Marisa Miller

How come there aren't a ton more movies with Marisa Miller in them? Okay, really I don't even know what movie(s) she's been in, if any. I don't care. There should be more. There should be more of her with less clothing but that's just the male pig in me. Nah, that's actually the male pig in all of us. In fact, I don't think a woman could tell me they don't want to see more of THIS...


You can find some more random pics of Marisa Miller at Celebutaint among other interesting facts, stories, photos of a slew of "famous" people.

Canine Country Club

I was doing a Google search for a local dog groomer — it does other things too but I just need the grooming — called Canine Country Club in Dallas.

I initially got ahead of myself and just typed in "canine country club." The top link was to Canine Country Club but not in Dallas. What I found interesting was they have a flash picture show of people and their pets and about three pictures in, this picture came up:


So, do you think this was accidental or subliminal advertising? Could she have not been in a night/t-shirt? It doesn't really bother me but got me thinking...briefly...and now I'm done.

Email humor 07/19/2008

WHY ITALIANS CAN'T BE PARAMEDICS

Vinny and Sal are out in the woods hunting when suddenly, Sal grabs his chest and falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing; his eyes are rolled back in his head.

Vinny whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator, I think Sal is dead! What should I do?"

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says, "Just take it easy and follow my instructions. First, let's make sure he's dead."

There is a silence...and then a shot is heard.

Vinny's voice comes back on the line, "Okay...now what?"

Random thought of the day

So, I was just joking around with a coworker of mine and it made me think of something.

First, this is how the interaction went down.

He was entering the building from outside pushing an empty dolly. We are about 200 feet apart.

I looked at him and just shook my head. He said aloud, "Slacker!"

I picked up a cardboard box and pretended to throw it at him.

He replied, "That'd be a case for a hate crime." (He's gay.)

I put down the box and said, "What, a bisexual beating up on a homosexual?" (I'm not bisexual! Honest! I'm just friendly to friends and joking along with them is what I do.)

He laughed. I laughed. We went out separate ways.

My wonderment came as my "way" was to the men's room. While I was cleaning my colon, a thought occurred to me: "How would a 'hate crime' case between a bisexual and homosexual actually pan out?"

If all things were equal in the facts and it was an all-heterosexual jury, who would they automatically be biased against or for? Would the heteros prefer the homosexual as at least they know what gender they desire? Or would it be the bisexual because they are not sure and they are test driving both genders?

Randomly stupid I know but I just write what comes to me, whenever it comes to me.

In the news 07/17/2008

Found this in today's Dallas News online

On July 2, a 74-year-old woman reported finding her cat eviscerated near her home on Chesley Lane, near Skillman Street and Lovers Lane.

The animal, found in some grass near an alley, had been cut from under its chin down to its torso in a straight, smooth line as if a knife were used, according to a Dallas police report. Its ribcage had been broken, and its entrails were missing.

On Wednesday, a 24-year-old woman on the same street reported finding her cat dead in a neighbor’s front yard. It had been killed in a similar fashion.

Police are investigating.

Link to full story as long as it lasts, here.

My feelings? Good. Keep your damn cats on a leash or inside your house. Roaming dogs are not acceptable why are roaming cats?!

I am not a cat owner. I was once but not by choice. It was my wife's. I didn't totally dislike it but I prefer dogs as they are typically friendlier pets and they come when you call them.

I do have roaming cats in my yard (neighborhood) that I wish could be exterminated. I have an open lot next to my house and it isn't watered so there are dirt spots. On occasion, the dirt/mud spews onto my driveway after rain. These roving cats use these dirt spots as their own little shit receptacles. My kids and I play in the yard have to smell and sometimes accidentally step in the poop. It pisses me off like you would not believe. I too would gut the damn felines that did it OR even those that didn't if I couldn't find the one that did!

Hence, I have no pity for those people that "lose" their cats to some sicko-want-to-be-vet because they allow them to roam. I say, as long as he's not messing with people, more power to them!

Playstation 3

It's my birthday tomorrow. I'll be one of the oldest, biggest children you've ever met. I don't feel old. I don't think a numerical age defines my physical or mental age.

I can't really gauge my age (hehe, that rhymed) by the physical ailments or pangs that I may have when I get up in the morning from laying asleep for 6-8 hours. I can't say that I feel old when my joints creak and pop when I stand up after sitting for a half an hour or longer. These ailments and pops have always been there.

