U.S. Open 2010

In case you didn't know, the 2010 U.S. Open has begun. Actually, it began yesterday, August 30^th if you want to get specific.

I'm watching the Rafael Nadal vs. Teimuraz Gabashvili match at this time. Nadal just won the 2^nd set tie breaker. He's up 2 sets to 1 (7-6, 7-6). There is supposed to be a women's match afterward between Caroline Wozniacki and someone else. I guess it's good that they have lights at The Open but also makes me wonder how enthusiastic these ladies really are to play around 11pm or so at night (since it's currently 9:49pm CST).

Anyway, the opening ceremony was last night. I watched a little bit of it and I had a few comments to make. Now, I was paying attention half-heartedly so I could have my timing mixed up with the night matches so I guess this is based off of what I thought I perceived.

First of all, the opening ceremony should not be the night of the opening day. Many day matches had already been played. I was watching a couple of evening/night matches, including one that seemed to be in-progress, when they cut to the opening ceremony. Again, this could have been replayed from before the night matches started but I can't be certain as I wasn't fully paying attention to the opening ceremony because of all the stupid, boring speeches.

Second, it was weird the way the brought, talked about, used as a theme, those tennis players they put on the "red carpet" for overcoming diversity. Martina Navratilova, Esther Vergeer (who is quite hot by the way), Dori Samadzai-Bonner, and James Blake. I guess it was a good message but it was just kind of lame, boring and WTF for me. I thought Martina did give a sort of from-the-hip speech but it was sort of weird when she said something about being fortunate because she could be like Esther. I think Esther was weirded out by the comment too although she hid it pretty well.

Third, it's pretty sad that the lady, Christiane Amanpour, that introduced the above four "diversity overcomers" was leagues better at giving a speech compared to the white-haired USTA lady (I think she's the USTA president) and New York's Mayor Michael Bloomberg. It's kind of lame and embarrassing to know that people in these positions are very pore presenters. White-hair lady read word for word from her paper without much inflection or crowd "eye" contact. Bloomberg wasn't much better. In fact, I'd have to say Bloomberg was more disgraceful because he's in a high political position AND is the 8^th richest man in America. I think he could afford to take business presentation techniques courses at some university.

Fourth, Gloria Estefan sounded great but I think her performance was robotic. She is older these days so I don't expect her to bounce around but it was kind of a somber song. I guess it was along with the theme but it's like...this is tennis people and it shouldn't be themed along the likes of world hunger. Maybe I just didn't make my point clear but if you know what I mean then good otherwise oh well.

Fifth, there was a 12-yr-old Black boy that performed the National Anthem. He was forgettable. I think he won some competition to sing at the opening ceremony but I wonder what his competition was like. I don't know if he was just nervous because of the humongous crowd on Arthur Ashe stadium but his rendition was very lacking. I'm irritated to see/hear young singers trying to warble songs, any songs. I wasn't digging it and I don't think it was a good exhibition of his talent. He did have moments, a very few of them, where he sounded good but most of the time it was painful for me to watch and hear as a former "choir boy." Again it could be nerves, but he would take deep breaths in the middle of words because he was preparing for the long warbles. Don't get me wrong though. I sound harsh with my critique but he had ginormous huevos to sing acapella in front of so many on such a huge "stage" so overall kudos to him. I'd just recommend him watching his own performance and move on from there. Oh, and I'm not just being a dick with the "forgettable" comment. I have tried to Google for his name and no article on the official Open website or any other website mentions him even being at the ceremony.

Sixth, the fireworks were short and sweet if not somewhat lame but decent overall.

In the grand scheme of things, I would have been stoked just to be there watching so why complain about seeing it on TV? Because I can!

Email humor 08/28/2010

Visit To A Marriage Counselor

A married couple goes to a marriage counselor to work out some problems.

The counselor sits them on the couch and says "Let's start by talking about what you both have in common."

The husband says, "Well for starters, neither one of us sucks dick."

Occasionally I'm funny, at least I like to think so

At work today, I was feeling a little humorous or maybe it was delirium but I thought I'd have a little fun in email. I'm careful on what I say so don't you worry about me being inappropriate at work. If you learn anything from me, don't put anything in any form of print that you don't want to possibly come back and haunt you later. I still have hopes for that seat in the Senate!

First, I am in the process of getting a new desktop PC for work. Just about anything bought these days will be way better and faster than what I have, which is about six years old. It's getting to the point where rebooting is an hourly necessity.

