A smart rapper

Again, I'm not politically charge as far as Democratic, Republican or whatever but this Iragi-American rapper seems pretty intelligent. He's got a smart perspective of the now useless Iraq War. Also, at least, he's not some dumb thug or thug wannabe turned rapper. Oh, and don't ask me why Chuck Norris is the anchorman stand-in. I just found this on the web and thought I'd share. It does bother me on how biased Chuck's questions are to this guy.

In my opinion, the rapper is completely right from a few certain points of view. Iraq was in a better state albeit run by a self-centered dictator (no, I'm not describing Bush). Now, you got people killing people just because of their different religions or beliefs or just because they walk across the street in front of the wrong guys.

Again, I could go on and on but I'll let you watch the video now.

Plunging the toilet

This is what I spent doing from about 9:30 p.m. Saturday until about 3 a.m. Sunday. I think when my nephew took a shit before he and I left around 7 p.m. to go eat at North Main BBQ he used too damn much toilet paper. I don't understand why people think the more toilet paper they wrap around their hand the better it is to wipe their ass but that's the only thing I can assume that caused it. Especially since he was in the can for a good thirty minutes.

The bad thing about my plumbing, which I'm sure it is with most house plumbing, is usually when my toilet gets stopped up the bathtub gets stopped up as well. Also, if I flush the toilet it will drain up through the piping of the bathtub and into the bathtub. What's fun about that is sometimes you get some nice toilet paper residue, ass shrapnel or anything that may have been washed down the kitchen sink drain after being chewed up in the garbage disposal.

So, the above pictures are (1)the toilet with plunger after one of my many plunger sessions and (2)the bathtub after one of the backups into it. Oh, and to answer the burning question...yes, I did get it unclogged. Well, I didn't. I called the emergency repair number for our rental real estate service and they sent out a plumber around 3 p.m. or so today. He had to get his "machine" and stick it through the - oh, I forget the term he used but anyway - "pipe" and rootered it. I saw a bunch of roots of the thin, stringy variety. At first I thought they were my wife and kid's hair from using the shower but after closer inspection, it really was thin, stringy roots.

So, that's the fun I had this weekend. Oh yeah, beside my kids getting the flu. All was good.

Magic shoes

Momma said these were my magic shoes! I bought these about a month ago before our trip to Illinois because my previous pair had holes in the toes from playing tennis. I figured I needed some new ones before we got to the cold of Illinois.

I wore these for the first time on the tennis court while playing my tennis friend and he asked me what the hell they were. He obviously knew they were tennis shoes but he was amused at the "old man" velcro straps. I told him that I don't like to tie my lace shoes tight so I can slip them on and off easily, without untying them. So, when I needed a new pair, I decided to try out the two-velcro strap shoes. They are working out pretty nicely. Easy on, easy off just like my loosely tied laced shoes.

To each his own! Damn straight!

Samsung A900

  

This is my sort of rocking Samsung A900. I don't use it to its full potential but nonetheless it is pretty cool. Two weeks into having it (back in October) I had it in my left pants pocket. I was walking through my house and banged my leg against my two-drawer file cabinet. Not thinking anything about it, I kept with what I was doing. A few days later, I noticed that I had this awesome fig leaf thing on the LCD on the outside of the phone. With further inspection, I realized that the screen was cracked and had like five splinters which made the fig leaf shape.

I know it's been a long time since October but I just got a notification in the mail about my protection plan is increasing a dollar a month so I figured I need to finally get the damn thing fixed. Luckily, there is a Sprint PCS store right around the corner from me. I just haven't taken the time to stop by there and get my phone fixed.

I'm a slacker, what can I say?

Jessica Simpson's boobs

I have seen this picture on some "celebrity" blogs with the text or title of something like "Jessica's saggy boobs." I don't know about you but it's got to be some disgruntled female that's writing such ignorant stuff.

I mean, as a male...hell probably if I was female too, I would take Jessica Simpson as many times and for as long as she'd let me. That is, of course, if she used just about any other person's voice than her own. She's got a little bit of a whiny, annoying voice that tends to get on one's nerves after a while.

Anyway, yes they may be a bit saggy but they aren't exactly A-B cups, ya know! I guarantee you that any male, female, bisexual or whatever would accept the offer of seeing, feeling, and/or f*cking her boobs/body if Jessica asked. I will knock you over on my way to the front of the line so watch the hell out!