I feel aches in my back, my arms and tightness in my legs after a four hours of tennis Saturday morning or two to three hours one evening week day. If I played more consistently, these symptoms are usually a non-issue. It's the five to six days in between the tennis playing that causes me to ache afterwards. Of course, I could always ride a bike or jump rope--things I can do conveniently within my house/yard or in the neighborhood--to offset the long duration of serious physical inactivity between tennis episodes. I think about doing so often but thinking and doing are two very different things.

I lack motivation. Actually, that's not entirely true. I think about it. I get excited and anxious about it. Then when the moment of opportunity comes, that's when the motivation wanes. I tell the wife that's why I can get up at 7:30 a.m. on a Saturday morning after going to bed around midnight and drive for 20-30 minutes to play tennis but I lack the energy and drive to do so on a daily basis for work. Tennis day is the one or two days I know I need to get off my ass and do something because 1) my ass would be doubly overweight instead of slightly overweight and 2) I have people that I play against that I know will be there to play and somewhat push me to have to exert myself versus hitting the ball with the wife and/or kids. I enjoy both but for me the playing with my wife and kids doesn't give me the genuine exercise I need or want.

Anyway, it's my birthday tomorrow. My wife will be at work in the evening before I get home from my job. This means there will be no celebration of my birthday with my wife and kids on my actual birth date. So, today, after I got home from work, the wife and kids gave me my presents. The first was an awesome batch of brownies that my eleven year old made solo without the help of mom. They were great even without any milk which is how I prefer to consume delicious brownies but we are out at the moment. The second gift was a wrapped-by-my-nine-year-old present that turned out to be a Dual Shock Wireless Playstation controller. I thought it was great as it was and I jokingly mentioned to the wife that it was for a Playstation 3 and not a Playstation 2 (which I already own). She said the guy at Best Buy said it would work with the PS2. Totally joking, I said, "Nah, this is a PS3 controller so you'll have to take it back." She said, "Really!?" I said, "Nah, just kidding." About that time my oldest comes around the couch from the dining room holding a box with labeling stating it's a Playstation 3. I said, "That's really funny to bring me a box like this." Mainly because I've been joking with my wife about getting a PS3 because the HD format is now exclusively Blue Ray and the PS3 is a BR player as well as a gaming system so it's like we are getting two products for the price of one. I speak the truth as anyone who knows, knows that a BR player is like $200-$300 easily. I didn't ever press the issue thought because like many things I want, I really don't need and can do without. In fact, I've done without a PS3 or ANY new gaming system for a long time. Which isn't a big deal but I love to play games and I love to share that passion (or sickness) with my children because it was something I did without as a child.

Off topic...Playing games as a child for me was going to the backyard with baseball glove and tennis ball in hand to throw it upon the roof and try to anticipate or use my ninja-like reflexes to catch the ball as it rolled off the roof.

Back on topic...one of the main reasons I wanted a PS3 and not a good enough one to justify the purchase, hence throwing in the BR player, is that Grand Theft Auto IV is only available for the PS3 and not the PS2. I have all the other versions, starting with GTA III as that's the start of the best of graphics versions. When I heard they were coming out with GTA IV, I was stoked but then I wanted to cry when I found they weren't making a version for the PS2. To further my hesitation of purchasing the PS3, I heard that the more recent versions didn't play well if at all the PS2 games. The ones that did play weren't that great because the newer versions used software emulation versus hardware emulation like the older ones but that is what allowed the cost to lower a bit. Anyway, I still have quite a bit of PS2 games that I still play and my kids play like Guitar Hero I, II, and III. I really didn't like the idea of having to have two systems for games made basically for the same system. It should be backwards compatible and anyone in Sony who thought different should be tarred and feathered after having bamboo slivers shoved under their fingernails.

So, longer story shorter, I got a PS3. The wife is awesome. She knows me well but I could have done without it or until I got a really good deal on it...like damn near free. She told me that I have done without it for over a year so she thought I was finally deserving. Funny, I could see her saying I've done without sex for over a year so I deserve to pillage and plunder her lady garden but a PS3? But what the hell, I'm not going to fight her on it. She bought it. I got it. I love it. The kids and I will have a blast playing it. Go me!