Anyway, I sent a couple of links to the boss of two computers that vary in price by about $110. The main difference is one is an AMD and the other is Intel. Every other difference is minimal. So, the boss replies asking me if I had a personal preference. I respond with:

The feminine side of me likes the shiny, smooth exterior of the HP compared to the dull, bland exterior of the Dell. Although the masculine side of me likes saying “quad core” versus “i-5,” the megahertz are slightly better with the "i-5." In the long run, is it the price that decides which one of them is IN and which one is OUT?

Where’s Tim when I need him?

My boss is a big Project Runway fan. I don't watch it...honest...but my wife does and I usually get sucked in to its web!

Second, I finished a project that many people were looking forward to having access to. It's not a huge deal but I'm the only one that does it...no, stupid! Because it's my job not because I'm the smartest in the office, although I am.

Anyway, it just a bunch of photos that had to be resized, formatted, and web pages created in a specific format to portray these photos with identities and links for email listed for each person's photo in alphabetical order. It was about 154 photos in all. Tedious but even a "caveman could do it" although it would be more tedious with a hammer, pick and stone.

I emailed to my boss and others that the project was complete with this little message:

All,

The [blank] photos have been uploaded to the [blank] web site. Thanks to [Absent-Minded Jay] for his diligence, perseverance and technical skills for making this happen in a timely manner. The team would be lost without him.

I thought it was very well said and so totally true.

Wicked, revisited

I'm not really revisiting the whole Wicked thing. I just had a quick thought and follow up that I had to post.

I typed here previously about the musical.

I mentioned about how the stand-by for Elphaba was very good and somewhat hot from the long distance of sight that I had from the almost-need-oxygen level.

I was going through my desk and I found the playbill and ticket to the show. It reminded me of Elphaba's hotness and inside the playbill there happened to be a slip of paper notifying viewers that "the role of Elphaba will be played by Mariand Torres" so I thought I'd do a Googgle of her.

Sure enough, she has her own page and she looks just as good if not WAY better without the green makeup and witches hat!

That's it! Just thought I'd share that quick tidbit.

Annoyances at work

Some days I can barely take the inane conversations that I have to endure.

Boss-boss walks down the hall and asks in a whiny voice, "Jay, where's Boss [my immediate supervisor]?"

Absent-Minded Jay says, "She went to lunch."

Boss-boss says with a pouty tone, "Oh, but I really need her."

Absent-Minded Jay rolls his eyes at his computer screen. Luckily Boss-boss has turned and walked away by then.

What the hell did Boss-boss want me to do, go find where Boss went to lunch or call Boss's cellphone to see when Boss'll be back? Boss-boss has Boss's cell number too, duh!

Poking myself in the eye with a syringe would be more enjoyable than listening to and putting up with this on a daily basis!

Angry vagina?

Headline from PegasusNews says:

Dallas seminar to teach how to overcome an angry vagina
Click here for article while it lasts.

I wonder if this is like vagina dentata?

The article is interesting. I'm sure the seminar will be just as if not more. If I had the time, I'd attend just for the curiosity of it all.

A quote from the article couldn't ring more true:

An angry vagina is an angry woman while a happy vagina is a happy woman.

I know for a fact that my wife is happy when her vagina is happy! Which in turn means Absent-Minded Jay is happy!

New overdraft protection rules

I saw some articles in the papers today regarding the new overdraft protection and credit card "laws." I don't fully understand or care at this time. I'm sure once I get dinged with some bullshit charge, I'll be up in arms about it and some customer service person is going to get an ear full. You can see different articles here, here and here while they last.

That being said. I did get some notice a few weeks or more ago about my bank and opt-in for overdraft protection. It's funny that I kept the paper in my backpack as I fully intended on commenting sooner. So, without further delay, some gloriously ignorant (IMHO) verbage from the "letter to loyal customer:"

You need to decide if you want to:

1. OPT-IN - This means you want [bank] to authorize and pay your one-time debit card and ATM transactions when there may not be enough money in your account to cover the transaction.
2. OPT-OUT - This means you DO NOT want [bank] to authorize and pay your one-time debit card and ATM transactions when it appears that there is not enough money in your account to cover the transaction.

