This is not Showtime Championship Boxing

What is Symbian?

Okay, I really don't need to know what it is but every time I see the word it makes me think of another one. I guess it's because of my perverted nature or unusual knowledge of certain aspects of pornography and sex toys. I'm not into either but I think it's innate for boys/men to have a base knowledge of the two by a certain age; no definite age but some earlier bloomers than others.

So, what is the word that always comes to mind for me?

Symbian versus Sybian

You can see why the initial confusion, right?

Email humor 06/09/2010

You will probably have to click on the image to enlarge it for (better) reading. I found this somewhere on the WWW and I'd give credit if I remembered where it was. I downloaded the image like six hours ago and have done many things since there. Anyway, enjoy.

---

Now You Know And Knowing Is Half The Battle!

---

Procrastination pays off!

My theory of "if you procrastinate and avoid studying/working until the last moment, then you can still be successful" has turned out another positive experiment.

I previously posted here about a paper that I should have written over my spring break but didn't. I thought about doing it the weekend before returning to class but didn't. I thought about doing it the Monday or Tuesday before class (which is on Thursday) but didn't. However, I did start it, albeit briefly, at 8:15am Wednesday - the day before it was due. I thought about going to the library after work to further work on it without being distracted because home is full of distractions but didn't. I figured that I would discipline myself to do it at my desk upstairs and avoid all distractions.

I got home about 4:30pm. I decided to postpone continuing on it until 7pm at the latest. I figured I had all the materials I needed for the research. I just needed to put it all down in a meaningful flow on no more than six pages. About 5:45pm, I decided to go ahead and start. Why procrastinate further and keep myself up later than I really want to.

I was disciplined and I finished about 9:45pm. I ended up with almost seven pages exactly but it could have been dwindled to six if I took out a table I had to insert but was needed. I did a quick reread to make sure I covered everything and it sounded logical in form. I made some edits but then I decided that I wasn't going to be too picky on it as it wasn't like a literature paper. I emailed it to myself so I could print two copies of it at work the next morning.

Stupid me started browsing Facebook and then I started surfing porn...what, it helps me relax and decompress...LOL. Before I knew it, the time was like 11:30pm. I finally went to bed, relaxed knowing that I was done with my paper and had no other worries in regards to my school for the next few days. Good times.

Oh yeah, the point of the post, proving my theory.

I got my paper back yesterday. Out of a possible 80 points, I got...wait for it...wait...wait...wait...77 points. Woohoo! Eat that you people that do their work early! Ha! I think the only thing my professor didn't like about my paper was I didn't use headings for the different sections we were required to write about. Personally, I thought it took away from the look and flow of the paper which is why I didn't do it. I did make sure my flow went in order of his requirements in the description of the paper but I guess he wanted to be able to quickly visually see it instead of just feeling the flow.

Next up, another "crit" (photography speak for a critique) on April 7^th for my B&W photography class. A final research paper and group presentation coming up for my management course. The ones for the management course will be done early(ier) versus later. I can't procrastinate too much on those especially when the presentation involves a partner.

Have I mentioned how I hate school!?

The things you find while out shopping

What is this? Is it a volcano? Is it a bunghole? Or...

Click the picture to find out.

Sent on the Super Jay Network from Super Jay's BlackBerry®

Parodies of porn

Don't ask me how I got to a page that would display this but somehow I did. I found it funny how they (the porn movie creators) come up with similar but hilarious names. I mean "Coctomom" is priceless!

Anyway, some day I may find out if these parodies are actually any good...some day...

UPDATE 8:37 p.m. — I just realized that I have actually seen the Twilight spoof. It's funny but not very good to watch. The porn ladies aren't very pleasing to the eye. I don't recall all of it as I watched it at about 8x speed. I just wanted to see it quickly to see if it was worth keeping. It wasn't.

Witchblade (Japanese anime series)

You know, there is a reason why there are so many males into comics and anime. With posters like this, it's hard to deny any interest.

Got this from an email from the Buy.com listserv. I actually saw Witchblade (TV series) and then saw Witchblade (anime).
.
.

---

Live Long and Prosper!

---

Do Not Disturb

If you see this on the door, I would most definitely just keep on walking by...

Boobs box

I saw this on a flier for Best Buy's Sunday ad. A quick glance and you got to admit that it looks like boobs.

Ikki Tousen

If you are like me, you have no idea what that is..."Ikki Tousen". I was on the Blockbuster home page and did a search for something. I can't remember exactly as it was this morning and I just got around to posting about it. Out of five pages of movie listings, I recall this. And yes, what caught my eye was the under-boobage and ass cleavage.