Millenials or Gen Y...ners

Today was the first day of my work "retreat." It's not really a retreat as we aren't going anywhere away from work. We are walking across the street to a newer building on campus. How stupid is that?

It's such a lame ass idea and I'd really like to punch in the mouth the person that came up with it. Okay, I know who it is and it probably wouldn't be prudent to punch her in the mouth but maybe a little slapping will suffice.

We started the meeting off with coffee in a half-ass serving pot. I mean it was more like a thermos than anything and this thing probably can't hold more than 10-12 cups. Shit man, I can drink that much by myself yet I have to think of my 15 other coworkers in case they would like some. This just shows what they, the higher-ups, think of us staff members.

So, after about three hours of boredom and semi-irrelevant topics, it's lunchtime. What did they order for lunch? Salad from Central Market. Again, I say, "What the fuck!?" If I wanted salad, I would eat a salad. I'm a meat and potatoes kind of guy, especially if you are "making" me eat with my coworkers. Now, I don't mind eating with my coworkers...by choice, but at least give me the option of what meal I want to eat.

The salad wasn't actually half bad but again, options or opinions were not presented to any of us. The leafy salad had a lot of real, shredded bacon. We did have a pasta salad with balls of white cheese...mozzarella maybe...and some little miniature pie-type desserts. I guess it was okay but again, I like what I like and I like to leave the office for my hour of lunch.

Oh, back to the post topic, we covered the Millenials or Generation Y students that we will be dealing with in the immediate present and future. In case you didn't know, I work in the admissions office for a graduate program of which I have no real interaction with students because I'm the behind-the-scenes-techie-database guy. I'm not like your typical techie guy that is out of touch with real world and no pocket protector so I know about prospective students and what an admissions office has to go through.

I think I coined the term today "Gen Y-ners" after our meeting. I think it fits them perfectly as these kids have to be hand-held and told they are winners even though they are probably complete losers. I believe this comes from these "successful" parents that decided to make their money in the world FIRST and then wonder what is missing from their lives. Many feel that a child makes their successes complete. The problem with this is that these new parents are like fifty years old with kindergartners. They shower these children with gifts and praise because they are absent parents. The nanny is the child's real care taker. These kids are shipped to summer camps or even do community service as their parents don't want to have to entertain these kids all day long during the summer break. The kids have a sense of caring and want to change the world but they don't know how to do it because they don't ever have to pick themselves off the ground after falling or failing. They never are told that they need to pick themselves up because they are told they are winners no matter what the actual outcome.

These kids are disrespectful, albeit maybe unknowingly, as they refer to older people by first name instead of "Mr.", "Ms.", or "Dr". Every one seems to be equal to them even though it's just a sign of respect to refer to people with a proper title. Even those professors that don't have PhDs but are my teachers, I refer to them as "Professor So-and-so" because it shows a respect that they deserve. These kids don't see that as they are always put on an equal plane as everyone else no matter what they (the kids) have accomplished or are deserving of.

According to the presenter, the boss-boss of the office, we should help to cater to their neediness and become an enabler just like their parents. We should reward them for filling out an application. We should reward them for being admitted. We should send a letter to their parents letting them know that their 26-yr-old son or daughter has been accepted into our program or that they got a 3.7 GPA. At 26-yrs-old or above, I would think the parents would not need to know this as their child has been a legal adult for some time AND has already gotten an undergrad degree if they are applying to graduate programs.

Basically, we should sign on the kiss-their-ass train! It irks me to think of these people and how schools are catering to their continued ignorance and neediness. It's why other countries are making fun of American children and call us "spoiled." It's mostly true. Granted, there are still some parents that believe in instilling family values, hard work, loyalty and payoff from such but they are getting harder and harder to find.

So, I guess I should kiss their asses because these Gen Y-ners are probably the ones that will be taking care of my when I'm too old to beat their asses for their ignorant and shallow way of thinking.

I'm done. I've ranted too much about too little about too random.

Power button

What's the universal symbol for power?

Ridata 16GB Compact Flash

I saw a deal at Fry's Electronics online for a compact flash card at a capacity of 16 gigabytes for $69.99.

"Holy hell, Batman!" "No shit, Robin!"

I look at so many ads to price compare that I thought it was their in-store flyer and not the online store. I went yesterday to my local Fry's and bought an 8GB Ridata CF card that was on sale for $34.99 and asked about the 16GB one.

The sales associate was such a dumb ass that he said he thought the ad had expired since it was the 4th of July sale. I said, "Oh really, because the ad said the prices were good until close of business Tuesday." He looked up the 16GB card by typing just that, "16GB," and it pulled up one for $69.99 like I thought. He punched in the order for me and gave me my claim print outs so I could pick it up at the register and "cage" up front.

I get there and the give me my 8GB and 16GB CF cards...yes, I know, why get an 8GB when I am getting a 16GB but I had different plans for each of them and the deal was a good deal. I start walking towards the exit where they check your receipt with the goods in the bag which I think is extremely retarded.

...[going on a tangent]...Why check the goods if you have security measures in place to make sure the goods can't be swiped and if they can be swiped, then you need to fix your security measures...[back on track]...

I looked at my 16GB package to see what it looked like. It should look like the 8GB card because they are the same brand but it didn't. It was a brand called A-data. I was a little skeptical about it but it was the same price although I could have sworn it was Ridata that I wanted.

I passed through the "checkpoint" and walked to my vehicle. I looked at the print out of the compact flash that I printed and it was Ridata. I hadn't found any reviews on A-data for other items like the USB drives and such so I didn't feel like taking a chance since I knew Ridata was supposed to be a good brand.

I walked right back into the store and returned the item. The customer service guy kept trying to ask me if I wanted to at least give the brand a try and I repeatedly said, "NO!" I had him credit back to my card instead of a store credit because I didn't know if I'd be buying anything again there any time soon.

I drove home and checked the web site and found that the Ridata CF for $69.99 was through the online store only. The next day at work, I purchased it online and tried the in-store pickup. I say tried because before about a month or so ago you could only get in-store pickup in California. Uh, how stupid is that? Anyway, the in-store pickup option worked for my store.

I went to pick it up during my lunch hour. It took forever for them to get it from the "cage." I'm thinking that they were wondering how I was buying this for $69.99 when the in-store price was $99.99. That's the beauty of the online store with in-store pickup. Prices vary between the two mediums but you still can get it at the store if purchased at the cheaper online price.

Anyway, too long of a story shorter, I got a Ridata 16GB CF card for cheap! I was toying with the idea of using it for my MP3 collection. I store the music on it and use a USB adapter to plug it into my USB port on my vehicle stereo to play through the vehicle's speakers. I tested it later in the day and it worked. So, I'm stoked.

I'm done rambling.

To buy or not to buy, that is the question

I almost got snookered by Office Depot. I thought this was a really good deal. $59.99 for a portable external hard drive with 160GBs. I mean it is at first glance but if you did some research, you'd find it's not.

I went to my local store after work today thinking I might get lucky and pick up one of these Toshiba 160GB Portable hard drives but they were all out of stock in the store. I headed to Fry's to get some other things that I knew wanted to get there but all the while thinking I needed to get home to get online and purchase this drive before it is out of stock online as well.

On my drive home I started thinking, "Do I really need this?" and "Do I really want just 160GB?" I already have a few Western Digital Passport portable hard drives in the sizes of 320, 250(2), 160, and 120(2). The 120 and 160s have filled up fast with all my music, photos and videos for my Zune and Zen W. The 250 is very close to filling - about 20GB left - and the 320 holds way more and has about 20GB left as well.

Anyway, it hits me that I saw in Best Buy's weekly ad a WD 320GB Passport portable hard drive for $129.99. I think they had the 320GB Toshiba model for the same price.

So, I check back at OfficeDepot.com and what do I find? The 320GB Toshiba for $129.99.

What looked like at good deal at $59.99 for 160GB really isn't (unless you really want two 160GB hard drives) when you can get one 320GB hard drive for a tad over twice the 160GB. I prefer one drive at the higher capacity. Also, I have had external hard drives in various form factors from Maxtor, Fantom, and Buffalo that have all crapped out on me. It's either the drives themselves or the casing with the circuit boards and such that go bad. The Toshiba portables have gotten good reviews and I would buy them if they were much cheaper than the Western Digitals but since they aren't and I've used the WD Passports without issues, I'll get one of them.