Here are a few examples:

1. At an ATM: You have $80 available in your account and you use your debit or ATM card to withdraw $100 at the ATM.
• IF YOU OPT IN: We may, at our discretion, authorize and pay the withdrawal. This could result in an overdraft in your account, which means you may be charge an NSF Charge-Paid Item fee of $38.
• IF YOU OPT OUT: The transaction will be declined. You will only be able to withdraw $80 from your account. You will not be charged a fee.
2. At the convenience store: You have $2 available in your account and want to purchase coffee and a snack for $8 with your debit card.
• IF YOU OPT IN: We may, at our discretion, authorize and pay the transaction. This could result in an overdraft in your account, which means you may be charged an NSF Charge-Paid Item fee of $38.
• IF YOU OPT OUT: The transaction will be declined. You will be able to purchase $20 worth of items, or have to use an alternative form of payment. You will not be charged a fee.

So, my thought is if the person doesn't have the money, then the transaction should be declined from the beginning. If they can't pay $80 or $8, what makes the bank think they will be able or want to pay the $38 overdraft fee?

To me, this is basically enabling. The way a parent enables an adult child - adult child has a job but instead of pays his/her bills, gets a tattoo; adult child owes money for electricity or rent, asks parent for money and parent pays the bill; next payment time rolls around and the adult child has put them self in the same situation; parent pays again. Hopefully you get the picture.

Using an ATM/debit card isn't like writing a check that you can float. It won't work if you don't have the a greater balance of funds already in the bank than your purchase amount. After the fact clearing, is one thing but letting people use more funds than they actually have is just stupid. It's kind of why we are in the economic bust we are in: too many people who couldn't really afford a house, bought a house and now they have to foreclose. If we'd stop people from making stupid decisions in the first place, we wouldn't have to clean up after them.

Failure of a supposed universal symbol

Is this a rendering of the lower area of a man...you know a penis and rectum?

Is this a rendering of a woman with a very large vagina and rectum?

Okay, that's all I got in the dirty-minded section of my brain.

There was a story the other day on the home/main page of Yahoo! Link to it here while it lasts. Apparently this is a required thing that started with 2008 models...before I got my 2010 (or is it 2009?) Honda CRV, I had/still have a 2000 (or is it 1999?) Dodge Grand Caravan...so when I saw this symbol on my CRV instrument panel my first thought was, "WTF? I just got this damn vehicle and now there is something majorly wrong with it?" It seems like a major problem because of the exclamation point! I mean that's even more scary looking than seeing the engine/emissions light come on. The engine light seemed more like a warning whereas this symbol says, "Get the hell out of the vehicle to avoid a catastrophic event!"

Okay, that's a little over the top but you get the point.

So, a quote from the article:

The issue here seems to be that the public hasn’t been properly educated on the warning symbol, which is supposed to be “idiot proof” and understandable across a wide variety of cultures and languages. Yet 46% of drivers couldn’t figure out that the icon represents a tire and 14% thought the symbol represented another problem with the vehicle entirely...

When I saw the warning, I couldn't remember where I put my vehicle manual so I had to Google for one to find out what the symbol meant. I'm sure you "smart" people, or those who can afford new cars every couple of years, figured it out or are familiar with it by now but if not, it's is the low tire pressure warning. That's right! This frightful symbol is just to warn you that your tire has gone 25% below the recommended tire pressure.

So, adding the statistics from the quote, we can proudly say that 60% (46% + 14%) of people surveyed are idiots. I like them odds!

Der Wienerschnitzel

A friend, or someone I can't remember whom...probably a web site I stumbled upon, mentioned this link to a deal at the restaurant Wienerschnitzel.

I don't know about you but this is a meal of certain death. It will probably be a slow, horrible, artery-clogging death! Even though, I will have to ponder this one before it expires. It may be worth an attempt although I think I may share it with a buddy. That way it's just a survivable heart attack for the both of us versus a sure coronary failure.

There has to be a better term

I'm a frequent Craiglist browser. I want decent quality stuff for (preferably) free or very cheap. I'm always on the prowl for an "office" desk. If you search the "desk" on Craigslist under furniture or even free stuff, you get a lot of listings. Although, I would say that 1 out of 10 is for what I am interested.

So, the first two pictures are what I would call an office desk. They have good surface area for a computer and desk top stuff, drawers to hold supplies, and look fairly sturdy. The first one was listed as "Office Desk" and the second was listed as "Double Pedestal Desk." Neither one of them is definitive in what they are but are near/exactly what I would expect when looking for an office (home or business) desk.

The next desk was listed under "Office Desk." You see right off the confusion this causes with picture #1. This is not a desk no matter how it is technically used. This is a table. Some could call it a work table of sorts. Maybe even desk table. This is most definitely not what I would call an office DESK.

This final desk was listed under something like "Modern/Contemporary Computer Desk." Granted, it looks exactly like what I would expect from the listing with the words "computer desk" in it but the first two pictures could be computer desks too.

I don't care what the listings are. I just wish the listings or Craigslist could help make it be more specific so I don't have to click on the link to find out that it isn't the type of desk for which I am looking. It would be kind of cool if Craigslist would integrate a picture/icon/avatar of sorts and then the listing description so we wouldn't have to waste time clicking into the listing then hitting the browser's back button. Maybe this is the way Craigslist boast it's "hits per page," I don't know. I've seen this type of image listing on other website but I think they are more of the for-profit sites versus free listings.

Anyway, I just figure with the leaps and bounds in technology, Craigslist could upgrade the listing procedures or at the least help define specific products more clearly. I'd probably have more luck winning the lottery.

HEADLINE: Clijsters rallies to beat Sharapova in Cincinnati final

This is a few days late but I had to comment. Link to the story here while it lasts.

I had to TiVo this match because I was busy or something. I like me some tennis and I really like women's tennis when the play is skillful, well-played and the women are attractive. Maria Sharapova is still pretty hot with long legs and Kim Clijsters is attractive in a different way (although she could probably snap an armored car in half with her legs but she is limber...anyway).

I started watching the match and I was getting pissed pissed off because of all the screaming that Sharapova was doing. She's a very good player and I used to like watching her but I can't these days because of her overtly audible annoyances! I know she doesn't have to make those screams to play. She's done it many times before as have all the other screamers like Serena Williams, Venus Williams and Victoria Azarenka just to name a few. I don't understand why the WTA hasn't made it a concern and rule violation. As player, this is likened to people talking, screaming or moving in the stands. The players don't like those things to happen and they complain to the chair umpire about it but not the screaming from across net?

I've typed about it before, I'm sure, but it's ridiculously out of control these days. Now, in a 5th set (or 3rd for the wimpy women) and after 3 hours or so of playing, I can see that there could be some grunting or winning a point celebratory screaming but anything else, needs to be reeled in and warned upon!

I didn't see the completion of this match. It almost ended in the 2nd set but Clijsters ended up winning it after a rain delay. Because of this rain delay, my TiVo stopped recording the show after the listed time frame (which is a major gripe I have with TiVo but that's for another ranting post). I thought about catching the replay on The Tennis Channel but they were showing some U.S. Open highlights of past, Agassi's 'biopic' and then the women's doubles finals.

I didn't find out who won until the Monday. So, my point of the post is I have to say that I was extremely ecstatic that Sharapova lost. The sad fact of the matter is I'm glad she lost because of her annoying screaming. She played a great first set and most of the second. She has a great game and is pretty enjoyable to watch. I just can't stand her noisiness. Yes, there is a mute button on my TV/remote, and I did use it, but I shouldn't have to.

Another thing about using the mute button is that I did it also to shut the commentators up...specifically, Cliff Drysdale. He kept commenting on how improved Sharapova's serve has come and he even had the video people put up side-by-side videos of now-and-then serves playing frame by frame to show how impressed he was with her "new" service motion. It was kind of like listening to your perverted Uncle Jim talking about how his niece has blossomed into a young lady. Barf!

Anyway, the U.S. Open is coming soon. I'm sure I will have more tennis post in the weeks to come. Can't wait, huh?

Have a Coke and a smile via credit card

Have become so desperate for our carbonated beverages and bottled water that we can no longer wait until we have cash or coin?

They just installed this in our building. I mean really. Can we not have at least 75 cents in our pocket, wallet or backpack?

I guess all things will become this "convenienced" but it's just downright weird to me.

I think of it this way: I pay for a 75 cent 12oz can of coke with my Visa. If I have a balance on the credit card that I'm not going to be able to immediately pay off when the bill is due, that 75 cents will get something like 8% interest (we'll just assume that not all the 18% interest will go straight to the Coke purchase but will be spread over the entire card balance - I don't know for sure if that's how it works and really don't care because I wouldn't purchase a 75 cent Coke on my credit card but let's just go with it). Now that convenient 75 cent coke is now 81 cents. Next bill rolls around and you make a payment but cannot pay the balance off. That 75 cents (overall balance) may have been reduced by the payment but it still is going to get added interest. And so on...

