Metallica - Death Magnetic

So, I was perusing at JR.com after they emailed me some advertisement and saw this picture.

Now, my gutter mind's first thought was something akin to a porn star's overused vuh-jayjay. Kind of disturbing but funny, nonetheless.

On further and closer inspection, I think it is supposed to be a magnet in the shape of a coffin. Hence, the title "Death Magnetic"?

Anyway, thought it was funny or strange or whatever and warranted posting about.

Elena Vesnina

This is why I watch tennis. Okay, not totally but it does make the boring moments worth while.

Jimi Hendrix - Wild Thing

A coworker of mine just got an 8gb iPod Touch. She wanted me to download from iTunes some songs since she doesn't have a computer at home. She created me a list and one of the songs on there was Wild Thing sung by Jimi Hendrix instead of The Troggs.

I did a Google search to see if he really performed the song or she inadvertently thought it was him instead of The Troggs. Turns out, he did do this song and I found him performing it live here. I didn't want to embed the video because I think this version sucks donkey dicks. I have to assume that the version she was looking for is better but if it's not, I don't see the point in not just getting the version by The Troggs.

Sorry you die-hard Hendrix fans. All things done by Jimi are not "Hendrix-great." No amount of behind-the-back playing, guitar-lighting-on-fire, or guitar-stage-slamming can make up for the pure shit that comes out of his mouth in this performance. Maybe a few drops of acid can ease my nausea of watching this but I'm not sure it is worth my time and effort. Jimi was an amazing guitar player but he really trashed this song in my opinion.

Anyway, just thought I'd comment.

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Goodbye and Good Riddance!

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DART - Dallas Area Rapid Transit

Found this picture from an article at Dallas Business Journal online. I thought it was neat. I guess I'm a train dork...among other things. Anyway, here's the simplistic picture.

Email humor 06/24/2009

This was sent to me a long time ago but I was cleaning out some of my Outlook folders and thought it was worth posting.

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TOUGH TIMES? A LETTER TO THE SPOILED

When I was a kid adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning uphill both ways through year 'round blizzards carrying their younger siblings on their backs to their one-room schoolhouse where they maintained a straight-A average despite their full-time after-school job at the local textile mill where they worked for 35 cents an hour just to help keep their family from starving to death!

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!

But.... Now that I've reached the ripe old age of 40, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today.

You've got it so fuckin' easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a goddamned Utopia! And I hate to say it but you kids today you don't know how good you've got it! I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet--we wanted to know something; we had to go to the goddamned library and look it up ourselves!

And there was no email! We had to actually write somebody a letter--with a pen! and then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the fuckin' mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!

And there were no MP3s or Napsters! You wanted to steal music, you had to go to the goddamned record store and shoplift it yourself!

Or we had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ'd usually talk over the beginning and fuck it all up!

You want to hear about hardship? You couldn't just download porn! You had to bribe some homeless dude to buy you a copy of "Hustler" at the 7-11! It was either that or jackoff to the lingere section of the JC Penney catalog!

Those were your options!

We didn't have fancy shit like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal!

And we didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was it could be your boss, your mom, a collections agent, your drug dealer, you didn't know!!! You just had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

And we didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation videogames with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like "Space Invaders" and "Asteroids" and the graphics sucked ass! Your guy was a little square! You had to use your imagination! And there were no multiple levels or screens; it was just one screen forever! And you could never win, the game just kept getting harder and faster until you died!

Just like LIFE!

When you went to the movie theater there no such thing as stadium seating! All the seats were the same height! A tall guy sat in front of you, you were screwed!

And sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 20 channels and there was no onscreen menu! You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! And there was no Cartoon Network! You could only get cartoons on Saturday morning... ...D'ya hear what the fuck I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK, you spoiled little bastards!

That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled, I swear to God! You guys wouldn't last five minutes back in 1978!

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Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Link to story on YahooNews here.

You know, I knew this movie was going to suck...or at least not be very well written. It seems that they are going for action-explosion versus action-story. That's disappointing but I also felt they did the same with the first Transformers movie.

I remember watching ALL the Saturday morning Transformers cartoons and they just didn't do the origins or storyline justice with the first movie and, as said, the second.

I'll still watch it when it comes out on DVD but I'm not going to pay $10 for it at the movie theater. Megan Fox is only so hot and if she's not stripping to show off her goodies then it's definitely not worth my hard-earned 10-spot!

On a another note...I'm getting Powder Blue in the mail from my Blockbuster.com membership. Jessica Biel does show her goodies and it will be well worth my membership dues!

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Goodbye and Good Riddance!

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Vet visit

I'm at the vet and I completely agree that expressing my pet's anal glands is best left to the professionals!



Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed

My funny phrase of the day

I didn't actually say it but my coworker did.

My gutter mind immediately heard and thought of one thing. You see what you hear.

Said coworker stands in the doorway to her office and says out loud and fairly rapidly, "Chism! Chism! Chism! I need to see Chism. Who has Chism?"

I'm walking down the hall and if I were drinking a beverage, I would have spewed it through my nostrils.