Moral of the story: I really didn't need another external hard drive but if I did, it's good to effectively price compare to make sure you are getting a good deal.

So, that's my story!

Waterless urinals

We just had our urinals remodeled/replaced with the super efficient waterless urinals. Right now there are only two but we had three before so I'm sure the third is on its way. Hopefully, it'll be lower than the other two for us short fuckers. I'm terrified my dangling Johnson might touch the nasty urinal porcelain. Ugh!

Anyway, aren't these some freaky looking things? And yes, taking pictures of urinals is a little strange but there could be a career in it somewhere!



Check out an article on waterless urinals.

Charmin Toilet Tissue

This evening the family and I went to Target to get some necessities...the main one being toilet tissue. One roll left for a family of four with two children that use more to wipe than their little asses will ever need is not going to last more than a day.

We are an economy-size family in the sense that I like to buy things like toilet tissue, paper towels, paper plates and such in a decent amount of supply at a reasonable price so I don't have to make too many trips to get more within a certain time period.

So, once at Target, the wife and kids go to look at clothes, swimsuits and stuff. I head to get the necessary toilet tissue purchase before I forget the whole (real) reason I went to Target. I get to the toilet tissue section of the aisle and I see Charmin Ultra Soft 30pk and Charmin Ultra Strong 30pk...both for $16.99. They are the double-ply I guess because it said something like, "30 rolls that seems like 60." What the hell ever! It's 30 rolls unless you ration the tissue squares and count them to know when you have reach the typical one roll.

I can't decide if I want "Soft" or "Strong." It really doesn't matter as they are both fairly soft to the touch and strong...it's not like I can do a "Bounty-test" to see what their strength difference is. One bag is blue and the other is red.

Oh the dilemma!

What decides it for me? If you look at the Charmin Ultra Soft in the blue packaging you will see under the description "Our Softest Touch & Most Absorbent" in smaller writing something to the extent of "Nuestro mas suave y mas absorbente." It's not exact as I can't remember it completely from the packaging so I used Babel Fish.

If these non-English speaking/reading Mexican mother fuckers can't understand something as simplistic as describing toilet paper, then why are manufacturers catering to their ignorance and enabling them to continue to be English illiterate?!?!?! I see it everywhere in everyday life...the grocery store, the gas station, McDonald's and Wendy's. Everywhere and I'm sick of it. Our melting pot of a nation should make English the official language of the United States and if you can't speak it, GET THE FUCK OUT! I believe I've mentioned it before but I don't think you see bilingual signs of German/English, Chinese/English or French/English in those countries. But in America, we cater to stupid fucks! It's the American way because it's not just the "foreigners" we hand hold but also the dumb ass "Americans" that are born and bred here.

I guess I'd better get off my podium.

That was the deciding factor though....Spanish "subtitles" or not and I went with not!

Nicole Eggert in "Cattle Call"

Watched National Lampoon's Cattle Call last night.

I wasn't impressed with the movie. It's a sad state of affairs when sub-par movies are being made under the Lampoon name. This movie was no different and probably even worse than some of the more recent shit-pics. I can't even say it was worth the watch because it had good, gratuitous nudity. So sad!

I mean Nicole Eggert was in it (see a few screen caps below) and even she didn't show a boob. The other 'main' female character had a pretty face and great bod with a nice pair and she didn't show a boob...a side boob but nothing to write mama about!

Anyway, avoid this movie. It wasn't good and I may see about getting my 50¢ rental cost back. LOL!

Oh well, Nicole did look a lot different from Baywatch and whatever that movie was where she and Corey Haim were humping like rabbits.

4th of July weekend

Well, it's almost the 4^th of July holiday. For some dumb ass reason, I thought it was a Friday today. Not the 4^th but it felt like a Friday. Luckily tomorrow is technically my "work" Friday.

I really just wanted to test this posting from MS Outlook.

I got to get back to watching the movie Invisible Target (IMDB link here or Blockbuster.com link here -- it has a movie cover picture.

I did want to mention that the one thing I hate about blogging from Outlook is it puts all this coding and shit. Pisses me off! Other than that it's not too bad.

So, this half this post was originally done through Outlook but I edited and modified it starting with the 3^rd paragraph.

Oh well, I'm outta here!

Email humor 07/01/2008