You get the point, right? I personally prefer not to pay more for a convenience versus a necessity than I have to and waiting until I can purchase a carbonated beverage with a full lunch/dinner or wait until I get change or just do without is a much more intelligent choice to me. However, I work on a college campus where mother and father pay for EVERYTHING for these students and the students have no sense of responsibility much less remorse at paying more for something than it's worth.

Shopping for school clothes sucks

I stand here in Aeropostle waiting for the wife and kids to find jeans for the oldest. It's "buy one get one on jeans"...if you didn't know when you walk in you will definitely know right after because the salesperson will tell you and every other person that walks through the door.

It's a mad house! The week before school starts is NOT the time to shop.

I am watching, gawking at people...shoppers...and they are rude! They unfold and disorganize the racks and shelves when the sales girl is right there for assistance. I can see the sales girl's frustration as she refolds another shirt and then another jeans, one after the other. Sure it's their job but is minimum wage really worth that shit? I guess there is a lot of downtime throughout the year so it may not be that bad...but still.

I guess I just am starting to hate people...rude, insensitive people who think they are the ONLY center of attention.

I digress!


Sent on the Super Jay Network from Super Jay's BlackBerry®

The homeless are on my nerves

I am so done with dealing with the homeless! Okay, so I don't actually "deal" with them but I do have to see them. I can't go to an intersection these days without seeing a freaking vagrant on the corner. Not only do they "pollute" the street with their presence, they have the audacity to come up to my window looking like pitiful people with these cardboard signs that say, "Please help, God bless" or "Hungry, please help God bless" or some variation of the form. Most of the signs usually have something about "God". Now, if these people truly believe in God do they really think that it was his plan for them to sit on a street corner looking for hand outs? Ok, ok...I know some of you will say that a lot of these people aren't there by choice. They are mentally challenged or some bullshit like that. Give me a break! I'm mentally challenged. Sure I have a high IQ and I have a job and family and blah, blah, blah, but that doesn't mean I'm not mentally challenged in some form or fashion!

I'm sick of these people invading my space. I can bare with the fact that they are on the street corner or wherever they may be. What I don't like is when they approach my vehicle. I don't know if they are just going to stand there and beg or they are going to reach in my window - if open - and grab my McDonald's double cheeseburger! Seriously though, they are inches from my vehicle and they could attack me, my vehicle or anyone else for that matter.

I consider these people no different than the phone salesman that calls me at home anywhere from 9am to 9pm. You don't like these people so why do you feel any pity for the vagrants stinking up our street corners? They both are making money. The phone salesman probably is making a steady base versus the vagrant who reaps what he sows. A lot of these vagrants make a decent, tax free living. Our local news channel did a study on these people and one reporter even pretended to be homeless and made about $100 for his day of work. I've seen a few myself walk from the street corner to a local parking lot not far from where he was pacing and get into a vehicle that's newer and in better shape than mine!

My problem with these people, whether they are on the phone or on the street, is that they are intruding on my personal time and space. Why should I be made to feel - it's a very quick feeling - a sense of guilt for these "homeless and hungry" because they are putting themselves in my personal space? I work hard for my money. I work hard for my free time. I don't need my time and space infringed upon by these people. I mention again how safe do you feel when some burly man - black, white, mexican or whatever - comes about a foot away from your vehicle window? It's a dangerous situation, especially if you encounter one of the "mentally ill" ones. Why would a person feel safer if one of these vagrants approached their car versus some other "normal" person? No sane person would.

They could buy buy some island in the middle of the ocean or something that has vegetation and wildlife - I don't want the guys to starve to death anymore than they already are! But I do think that they should fend for themselves and stop polluting our streets with their...bodies. There is this movie called No Escape where prisoners are sent to this "prison" island. In the movie, they get supplies dropped off periodically but all in all they pretty much fend for themselves. No bothering people that contribute to society and no littering the city streets. Now I don't know how fancy we'd get with the homeless because in the movie they were hardened criminals - most of them anyway.

Sometimes I drive by these people on the street and they are wearing name brand clothing like Nike, Addidas, Gap or FUBU. Some even have newer clothes than I do. I even saw one guy with a dog. I can't even afford to have a dog! Anyhow, I am sure these people have tried to enter and contribute to society in an "official" manner but have failed or bailed for some reason. It's never their fault, right, like a druggie or alcoholic?

