-fearing. His youngest son is a disobedient little horny fucker and should have been left to be washed away in the flood. All he's thinking about is how he needs a woman/mate—I mean what man wouldn't need a vagina of his own if stuck on a boat for 40 days and 40 nights?! Noah goes to look for one for his son but they are all already whores or damaged goods because of their stupid family. Son ventures out on his own when he's told not to. Son causes all kinds of trouble before the death flood comes.

Another reason is the "king" of the scabby people is able to hang on to the outside of the ark when the huge ass waves of flash flooding came. I mean these waves tore down deep-rooted trees with ease but this wounded old man was able to hang on to the ark with no problem. In fact, he was able to chop through the side of the ark in record time to create a hole big enough for him to fit through and enter the ark unbeknownst to Noah and his family. Also, this hole was big enough to fit this guy through but not a bit of water got into the ark during the flood or while the ark floated adrift. This hole was not a the top of the ark either. It had to have been at least halfway or lower.

Once again, we return to the unruly son. He finds the king of the scabbies and does not report his findings to Noah. In fact, he feeds and nourishes this man. The man also kills some of the animals to nourish himself...which If I'm not mistaken, messes up the whole two of every animal story. If he ate at least one, then there is no longer an even number of two!

Anyway, the movie really has no sustenance. It has nothing to capture the viewers attention other than maybe wanting to see that little fucking son of Noah's get shit on by every freaking animal on the ark! I only watched the movie to say that I completed it, which I've done with many movies before this one. A friend of mine tried to watch this movie 4-5 different times and never could finish it.

So to summarize, pass on this movie. It's slow, boring, meaningless, unbelievable and...and...just any other negative word you want to use. Save your time and money and watch something else.

But positives of the movie, Jennifer Connelly still looked hot no matter what drab clothing she's wearing. Oh yeah, and Emma Watson didn't look too shabby either.


Bad Words (2013). This movie was pretty hilarious in a very simplistic way. The plot twist was actually pretty good too. You think it's about one thing and then you realize that it's about another. The interactions between Jason Bateman's character and Rohan Chand's (the India boy) are pretty funny. I laughed a lot. The dialogue was also funny between Bateman and Kathryn Hahn's character.

I went in to this movie thinking it might suck. For me, it turned out to be worth my $1+ at Redbox.


Sabotage (2014). I know. I know. I was thinking the same thing, "Another Schwarzenegger is a bad ass movie?" But you know, it really wasn't that terrible.

The plot was very similar to many of his (or other's movies). Bad ass military unit does things that others can't or won't and Arnold is the leader. They do a job. Something goes wrong. The close-knit group has doubts about each other and each member points the finger at who may be to blame. Near the end you could sort of figure out the plot/ending.

It has the same problems as other shooting movies like unlimited ammo or near-perfect marksman all of sudden become shitty shooters but it was still a decent action-thriller.

The movie had some fairly known actors like Sam Worthington, Joe Manganiello, Josh Holloway, Terrence Howard, Max Martini, and Mireille Enos but their acting occasionally seemed amateurish.

Overall, for a buck and change, it's tolerable enough to watch.


Divergent (2014). I knew nothing about this movie other than what I briefly read when I Google it some months ago. I thought about getting the books on my Kindle but knew I'd probably never get around to reading one much less all of them. Maybe someday. Okay, probably not.

Anyway, this movie seems very Hunger Games mixed with Harry Potter. There are different factions and a test decides which "house" each kid/teenager can join. Each house/faction has a specific role and kids are trained in those roles. If they suck at it, they can't go back home...they can't go to another faction...so they are pretty much dirt fodder and must fend for themselves basically in exile.

Occasionally there are those people who are different and they're called Divergent...and that's Shailene Woodley which I recall seeing her in The Spectacular Now. Anyway, Shailene's character is this movie's Harry or Katniss.

I guess the movie was interesting enough. I guess it has a pretty good following since there seems to be a second book/movie and then a part 1 & 2 of a third book? Seems just like Hunger Games and Twilight, huh?

I wasn't disappointed in watching this movie but I also wasn't wowed by it. Maybe the books are better and so you can pass on the movie. Let me know as I'll probably just watch the movies.


Bad Johnson (2014). Can a movie find success or even just survive on a pretty face and good physique? This is a good example of "hell to the no!" This movie 'stars' Cam Gigandet who I remember from playing James in Twilight and just barely remember he was in Burlesque. Which again shows you that this movie really didn't have a chance if little-known Cam was the headliner.

I never even heard of this movie and I saw it on the movie list at Redbox.com. I clicked on it to watch the trailer and it sort of captured my interest. I waited a few days as other movies seemed more interesting at the time. I got an email/text from Redbox with a free rental code. I had already seen the movies I actually wanted to see so I thought, "What the hey, I'll get Bad Johnson."

The movie started out alright enough. It had it's moments of funny to very funny but it began to taper off fairly quickly and I almost felt like I couldn't watch anymore around the midpoint. I endured and it ended just as I expected/predicted. Which isn't a huge deal with comedies but when the comedic value dwindles, it tends to be tedious and boring and I can no longer overlook the predictable.

If you want to see Cam's naked abs and occasional bare ass, you can do it cheaper and quicker by searching on the Internet. If you still want to see this movie, I'd recommend you watch the trailer, read the synopsis and you would have basically watched the movie.


No comments: