Hershey's Kisses

Did you know that Hershey's Kisses now have sayings on the little white strip of paper? Before it just said, "Hershey's Kiss," but now it says stuff like, "Good Looking," "Cheer Up," and "Let's Go Out."

Reminds me of the taco sauce packets at Taco Bell.

Weird!

Tony Danza defined

I was reading somewhere, on some entertainment blog I guess, that said Tony Danza was famous for more than acting and the such. He's actually defined at urbandictionary.com. I personally think definition #3 is more on par with what I would say/do.

"Last night I Tony Danzaed my woman!"

LOL!

Go Stars!

That's pretty much all I can say on that topic. Having a commanding 3-0 lead in the playoff series is quite a benefit but by no means insurmountable. It does put more pressure on the team with the "0" part of the series count which makes them more dangerous to an extent.

There were some close shots on both ends of the ice that could have easily made it a Sharks win (or Stars win) in regulation.

One gripe...Hagman should have pulled it to his backhand and then back to his forehand for the penalty shot. Why the hell he tried to score on a weaker shot (the backhand lift) is beyond me! I think he realized his mistake once he was looking back at the net to see Nabokov flicking him the finger and saying, "Who's your daddy, bitch!?"

If they'd listen to me yelling at the TV and they'd win it way easier than they are making it!

Game 4 tonight. Why the hell one home game for the Stars is played at 6:30 p.m. and the next (back-to-back, in fact) is 8:00 p.m. Must be giving those hockey fanatics like myself who want to watch all the games time to catch those others on Versus.

Oh well, I'm a statue at 8:00 p.m. tonight!

GO STARS!

Since the Mav's sucked Hornet nads and are what we in Dallas typically call...

LOSERS!

Grand Theft Auto IV

I quote from an article at GuideLive.com that I thought was funny to start as it did. Click here for the entire article until it expires.

Eight hours into Grand Theft Auto IV (Rockstar Games, for the Xbox 360, PlayStation 3, $59.99), I've stolen 17 cars, run over 20 people and killed another 15 (some of whom had it coming). I've shaken down a couple of store owners and beaten up an old lady. I've driven while drunk and, perhaps worse, while talking on a cell phone.

The only critique I have for this game is that the bastards didn't make a PS2 version for the cheap bitches like myself who have not yet upgraded to the PS3 or really want to spend the money to do so!

Bastards! Bastards! Bastards...but the game sounds awesome! I still play San Andreas, Liberty City Stories and even Vice City now and again because they were(are) such kick ass games.

Oh well...I wait and see if the wifey will let me purchase a PS3 otherwise I will live vicariously through others or play on their machines when I get the chance...if I ever do.

Beauty and the Geek

So, there is this "extreme sports" girl on the show Beauty and the Geek. She's actually pretty hot and I think I could find it in my heart to allow her some personal time with me after I'm done with Natalie Portman or Jessica Biel.

Anyway, her name is Leticia something...I can't remember her last name at the time of my typing this. Here is a picture to enjoy...click the links below it to see some "better" pictures.


Pic 1 Pic 2 Pic 3

Email humor 04/28/2008

Bullshit Protector

Your Dallas Stars!!!!!

Stars - 3, Sharks - 0

The Dallas Stars are kicking butt. Just like they did in round one against the Anaheim Ducks. Hopefully, they won't need to win in five but instead can do it in four.

After last night's game (other than the first goal), Dallas may just be able to go all the way. They started off a little slow and sloppy but played way better in the subsequent minutes and periods. If they would just play with the tenacity, heart and desire like that all the time they wouldn't make a loyal (occasionally bitter) fan worry so much while watching these games. Oh well, I guess that's hockey!

GO STARS!

Email humor 04/23/2008

Rock, Paper, Scissors...

Dallas Stars are in to round two!

Well, I'll be...a regular "miracle on ice" happened the other night.

I wasn't so positive that they would pull off a win the way they weren't scoring on the MANY, MANY scoring opportunities the Ducks were giving up. The Ducks were almost putting the puck on a silver platter for the Stars to shove it down their throats for goals. Not to mention that Anaheim scored first on a very flaky goal that Turco should never have let in — although those are the types of goals he's ALWAYS let in.

So, off to round two against either the Calgary Flames or the San Jose Sharks. We'll find out which after their game seven tonight.

GO STARS!

Email humor 04/22/2008

ELECTION

"We in Holland cannot figure out why you are even bothering to hold an election.

On one side, you have a bitch who is a lawyer, married to a lawyer, and a lawyer who is married to a bitch who is a lawyer.