My local city is a booming metroplex. They have come up with a possible plan to "help" the homeless problem. They have proposed to make some kind of center downtown, which is where the homeless typically tend to hover, wander and sleep. This sounds like a wonderful thing but that's only if the homeless take advantage of it, the center provides them with whatever the hell it is they might be looking for and if they bums stop begging on the street corners. I hope that the city doesn't expect the working people in the city to pay for this venture through our tax dollars. I'm not into helping out those that don't want to help out themselves. I need all my money just as much as they don't want to work!

So there is my rant. Just put your feelings into perspective...you don't like that phone salesman calling while you are eating dinner or waking you from a nap. Why would you want to have this "street salesman" interrupt you while you are driving or leisurely walking around town with your family or friends? At least the phone salesman doesn't have the chance to reach into your vehicle window or attack you on the street!

Later!

I'm getting old or going crazy

I was recently reminded of the time I watched the movie Calendar Girls. It was a pretty decent show.

What's interesting to me is that I found myself thinking that a few of those women were actually fairly nice looking. I mean they are old-er ladies but a couple of them did have nice figures and didn't look too bad in their nudie shots.

So...am I getting old or going crazy for thinking these "old broads" are attractive at my "young" age?

I think I'm going crazy!

Could the immigration problems be solved?

I was thinking today. I know. I know. The tides were high and the earth was quaking. Anyway, I've come up with yet another way to handle - or monitor - the illegal and legal immigrants within this country we call the great old U.S. of A. I think President Bush should take some notes.

First, we take the money we are wasting on this "war on terrorism" in Iraq and put it towards protecting our OWN land first! These people in Iraq don't really give a shit about democracy. They are happy that they aren't being suppressed by Saddam anymore. That's pretty much where their support and appreciation for the US ends. They live by a completely different religion and code of ethics than Americans. Let them figure this shit out from this point forward. That's what the found forefathers did.

Second, anyone that wants to enter the United States must pay an immigrant/immigration fee - whether it be weekly or monthly, yearly is too long - and have to check in with the local immigration office. This fee will help cover the costs that the governmental people say keeps the US from being more stringent and proactive to combat illegal immigration. These immigrants can't move without letting the local immigration office know. If they have a job, they have to fill out proof of residency forms before being able to work and this new immigration fee is automatically deducted from their paycheck. This will help keep track of them and allow the government to collect fees that will in turn help pay our immigration officers/workers. If these people refuse to pay these fees, then they are refused legal entry into our country or deported out of it.

Third, we need to do a recollection of those immigrants, legal or illegal, that are already in the country and have them sign up in this program.

Fourth, if a legal immigrant is caught doing something illegal like drug dealing, breaking in and entering or something similar - not speeding or running a stop sign, for the first few times anyway - they should have their visa revoked and shipped back to wherever they came from. These people have been given the opportunity to live the "American dream" and they have disrespected the very citizens that have basically accepted them into this country. If an illegal immigrant is busted for anything, they should be immediately deported because they weren't in this country legally to begin with. And I don't think that they should be flying out of this country first class. More like cargo!

Monitoring is the key, like it or not. I'm not saying that it's going to be the end all be all. I'm just saying let's step back and take a look at what we are doing now and see how it isn't working efficiently. The government can spend the money to monitor or kill people in other countries so why can't we spend the funds to monitor or protect those in our own country? I'll have to come up with some more steps but I think these would be a good start.

Did you get all that Mr. President? I could fax or email you a copy. Let me know!

Monogamy or Polygamy?

Is it wrong to be married and look at other women? How about wanting more than a look? How about a want and desire, even a sexual encounter?

Who says that this is wrong? The Bible? The church? The law? How was it that in ancient times there were some cultures that were polygamist and it didn't screw the whole world up? Or did it? Who the hell really knows?

It's tough for me to understand why people think we were created to be monogamist when there are so many beautiful women - and men if you like them - to chose from. Why is it that it's okay to buy yourself a car and trade up to a nicer, "younger" model before it dies but you can't do the same with a wife/husband without being looked upon badly? Isn't it all about having the newer, nicer model? Is it wrong to compare my wife to an automobile?

