Email humor 02/29/2008

Happy freaking Leap Year!

Damn, I think this is the ONLY leap year that I've ever paid some kind of attention to.

I must be old. Besides, my awesome Timex Ironman can't keep up with it. The date on my most awesome watch today says 3-01. That's March 1st for the bright ones in the audience.

Sometimes technology fails me.

Dallas Mavericks trade talks...finale

Just like many fans of any sport, I don't care how it's done but I want my team to win a championship. I don't care who does it. I don't care who was traded or signed to make it happen. In the words of Captain Picard, just "Make it so!"

So, all this talk about who is being traded (given up) for the Kidd trade really doesn't matter.

In my opinion, the guy that f-ed up the original trade deal (Devean George was it?) better step up his game! There is nothing worse than an "employee" screwing with a big deal that "management" has cooked up! Nothing! The "top brass" on down will be keeping a close eye on his ass!

After watching some of tonight's game in New Orleans, Devean did hit a couple of three-pointers so I guess he's thinking the same thing I was typing.

Happy Valentine's Day

Just another day to me but to some...well, something more! Fools! :-P

Toyota RAV4 versus Toyota Highlander

— VERSUS —


So we went vehicle shopping on Saturday after I played tennis. The wife was initially very interested in the Toyota RAV4 (pictured on the left is the Limited RAV4 that includes the third-row seating which is what she wanted the most). We went to Freeman Toyota in Hurst as it was pretty much right down the street from where I play tennis. The pictures don't show the size difference but trust me there IS a difference.

We both hate the process of searching for a new vehicle. The purchasing is pretty much the easy part. We call our credit union and we are pre-approved via phone. Easy, smeasy.

Going and looking at the vehicle, test driving and finding out the costs and hearing the salesman's spill...sucks time away from the things we really want to do...which is whatever the hell we want.

Anyway, we spent a couple of hours at Freeman and the salesman spill wasn't really given (because we typically talk to fleet sales through our credit union contacts(?)).

We did test drive the RAV4 first. It wasn't too bad but it really felt like a car that's been lifted a few inches or so. I guess it's probably because we have been driving the Dodge Grand Caravan which is surprisingly very spacious for something classified as a minivan. In the RAV4, the third-row seating is completely ridiculous! I mean unless your children are maybe three feet or shorter or you want to transport your BIG dog (or smaller) around, there really is NO point in the third row of "seats." In fact, the kids were in the second-row seats and were like, "I don't like this. We feel so close to each other and yet it's roomy at the top [above their heads although they didn't have their booster seats]."

We then test drove the Highlander. The moment we stepped into the vehicle it was already feeling like a whole different world in comparison. The sales guy said it would be when the wife asked about comparing the two vehicles—a suped up RAV4 versus a stripped down Highlander. The Highlander was worlds above. I mean it was spacious, powerful (a V6 versus a 4-cylinder) and just an overall better looking/feeling vehicle. It is funny though that the kids didn't mind so much the roominess in the Highlander.

We drove the Highlander back to the dealership and told them that it was obviously the clear winner in the comparison. One of the sales guys was like, "I told you so!" Which he did but we wouldn't have believed it if we didn't experience it by test driving both—the RAV4 THEN the Highlander. We told them we'd have to sit and stew on it but we'd let them know...soon...if we were going to purchase.

On the way home, we stopped by Toyota of Irving to see what they could come up with and to really see if they would quote different prices. Toyota of Irving was basically the same cost. They were about $400 higher but we think that was because Freeman didn't add the destination charge or whatever it's called.

The price difference between the Limited RAV4 and the stripped-down Highlander was around $3000. When you are talking $26k to $29k, what is $3k really? In payments, it's about $70 extra a month or roughly $350 versus $420 total monthly payment. And for that extra dough a month, you get a substantially better vehicle!

So, that was the rest of my Saturday after morning tennis. Exciting, huh? We still aren't sure what we are going to do because it is kind of based on whether the wife will get offered a full-time job or not on Wednesday and if we really NEED a new car with a car payment.

Ifs, ifs, ifs...basically it comes down to this, if the wife wants I will get and we'll figure out how to handle the finances.

My initial post was just shopping for a new vehicle. Since originally posting, I've essentially reviewed my purchase in the comments section.

I'm a blubbering cry-baby idiot

So this evening I was flipping channels and saw "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition". This episode was about the Gilyeat family.

Anyway, I started watching about 20 minutes after the show began and within minutes I was a crying, whiny-ass mo-fo!

Between my runny nose and sinuses, I really wasn't in the need for crying to make it worse!

My kids have made me an uber-sensitive woman-man!

Movie quote

Okay, so I'm in the middle of watching the movie Wedding Daze and I heard one of the funniest lines said in a movie...

"Son, I'd like you to have my cock ring!"

Email humor 02/07/2008

The Italian, The Frenchman and The Redneck

The Italian says, "When I've a finished a makina da love withah my wife, I go down and gently tickle the back of her knees. She floats 6 inches above a da bed in ecstasy."

The Frenchman replies, "Zat is noting. When Ah've finished making ze love with ze wife, ah kiss all ze way down her body...and zen ah lick za soles of her feet wiz mah tongue and she floats 12 inches above ze bed in pure ecstasy."