So, what came to your mind when you read and said, "Chism" in your head three times consecutively?

Yeah, that's what I thought!

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Goodbye and Good Riddance!

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Dress code standards

I had long hair and was occasionally asked 'when are you going to cut it?' Which really was a subtle hint. There is no hair-length dress code where I work. We do sort of have a business or business casual dress code depending on your job position/title but, again, it's not really official...in my book anyway.

But, today and a few days in the recent past, a female coworker has pretty much been wearing white jeans and a tank top to work. I can't really call her top sleeveless as it is really just a fancy tank top. Sleeveless to me basically still covers from you neck to your shoulder edge...which this does not.

So, I got "asked" on a daily basis about my hair (I've since cut it because it is just too damn hot in Texas already to have long hair during the summer) but no one so much as sends her a questioning glance.

It is injustice I tell ya, INJUSTICE!

Nah, I really could give a shit but it did just make me wonder about it...enough to blog.


Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed

Olivia Wilde is still hot

I was perusing the world, wide web and came across a few pictures of Olivia Wilde in Maxim magazine. She's still amazingly hot and to know that her character in House M.D. is a lesbian! Man, oh man!

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Goodbye and Good Riddance!

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U.S. Army's Parachute Team - Golden Knights

I was reading an article about George H.W. Bush celebrating his 85^th birthday with a tandem parachute jump. It mentioned something about the Army's Golden Knights and, as always, I got curious. Not that I know everything in the universe (close to it, LOL!), but I've never heard of the Golden Knights before.

So, for your perusal and random information filler for the day...I give you the Golden Knights and some photos I downloaded from their web page.

GTA 4: The Ballad of Gay Tony

From Google News:

Rockstar has announced the second expansion coming to Grand Theft Auto IV on Xbox 360 will be titled "The Ballad of Gay Tony."

Click here for as long as the story lasts.

So, this is great news that they are continuing the game series but what about the Playstation 3 folks? I mean, GTA was originally a game just for the Playstation, then the Playstation 2.

Is Sony neglecting it's initial target and LOYAL audience!? Bastards!

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Goodbye and Good Riddance!

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In the news 06/09/2009

This is probably one of the smartest things I've heard that former president Bush said...

From an article at Yahoo! News: On another subject, Mrs. Bush said her husband will have no comment on any Obama decisions. He feels that as a former president, "he owes President Obama his silence on issues and there's no reason to second-guess any decisions he makes," Mrs. Bush said.

Click here while the link to the story lasts.

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Goodbye and Good Riddance!

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Cool but a little redonkulous

Saw this on the home page of MSN.

As the entry title says, cool but redonkulous.

Click the here for the 'story' as long as it lasts.

R.I.P. David Carradine

I won't link the many articles today about the death of David Carradine. I'll just reflect on my own personal tangent...

I grew up watching Kwai Chang Caine in Kung Fu albeit in reruns because I was just a very wee little thing when it first aired.

I think back now and I recall the dusty, Western scenery. I remember Caine talking softly but with hidden vibrato that said, "No really! You just want to keep on walking if you know what's best for you!" He was such a bad ass. I would watch him right along with Saturday Matinee Kung Fu Theatre and Bruce Lee.

Yes, I was one of those kids that did what I saw in the shows. I would make my hand like a blade and punch sand or pebbles to toughen up my like Iron Fist. I would make wooden darts out of tree twigs like Bruce Lee in The Chinese Connection (I think). I would use my index finger to push through sand, mud, pebbles to make it strong to do the Finger of Death. I sawed many rake handles to make a bo staff to be like Bruce Lee in Enter the Dragon.

Anyway, Master Po is happy to have been reunited with his Grasshopper.

Email humor 06/03/2009

Carnation milk - 65 YEARS AGO .. This is choice!

A cute little lady from Iowa had worked in and around her family dairy farms since she was old enough to walk, with hours of hard work and little compensation. When canned Carnation Milk became available in grocery stores in approximately the 1940s, she read an advertisement offering $5,000 for the best slogan.

The producers wanted a rhyme beginning with "Carnation Milk is best of all"'

She thought to herself, I know all about milk and dairy farms. I can do this!

She sent in her entry, and several weeks later, a black limo pulled up in front of her house.

A man got out and said, 'Carnation LOVED your entry so much, we are here to award you $2,000 even though we will not be able to use it!'

See image below for the slogan

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Goodbye and Good Riddance!

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What the hell is all that screaming at the French Open?

Oh! It's Maria Sharapova actually having a reason to scream (yell)! She got her ass totally thrashed by a 5'2" mighty mouse, Dominika Cibulkova. I was hoping Sharapova would lose 6-0, 6-0 but I think Cibulkova got a little nervous and excited serving out the match the first time.

No worries! The screamer is gone. I can't stand watching her play tennis...well, when she's screaming so much.

It's a pity too because she's a pretty good player when she's not injured. It's just sometimes, most times, I wish she would put a gosh darn muzzle on it!!

Oh well.