Ikki Tousen apparently is some animated show that has hot, scantily clad occasionally stripped big breasted chicks fighting martial arts style. Google Videos and Wiki

For me and other somewhat perverted people, it might be worth a look-see but I don't know about listening to Japanese audio and English subtitles. I did do a Torrent search to see if it was available and apparently it is but not a whole lot of seeds or leeches.

Is it really worth my time? Hm...

Why do they do this in pornos?

Why do guys wack their dicks on the pussy like they are playing wacka-mole? I don't get it. I don't think it does anything for the ladies and it certainly doesn't do anything for me.

I was just wondering...and no, it's not because I was just watching porn!


Sent on the Super Jay Network from Super Jay's BlackBerry®

College (The Movie)

I watched a movie last night called, "College," starring Drake Bell and some others. And yes, that is Drake from Drake & Josh and anyone who has young children should know who he is or at least heard of him in some form or fashion.

Anyway, the movie was funny in spots, very funny in others, but never worthy of spending money to watch it. I don't even know if this movie was put to theaters or straight to DVD. I do know that Drake Bell is probably no longer a "spokesperson" for Disney. I'm not sure if his show was canceled before or after this movie was made but the movie was dated as of 2007. I'm sure a quick Google could solve the mystery but right now it's not important enough for me to do so.

The movie had its very gross and funny parts like when Drake's character and his two sidekicks are visiting a college and end up unknowingly becoming pledges in a fraternity. Some of the things they showed were just way too funny and gross...even if they weren't real, the thought and image they provoked was quite surreal.

The movie was basically like Revenge of the Nerds and they didn't disappoint on the gratuitous boob flashing or hot, bikini-clad sorority babes!

I probably wouldn't rent this movie if I had to pay too much for it. I think Blockbuster has a 1-day rental fee of $.99 or $1.99. The latter may even be too much but if you have some spare change you found in between the car or couch seats, then maybe you could splurge. Otherwise, find a sucker friend to pay if he/she hasn't already rented it...if they did, then you could use the spare change for Taco Bell.

Marge Simpson is the bomb!

Congrats, Marge! Although I don't think this is going to help reach a younger-aged demographic for Playboy like they hope. When everyone from an 8-yr-old boy to a 90-yr-old man can access naked pictures of women on the Web on a daily/hourly basis, why would someone pay for a yearly subscription to a one-time-a-month-delivery of magazine with the same (or very similar) photos? We are an immediate gratification society at this time.

Besides, Playboy, Penthouse and others are still TOO full of extraneous pages of ads, cologne pages, and useless information. It's gotten better than back in the days of the 70s and 80s and even 90s but when you cut out all the crap men don't care about, you'll have a magazine about 1/10^th the size.

Anyway, I read that Marge just graces the cover but we won't be seeing her "Marge mounds."

Amber Rose

You know, I don't much like Kanye West. He's overrated and over-hyped. He likes to toot his own fucking horn too damn much! But I can say that he did a decent job in picking a girl friend. Even without long hair, she's still pretty hot and stacked! She's got jungle fever so I think she'll probably move on to another "brother" because like they say, "Once you go black, you never go back!"

From The New Yorker desk calendar

A coworker shared this with me last Friday and I just got a chance to take a pic and post it.

It sort of speaks volumes of my position at work. Being the only manly man in the office, I get asked to "help" with a lot of extracurricular duties involving lifting and moving.

It's a pity that some of the people that ask don't offer up the sex part like in the comic. And I could do without the killing part. LOL!

Snuffer's Restaurant

I just got back into the office a little bit ago from going to lunch with my boss and co-boss at Snuffer's on Lower Greenville. Check the info here and here.

I love this place. It's good, down-home-death in a basket. Freakin' awesome! My bosses took me there for my birthday lunch since I wasn't here on Friday, my actual birth date.

I got the Swiss, mushroom burger. Cooked medium. It came out pretty red/pink but I don't care. I actually like it that way but my boss got the same burger and my co-boss got the cheddar burger and the medium was not cooked enough for them. It really wasn't medium compared to other restaurants because the patty is so thick.

Anyway, we also had a large side of cheese fries with chives and bacon bits. No jalapenos for this guy!

It was a good lunch meal. And for me, it was free since they paid. It made it a good day to return to work after two weeks of vacation!