Now don't get me wrong. I love my wife dearly and think she is very beautiful. I made a vow to her and I will keep this vow. Not because of God or anyone else but because I made a promise to her that she would be my all, my everything! That's just the way I am. I give my word. I keep my word. Now, if she relinquished my leash and told me to go have fun, that's another story.

It just seems to me that there are too many "beautiful," wonderful and intelligent women/men in the world for it to be "normal" to want to be with one woman/man for the rest of your life. But most of us seem to follow this creed, including myself.

Oh well!

Shape matters, size matters not...

I was told by someone today that you can tell the health of your body by the shape of your shit. The shape of your shit?!

Now, they weren't talking cancer-detecting. But health-detection, as in maybe a fever or some minor "shit" (hehe) like that.

So, take this down: If you shit a solid piece and it's curved like a banana, then it must be a banana you sick ass! Ha, ha! Just kidding...I hope.

If your shit is curved like a banana, then you are healthy. If it's nugget-fied or ass-shrapnel, then you've got some kind of ailment.

Tell your doctor how you came to the conclusion of your sickness when you go to see him. See if they don't put you in a padded room.

The "shit" people will believe.

This is the way my luck is...

This was a post that was never posted some time ago, circa November 16, 2005.

I work with a fairly heavy-set woman. She actually could be my supervisor when my boss is out of the office. Today she was wearing black pants and an aqua turtle neck sweater that reminded me of Violet in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

She was sitting in her chair in front of her desk in a manner where she kind of had to lean, stretched forward in her chair to manipulate her mouse. This in turn made the back of her sweater rise a bit above the waste line of her pants.

I get the glorious luck of walking by and catching a glance of the top of her big, fat ass (I don't mean this meanly but it IS a big, fat ass!) outlined by a huge thong on top and her pant waste line on bottom.

Not only am I blind now but I had to run past her office or crying from what mine eyes have seen!

The whole way home I was hoping the cold air would freeze the image OUT of my mind.

I was kind of grossed out and needed to surf for some naked 'hotties' at home but I think the damage was already done.

Some thoughts on our trip to Waikiki Beach, Oahu, Hawaii

I haven't really had time to write about the family trip to Oahu. I finally took some time to fill out the survey on Expedia, which is the service I used to book our flight, hotel and rental car. I thought it was the least I could do to let other people know about our wonderful trip. So without further adieu, please enjoy a somewhat brief summary of our experience.

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ASTON WAIKIKI CIRCLE HOTEL check-in:

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Showed up. Signed in. Room was ready. At 1st, didn't have available parking under hotel but by the time I unloaded car, they said they had something available. Immediately headed up to room (13th fl). I expected a little more/different but it turned out to be pretty decent, albeit sparse, accommodations.

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ASTON WAIKIKI CIRCLE HOTEL review:

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Very nicely located. About 2-3 blks from Intl Market area near the Zoo but right across from beach with "closed-in" lagoon-type area. Ocean front balcony (extra $) made all the difference from the 13th fl. Just awesome! The room was smaller than expected but we weren't there to spend time in our room--just needed a safe, good place to stay overnight & why pay extra for in-hotel bar/restaurant when the point is to enjoy the island. It was basically a tiny efficiency apt w/o the kitchen. Very close to convenience stores & restaurants. Having parking underneath the hotel was a blessing as well as being 50 ft from the beach. Complimentary Kona coffee from 6:30am-9:30am but would be nice to have it go later. The wife & I definitely missed "anytime coffee" like at home. We didn't know what room we'd have until arrival which could have made the stay different but 13th fl was the best (only goes to 14 floors)! Will definitely request in the future if possible. High enough to help drown out late night street noise but insulation to the outside was lacking. It didn't wake me but it was noticeable. Able to check out free beach towels, boogie board, beach mats, air mattresses & surfboards (I think). We donated 2 pairs of cheaply-priced goggles & snorkels. Only big issue--some guests would smoke on the balcony which I believe was illegal & the hotel didn't police that well. Other than that, we had a blast & would recommend for motel/inn-type dwelling because of the sparsity of the room. In our opinion, it was worth it.

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WHICH AREA/NEIGHBORHOOD IN THIS CITY WOULD YOU RECOMMEND TO YOUR FELLOW TRAVELERS:

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Keneke's in Waimanalo - great food and good serving size for the price. Also, the shave ice is one of the best (according to them and also my kids)!

Nuuanu Pali Lookout - on a clear day, great views and photo ops. Can see "Chinaman's Hat" from here.