On the other side, you have a true war hero married to a woman with a huge chest who owns a beer distributorship.

Is there a contest here?"

In the news 04/22/2008

Saw this news story on the DallasNews.com. I'm sure the link will expire but the gist of what I saw in the article that really bothered me is the last sentence...

His salary was $20,670, school officials said.

Since they didn't give any details on why this guy quit his job, my assumption would be because of the shitty pay! I mean come on, $20k for being responsible for a school's entire computer network and equipment??!?? That's like those "photographers" on Craigslist asking models to pose for TFCD (trade for CD) which basically means do it for FREE!

Oh well! I move on...

Dallas Stars vs Anaheim Ducks - Game 6

If you are watching the game and you saw Corey Perry score on Marty Turco from midrange and between the legs, you know why Turco is not considered a playoff goalie. Personally, I didn't think he was much of a goalie to begin with. In the past, he's been very lucky and he's had phenomenal people working in front of him. This year, not so phenomenal although there are a lot of good, veteran defensemen on the Stars that are "out of the office" at this time.

That shot was fully stoppable by a good goalie! It should have never EASILY gone in, between his legs, like it did.

In the military, they would put boots or soap in pillow slips and hold Turco down on his bunk and beat the shit out of him for such stupid mistakes!

But...I guess there is still some glimmer of hope since it's got five minutes left in the second period and an entire third period to go. As long as the Stars, stop the slow bleeding now!

Red Dawn (1984)

So, I was flicking channels waiting for the Stars/Anaheim game and came across the movie Red Dawn. What's weird it was showing on FUSE, which I thought was a music video channel like MTV or VH1 used to be. I guess everyone is going to some stupid "reality tv" line up. Stupid in my opinion, although I do watch the Real World or Real World/Road Rules Gauntlet or Inferno shows.

Oh wait, losing my train of thought...

I've seen Red Dawn at least a hundred times over the last twenty-four years. I've watched it completely through almost three-quarters of the time if not more.

What I don't get is what ever happened to Jed and Matt (Patrick Swayze and Charlie Sheen). They showed them near the end of the movie when they took care of that really bad Russian guy. Each of them had been shot but they were both still breathing when Jed was shown carrying Matt and sat down on some bench. You could still see their breathing in the cold. The movie eventually shows Erica (Lea Thompson) at the very end on the rock where they put everyone's name that fought and died in their "pack." Her narrative says something like "Never saw the brothers again..." but it never tells or shows what actually happened to them.

I don't like feeling like I'm hanging and not knowing what happened. It totally blows!

Oh well, time to get back to the Stars game.

Email humor 04/19/2008

After a short stay in America, Michelangelo's David returned to Europe...

Dallas Stars vs Anaheim Ducks - Game 5

VS

Gosh darn Stars sucked balls again. They came out like a bunch of midget league hockey players and got squashed like little bugs!

Yes! I expect perfection...or pretty damn near it! Especially when I have to stay up until midnight to finish watching the game.

What the hell ever!

So, my "boss" boss comes back into town and says, "Oh, I like your haircut...Thank you for doing that."

I was like, "Huh? WTF, do you really think I did this for YOU!?"

What a shit stick! I cut my hair because I was tired of messing with it and the damn "flaring" out in the back of my head that made me look like some fat, Mexican, soccer player! LOL!

Anyway, I just had to vent on what that crazy bitch was thinking!

Stupid people work with I do.

Dallas Stars vs Anaheim Ducks - Game 4

VS
It's game four time people. Let's hear it for YOUR DALLAS STARS!!!!!

Check the game out at 7:30 p.m. I think it's on My27 locally.

Damn them if they disappoint me...and the rest of the metroplex.

They better listen to my yelling at the television and we are a shoo-in.

Baby got back!

I always new Serena Williams was not a petite girl but this is what Sir Mix-a-lot was talking about, I'm sure...

Pope Benedictus Scare-Us

I saw that the Pope is coming to visit the White House. I guess by now he is actually here. Anyway, in this article that I read a few days ago they mentioned that someone was selling these Pope figurines. They are a little scary to me.

Almost like Emperor Palpatine..."Come my children and welcome the firts galactic empire!



Anyway, that's all my thoughts on the subject.

In the news 04/17/2008

From the DallasNews.com. A quick excerpt from the article as I'm sure the link will expire to the archives at some point in time. Until the link expires, you can click here.

UTA police ID suspect after attacks on campus

Early in the morning on April 10, a man with a French accent approached a person in a parking lot in the 600 block of South Pecan Street and asked for change. He then lunged at the person with a knife, police said. The victim fought back and the man dropped the knife and ran away.