Afterward, we walked across the street to Condom Sense. A friend and coworker of ours got "married" - too much to explain right now. The co-boss wanted to get him a sort of gag wedding gift and she thought she'd find it at Condom Sense. It's the first time I've been in one of these establishments and I don't think the bosses were the people to go there with but it's a good thing we are 'friends' and get along outside of work as well as at work.

Basically, it's a sex shop. It has DVDs, toys, props, lotions and anything else you might find at a true adult store. It doesn't have the huge selection of these items that may be at bigger and actual adult stores but, needless to say, it's an adult sex shop. I've seen some interesting things in my life and I've seen even more today.

We left without a gift but I did leave thinking that I could name at least half of the female porn stars whose images grace the various products. Scary!

Metallica - Death Magnetic

So, I was perusing at JR.com after they emailed me some advertisement and saw this picture.

Now, my gutter mind's first thought was something akin to a porn star's overused vuh-jayjay. Kind of disturbing but funny, nonetheless.

On further and closer inspection, I think it is supposed to be a magnet in the shape of a coffin. Hence, the title "Death Magnetic"?

Anyway, thought it was funny or strange or whatever and warranted posting about.

My funny phrase of the day

I didn't actually say it but my coworker did.

My gutter mind immediately heard and thought of one thing. You see what you hear.

Said coworker stands in the doorway to her office and says out loud and fairly rapidly, "Chism! Chism! Chism! I need to see Chism. Who has Chism?"

I'm walking down the hall and if I were drinking a beverage, I would have spewed it through my nostrils.

So, what came to your mind when you read and said, "Chism" in your head three times consecutively?

Yeah, that's what I thought!

---

Goodbye and Good Riddance!

---

Behind the Green Door

I saw an article on MSN talking about "adult film star" passed due to something like heart failure. Of course with my depth of knowledge on female adult film performers, my curiosity was peaked! After clicking on the article, I found that it was Marilyn Chambers.

The article said something about her making her mark/debut in the adult movie Behind The Green Door. I can't say that I've ever heard of it (guess my depth of knowledge isn't that great after all) because I was only one year old when this movie was made. I do recall seeing Marilyn in a couple of other movies and I remember her because she was a noise-maker, a screamer, a loud moaner. Sometimes it was kind of distracting and annoying but it seems other adult female film stars thought it was a good trend because I've seen screamers like Jenna Jameson, Jessica Jaymes (sp?), and others that I can't recall off the top of my head while at work.

Anyway, my curiosity got the best of me so I had to find the movie they mentioned. Sure enough, I was able to find a torrent for it. Yes, yes, I know I shouldn't have done it but I doubt I would have found it at the local adult vid store. Even if I did, I don't even know if I would pay $5 for it even before I saw it. I watched it last night, quickly, to see what all the fuss was about. I guess maybe she was young then or something but I didn't find it overly appealing or exciting. Maybe it was controversial because it was made in 1972 and she was banged by a black man dressed like an African warrior. I don't know. What was weird compared to porn movies of today is that it was almost completely focused on just her getting sexed instead of multiple women in various scenes. Very odd, indeed, and boring for me. It is also nice to know that the 'lady garden' has transitioned to close-cropped landscaping because it has been a long, long, long time since I've seen a bush like hers on a female porn star or ANY female actress that shows 'gina in a movie.

I also remember seeing some quick glance of a show she did on cable..."Skinamax" I think it was on. Yep, a quick Google and it was called Breakfast in Bed. My first thought was, "that looks like Marilyn Chambers." My second thought was, "That is Marilyn Chambers. What the hell happened to her!?" She was old, for one, and she was chubby. She wasn't really fat but she was like stocky. I can't explain it well, I guess, but it was like she used the braziere/bustiere to push the belly pudge into her bra cups. It didn't really make her boobs any bigger but, now that I think of it, she reminded me of the way Kathleen Turner looks nowadays...a linebacker with small titties! LOL!

Oh well, I guess I typed a little more than I expected. RIP Marilyn Chambers.

UPDATE: Found an entry on wikipedia...click here.

Funny sayings from a movie

Okay, this isn't exactly from your everyday "family" movie or even "R" but it is funny nonetheless.

A buddy of mine, sent me a vid clip from Pirates 2: Stagnetti's Revenge. Yes, it's a porn movie and a sequel at that. I forget where exactly this phrase occurs because I really don't pay too much attention to the time or even the dialog. LOL! I'm a guy. Sue me! I don't even know the character's names other than it is a sex scene between the captain (a 'good' guy) of a ship and his slave girl.

Anyway, here is the quote from the movie:

"Lick your ass off the Captain's cock! Come on!"

It's sure to be a classic...quoted for years and years to come.