Polynesian Culture Center - especially the Rainbows of Paradise and evening shows, like Ha. Individual "villages" time shows were not spaced/scheduled properly so have to hope you pick and choose the good ones and the good ones are dependent on what you personally think not anyone else.

Diamond Head - heck of a hike but well worth reaching the top. Great views.

Hunauma Bay - very nice beach and snorkel area.

Makapuu Point or here - another hike but not as strenuous as Diamond Head. Great views.

Snorkel dolphin excursion in the wild versus captive. Can't ride or touch the sea life but we saw 100s of spinner dolphins and 5-7 sea turtles. Also, got to have the dolphins swimming and jumping along the boat at a good 30-40 mph. The kids loved it.

Aloha Flea Market - save your money for the Flea Market rather than buying near your hotel. Only open Wed, Sat, Sun, but can get twice as many shirts or whatever than at a convenience store or the International Market Place. Trust me on this one! If wasting money is okay to you, then you can forgo the Flea Market.

Pearl Harbor/Arizona Memorial - I think this is self explanatory.

So, much more we wanted to do but didn't get to and we were there for 12 days.

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GETTING AROUND:

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We rented a car as part of our package but they do have daily rentals of scooters all along Waikiki Beach for what I would say minimal costs. We walked around most of the places near our hotel. I'd say we probably walked about a 2-mile radius to window shop at stores, find restaurants or just plan walk around in the gorgeous weather because it's much faster than driving a vehicle, especially an automobile. They do have very good bus transit according to our hotel desk.

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SHOPPING

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Aloha Flea Market is the best place to find the cheapest prices on this and that, knickknacks, T-shirts, Hawaiian shirts, necklaces, bags, etc. You name it, you'll probably get it there and cheaper!

International Market is second in price. Still not as good as the Aloha Flea Market but better than local stores and shops. It's also more convenient than the Flea Market as it's open all day, every day and is probably more convenient to most of the hotels on Waikiki Beach.

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DINING

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Almost every big restaurant has a buffet. There are some that are just as costly as a buffet but you get small portions. I like to get my money's worth but also didn't want to eat a buffet for each meal every day. Fast food restaurants are a wash as you can get an entree at a "fancy" restaurant for about the same price or a few dollars more. Sometimes getting out of the touristy area will help find a "hole-in-the-wall" place like Keneke's that produces some of the best food I had on the island at a very reasonable price! There was also L&L Hawaiian BBQ restaurants (which has come to the mainland--in fact there is one in Plano, TX). L&L is good food but it's not as authentic as they think it is. I think the chain concept has diminished their quality or people on the mainland just don't know authentic "Hawaiian" cuisine. I'm not saying it is bad food. It had a lot of food choices compared to Keneke's but it wasn't better tasting.

In the news 08/10/2010

From an article at ClickOrlando.com

Tyler Shepard received a ticket in the mail for more than $100 after the city snapped a picture of him running the light at Conroy and Vineland roads.

"I was not very happy about it, because I don't have a lot of money. I'm in college, so it was a very hard ticket to pay," Shepard said.

Click here for article while it lasts.

Like a couple of the commentors said, "Shepard, grow the fuck up! You broke the law. You pay the fine!"

Do people really think that the excuse of "I'm in college" going to really work?

These kind of kids are America's future?!

Fraggle Rock

This is a little, okay a lot, late but I have been very busy! In fact, I originally saw this for sale back on June 24^th.

Anyway, Fraggle Rock, are you old enough to remember it or were you young enough to watch it? I was probably around 10 or 11 years old. I remember seeing it on cable. You know, the cable back in the day (Storer Cable it was called) where you had a push-button type box that had a three rows of numbers (pic). I would see this show come on, randomly to me as I never paid attention the exact day and time it would broadcast, and I couldn't turn the channel. It's like I was being mind-melded to watch the show if I caught a glimpse of it.

I thought it was an entertaining show. It was a step up in a sense from Sesame Street. The character stand-outs to me were Red and then the Doozers. I recall a few others but they don't stick out as much as these characters.

What reminded me of the show back in June was I saw a deal for the series on DVD (for sale here). I saved the link to post about it and then things got hectic.

I'm not sure if this is a show my kids would like to see as they are a few years older now than I was when I first saw the show. It could go either way really but it's not worth a $70 experiment.

For others, it might be some good nostalgia to reflect upon one's childhood memory.