Red Bull "Sex" Commercial

My nephew and niece came over the other day and were talking about this Red Bull commercial where one character grabs the boob of another character. I had to watch it a few times because it didn't look like a boob grab at first but then it happens fast and it is definitely a boob grab. Some serious boob-cuppage!

If you want to fast forward to "the grab," it's at about 11 seconds.

Merry Christmas 2008 and Happy New Year 2009!!

Just a quick post to say "MERRY CHRISTMAS!"

That's right "CHRISTMAS" Not Happy Holidays.

For all you other religions or non-religions, take it as a gesture of good will. It's not a malicious statement and it never has been. So, for those that find it offensive...shut the fuck up and worry about the things that ARE ill will.

If you have a problem with Christmas, then I don't think you should get a PAID holiday day off for it. Get your ass back to work! See, Christmas isn't so bad after all, huh? And Merry Christmas never hurt anybody.

Anyway, I'll get off my podium and go back to the Christmas cheer!

May ye all be merry and have a fun, memorable, exciting Christmas and New Year!

Email humor 12/20/2008

Church choir takes on hip hop

This is one of the funniest things I've seen/heard. Worth it to hear the singing and see the faces of the choir members. It also makes me think that the gospel songs are much easier to sing than most people think. Anyway, enjoy...

Email humor 12/18/2008

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him.

She says, 'Hello.'

He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from. So he says, 'Do you know me?'

To which she replies, 'I think you're the father of one of my kids.'

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, 'Are you the stripper from the bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery???'

She looks into his eyes and says calmly, 'No, I'm your son's teacher.'

Burger King

I love the smell of Burger King. You know that smell. That flame-broiled aroma.

Mmmm.

I was driving down the street during lunch today and passed by a Burger King. Too bad I was already planning on going to Taco Bell. T-Bell doesn't typically smell as good but the food is better.

Thinking about Burger King just reminded me of something...

I passed by one the other day. I didn't pass as closely as I did today so no flamey-broiledness but I did see a change in something they advertise on the big windows around the indoor playground.

It said, "2 Whoppers for $4." Now, that's not a big deal in itself but a few weeks before, I passed this same Burger King and the big banner said, "2 Whoppers for $3."

If that's not showing you where the bad economy really hits, I don't know what will!

Random thought over......

Pulse 2: Afterlife (2008)

Pulse 2: Afterlife (2008). I just finished watching this movie.

I must say that it is quite a disappointment. The best part was when this one...only one...hot chick showed her boobies but then she turned into like a pile of mush and tar-like substance.

I, like one other on IMDB, only got this Pulse 2 because I saw Pulse and thought it was an okay movie. Okay, both fairly sucked but I saw the first so I sort of policy of subjecting myself to the pain and suffering of watching the "sequel."

In my opinion, it is a good one to pass. I think I would have enjoyed bamboo slivers shoved under my fingernails more than I did this movie.

Verdict: Burn the section of the video store that holds this movie. It's not worth the time and effort the mailman expended to deliver it to me!

Email humor 12/12/2008

GOD WAS BUSY

A United States Marine was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan.

One of the courses had a professor who was an avowed atheist and a member of the ACLU.

One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, 'God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes.'

The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, 'Here I am God. I'm still waiting.'

It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him; knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold.

The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, silently. The other students were shocked and stunned and sat there looking on in silence.

The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine and asked, 'What the heck is the matter with you? Why did you do that?'

The Marine calmly replied, 'God was too busy today protecting America's soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid stuff and act like an idiot. So, He sent me.'

Toilets

So, as I just got done getting my ass ripped by a massive shit...yes, it's graphic but you didn't see the log!...a thought came to mind during the pain and suffering that I survived.

I think ALL toilets/plumbing should be of industrial strength and build. I mean how often do you hear about businesses having backed up toilets? The toilet I used has a motion/heat sensor and when I leaned a bit to wipe it automatically flushed. Luckily, I was prepared and I had to lean forward and increase the height my ass was above the seat a bit more otherwise, I think I would have had my own "stuff" splashed back up on my ass! Also, I could feel the pull of the suction when the toilet flushed. I was lucky I didn't get sucked into the nasty depths of public facility hell! I mean it sucked that huge log I laid like it was a cotton ball. It was quite amazing!

So, why don't they put in this kind of plumbing in all buildings, houses, etc., etc.? I'm no plumbing expert but is there some special plumbing that is used for the businesses versus the homes? The toilets themselves look like they should be universal between the two but it's the suction-flush versus the bowl-flush that must be the difference. Not to mention the piping must be much bigger since sometimes, often too many times, the home piping gets clogged from one simple but huge pooping!

Ah well! Note to self: if you ever decide to buy another house, build it and put industrial plumbing and toilets!

Commentators say the darndest things...

So, I was watching the Florida versus Alabama game this past weekend and no I am not a football fan, especially college football, but I do watch the occasional game. I watched the FL vs AL game because I know a few people who are rooters for both sides and thought it would be good to watch so they would have someone to discuss it with if they had absolutely no one else to do so. Yes, I would be their last resort and I am okay with that. As said, I am not a huge, obsessive football fan.

Anyway, to find some of my own entertainment value in these I am not completely "in to," I usually find something for shits and giggles in the commentators or freaky fans in the stands.

Two such things occurred for me: First, one of the TV commentators was talking about the Alabama coach and said,

"That coach only likes players that are ball friendly!"

Second, and I believe it was the same game, the TV commentator says,

"That coach only recruits players that have ball skills!"

Yes, slightly immature but funny as shit when I am someone that's not totally in it just for the game play! Although, it was a very good game and a lot of the plays were very impressive.

Craigslist posting

Another funny Craigslist posting. It's already been tagged for removal from the "FREE" listings:

Twilight

Here I sit, at the Angelika Theatre or Film Center about to watch Twilight with my oldest and their friend.

Before coming in but while at the ticket window, I tell the person I need two child and one student ticket. She looks at me and says, "I'm sorry. Did you say 'One student and two child?'" I said, "Yes," and showed her my "student" ID.

I was like, "What the hell, I can't be a 40-yr-old student?!"

Anyway, I will let you know how the movie was since I really have no idea what it is about.



Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed

Telemarketing call

I received a call today around 6:13 p.m. The caller ID is reflected in the following picture:



I'm not sure if it is a telemarketing call but it's really weird to use this as the caller ID.

It almost sends out fireworks stating: TELEMARKETER!

Again, I don't know for sure and a quick Google of it says it's from some calling service that some physician offices use for appointment reminders.

What the fuck do they pay their front desk people or nurses for?