The Redneck says, "That aint nothing. When I've finished porkin' the ole lady, I git out of bed, walk over to the winder and wipe my weener on the curtains. She hits the freakin' ceiling.

Neuros OSD

I received the Neuros OSD yesterday. Check the link to see what it is and you can also get a review at CNET—just do a search and you'll find it on their website.

I just opened the shipping package but not the actual box to the Neuros OSD so I can't actually say anything on the quality of the product physically or for what it actually does. I will post another entry once I get to the meat and potatoes of it.

I've read quite a few reviews and there aren't many complaints, if any, on this thing for transferring video from multiple sources to a hard drive/memory card so I'm expecting big things from this little thing. I am looking for an easier way to capture video off my TiVo or MiniDV to either move to my computer, Zen W, Zune or even a DVD. I have tried to capture video through Pinnacle's USB TV capture contraption and Windows Movie Make. It worked fine but I'd like to be able to do something without having to initially use my computer because it misses me when I'm away from it too long.

Australian Open 2008 Women's Final

It has been decided. The 2008 Australian Open women's final is set. Who will win? I'm hoping for Ana Ivanovic because I cannot stand the screaming/screeching that comes from Maria Sharapova.

The only shrieking I want to hear from either of them is when I have them bent over the dining table...never mind.

They just need to be saying..."JAY! JAY! JAY! YES, JAY!" :-)

Maria Sharapova vs Ana Ivanovic

I Is A Business School Undergrad

So, this is a little late...only by a week or so...but I have been officially accepted into the undergraduate business school at the college that I work. After a semester and month or so of applying, not meeting the minimum GPA of 3.1 by a half grade point, taking an extra class to see if I could raise my GPA, writing an appeal letter after not increasing my GPA, meeting with the undergraduate admissions director, then meeting with the dean of the undergraduate program for him to tell me he's denying my appeal letter but he'll take it to his boss (who just happens to be the boss boss of me) and see what he decides...I have been officially endorsed and accepted by the dean of the business school. Yippee! So, approximately another three years I will be the 40-yr-old undergraduate graduate!

So, the Spring 2008 semester has started and I am officially enrolled in six hours of class or two classes. One should be an easy A- or greater. The other, who knows at this point. The "A-" course is a basics of photography course that teaches photography with the ancient form of 35mm. The "who knows" course is a business law and ethics course whose book cost me $140 used AND weighs about 20 lbs AND we have to read at least two chapters and a handout between class sessions. I'm not sure I'm into this class but it is part of the business core...go figure...so I have to take it sometime or other. I guess why not sooner than later and besides, it was the only available core course I could fit into my busy work/play schedule. We'll see how it goes.

In conclusion, I just want to let all you middle-aged people out there that it is never too late to get your degree. Although I don't really plan on doing anything with it, I will hopefully, finally complete it in the next three years. It will be nice to say I'm a college graduate even though I don't believe that someone needs a degree to be a competent contributor to ANY part of the workforce. Nor does it mean that one with a degree is better/smarter than one without. What it does mean is that (1) I got my worth out of my free tuition benefit from the college I work at since they pay me peanuts, (2) I will have something that says I came, I saw, I endured, I kicked ass, (3) it looks good for my kids even though I really don't think I need a degree and college is WAY overrated, and (4) I will have a BBA degree from one of the most prestigious schools in the south!

All I have to do now is finish....{fingers crossed}

Australian Open 2008

On the women's draw, I'm hoping someone else wins this year besides Justine Henin or Serena Williams. I'm so sick of seeing the same damn people winning. Of course, I guess that's the whole point of being the top in the game but seeing the same people win major tournament after major tournament gets boring to me after awhile.

On the men's draw, I hope someone takes Roger Federer out of the running. He's a great player but, again, I'd like to see someone else step up and win! Even Rafael Nadal would be a change but I think I'd like to see James Blake take the championship, even Novak Djokovic would be a change even though he's not an American which is why I'd prefer Blake. Hell, I'd even take Jo-Wilfried Tsonga from France. Somebody listen to my yelling at the TV and dethrone Federer and Henin/Williams!

So here's the draw for the women's quarterfinals with pictures. I'd do the men's too but who cares what they look like?!

Justine Henin vs Maria Sharapova


Jelena Jankovic vs Serena Williams


Venus Williams vs Ana Ivanovic


Daniela Hantuchova vs Agnieszka Radwanska

Mark Cuban is rich

...if you didn't know that already.

They had an article at DallasNews.com regarding people fighting the property tax appraisals. They say most people don't fight it because they are too busy or their mortgage company or trust fund or whatever handles it.

Even though I'm super jealous that his a gajillion times richer than I'll ever be, it's nice to see Cubes fight for something that the county will secretly suck you dry with. But on the other hand, Cubes is rich.

I guess that's how the rich stay rich or get richer. Stick it to the man, Cubes!

Here's a picture of Cuban's house that they had in the article. Now, why does a man with a wife and two children (I think) need a house THIS fucking big!? You could say that's showing you have more money than you know what to do with but it says it's ONLY appraised for $13.5mil. That's just $2.7mil under Jerry Jones house...which wasn't pictured. I envision it in the shape of a Cowboys star. LOL!