All I have to say is that if you are going to do some stupid shit like try to attack/rob/harass someone, you had better not be such a pussy...especially when YOU are the one holding the weapon [knife].

Oh yeah, the guy appears to be French. That explains the cowardice.

Email humor 04/17/2008

Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven.

At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St Peter.

He says, "Sisters, you all led such exemplary lives that the Lord is granting you six months to go back to earth and be anyone you wish to be.

The first nun says, "I want to be Sophia Loren;" and *poof* she's gone.

The second says, "I want to be Madonna and *poof* she's gone.

The third says, "I want to be Sara Pipalini." St. Peter looks perplexed. "Who?" he asked "Sara Pipalini;" replies the nun.

St. Peter shakes his head and says, "I'm sorry, but that name just doesn't ring a bell." The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St. Peter.

St. Peter reads the paper and starts laughing. He hands it back to her and says.....

"No sister, the paper says it was the 'Sahara Pipeline' that was laid by 1400 men in 6 months."

Ghost child

Ghost child
 

Email humor 04/15/2008

Medical Science

A Japanese doctor said, "Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him looking for work in six weeks."

A German doctor said, "That's nothing, we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks."

A British doctor said, "In my country, medicine is so advanced that we can take half of a heart out of one person, put it in another, and have them both looking for work in two weeks."

A Texas doctor, not to be outdone said, "You guys are way behind. We took a man with no brains out of Texas, put him in the White House, and now half the country is looking for work."

Dallas Stars are going to lose

3:28 left in the third period.

Stars had a four minute power play and got four shots on goal. FOUR SHOTS! If the fuck sticks would listen to me yelling at the television, the score would be 6-4 Stars.

2:20 left and still 4-2.

I think I'm going to bed or I'm switching to Versus to watch the Wild/Avs game.

Damn Stars!

45.1 left.

I guess I could watch the rest to see them lose.

Bastard Stars!

Yes, I'm a bitter fan!

STARS LOSE!

Cockmunchers.

Dallas Stars vs Anaheim Ducks - Game 3

VS
Well, the Stars have once again started off sucking. It's almost like the last few regular season games. A quick 3 fucking goals given up in the first period and it's almost not worth watching anymore because I am so pissed. The Stars are just standing around watching the Ducks hump them from the front and from behind.

Now we are in the third period and two Duck penalties later, the Stars are almost back in the game with two quick goals. 4-2 is the score so far with nine minutes in the third period.

Damn, the Stars are going on another power play.

Come on you bitchass Stars! Kick your asses into gear and make the series Stars 3, Ducks 0!

But alas, I know the Stars will let me down. There is no money in a quick playoff series. Ask any GM or team owner!

Law & Taxation test two

I got my second multiple choice test back in my Law & Taxation class today. I was a little nervous with expectations of what my grade might be. I wasn't too confident on getting a good grade. I would be happy to get a 70 but even that may have been reaching. I just wasn't very prepared for this test. I slacked off and planned to catch up but just ended up slacking off some more. I was already conceding making an overall C in this class.

The prof handed back our tests and what they hell do you know, Jay pulled out an 82. Fucking A! I will take this to the bank and cash it. Sweet ginger brown!

So, next up is the group take home exam two! I think we get it on a Thursday and it's due on a Sunday. Either it is going to be much harder than the first group take home test OR she is a thoughtful prof and giving everyone time to do the exam since many of the students in the class have more than one exam during the same week.

We'll see!

Stars win game two!

VS
Damn! The Stars pulled another kickass win out of their butts. They had me a little worried for a minute there because they Stars were up 2-0 and let that lead slide quickly for a 2-2 tie. But then the Stars put on their victory caps or the Ducks put their dunce helmets on and let the Stars score three unanswered goals. For a 5—2 victory.

Go Stars!

Dallas Stars at Anaheim Ducks - Game 2

VS
Game two...no time for commenting since it starts at 9 p.m. my time again. Let's hope game one wasn't a super-fluke occurrence.

Stars win game one!

VS
So, the Stars surprised the heck out of me...and the Ducks...with an 4—0 win in game one.

Go Stars!

Dallas Stars at Anaheim Ducks - Game 1

VS
Well, round one of the NHL playoffs has commenced and the Dallas Stars are facing the Anaheim Ducks. I'm not going to type much about the game as it's at 9 p.m., my local time, and barring overtime it will already last until around 1130 or 12 o'clock.

I just hope the Stars don't play like they've been playing in the last month and a half of the season, especially in March. They completely sucked!

So, I'll wait and watch and hope it is not another disappointing year and playoff run to the "CUP" for the Stars.