2007 NHL All Star Game - Dallas, Texas

What kind of hockey fan am I? It's not everyday that the NHL All Star game is in my backyard and yet I will be watching it on Versus on my DirecTV. I guess I don't feel too bad since it obviously isn't a big enough deal to be on local television. Worse yet, I hear that some people may not even be able to see the game because their local cable or satellite service may not carry the Versus channel (previously OLN).

I would have purchased tickets but 1) it's expensive, more so than a regular Stars' home game and 2) it's on a freaking weekday! I've read that they did it during the week because they couldn't compete with football on the weekend. Of course there is no pro football games on this weekend since the Super Bowl is next weekend but I guess the NHLAS planners didn't check their sports calendars very well. Probably wouldn't matter because I think even basketball (pro and college) would have higher viewership than the NHL All Star game. That really sucks!

Anyway, at least I know I will be able to watch it on television and read about how exciting it was to be there in the next days' Dallas Morning News.

Air Force pictures

I'm not sure why or where I found this link but it's cool (to an extent) if you like to see cool planes, jets, rockets and such.

On a new path...hopefully

Well, I think I've decided to be true to my hopes and start my dieting and exercising. Sunday, I rode for about thirty minutes on my bicycle. It wasn't too long but it wasn't an easy ride either. It was downhill, level and uphill. It was on cement and a little off-road. All in all it was good, although I think I nearly had a heart attack after pushing myself to get up one very long hill.

So, I'm going to try to exercise more, drink more water, drink less Diet Dr Pepper and watch what I eat. To help with the latter, I think I'll have to get more used to seeing these...well, I've been seeing these for some time but I guess I'll be EATING more of these like I was supposed to before. Oh well, wish me luck!

Law & Order's Stephanie March

I think she is hotter with the glasses but with or without them, I'd be her lap dog...and just about anything else she wanted me to be.

Stupid and gullible

More and more I am realizing how freaking STUPID and GULLIBLE people in the world are. This is why there will never be "world peace."

Woman pleads guilty in bizarre medical scam

Click on the above quote to see the full article at Dallas Morning News online while it lasts.

My own little "priceless" commercial

An adult and two children buffets with sodas at Cici's	$15.76
Three attempts to get the exact prize the kids want without success	$1.50
My children being disappointed but mature enough to realize that something is better than nothing	Priceless!

Personally, I think the prizes they did receive are actually cooler than a sticky hand/creature. Check 'em out!

You gotta love that crazy ass bastard, Ted Nugent

Nugent creates a stir at inauguration
11:40 AM CST on Thursday, January 18, 2007
Associated Press

AUSTIN - Hours after Gov. Rick Perry kicked off his second full term in office, rocker Ted Nugent helped him celebrate at a black-tie gala, but not all attendees were pleased by the performance.

Using machine guns as props, Nugent appeared onstage as the final act of the inaugural ball wearing a cut-off T-shirt emblazoned with the Confederate flag and shouting offensive remarks about non-English speakers, according to people who were in attendance."

Click on quote to see entire article at DallasNews.com

Email humor 01/17/2007

Make sure you have the sound up and watch the whole thing. It's pretty funny.

Effects of Drugs on Spiders

Dilbert strip of the day 01/17/2007

I didn't realize how closely Dilbert mimicks my job. LOL!



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Amy Smart can "Crank" me anytime!

Just got done watching Crank (2006). I thought it was a pretty good movie. High action mixed in with some comedic fanfare. There are some far fetched sequences that occur but it's part of the movie and they don't play it like it's supposed to be factual.

So, if you get a chance to rent this or view it for free, I don't think you'll be disappointed. I felt like it was pretty good entertainment.

You also get to see Amy Smart. I think she is still very, very hot! Just check out a couple of screen shots from the movie below. There is also one scene where Statham and Smart's characters have a bit of public display of sex. It's not gratuitous but you do get a boob shot. So, I consider it a win.

  

  

The things you see in the bubble

So, I live near a very rich-y area. I made a run to the local Blockbuster to get some movies. This little punk kid and his friend had been walking around the store looking for something, his friend talking on a cellphone the whole time to some girl. I know this because I can hear her talking when he walks by.

About 20-30 minutes after perusing the selection, I decide on a few movies and head to the check out. The punk kid is in front of me, although technically he cut but I let it slide. He starts talking to the counter clerk and I guess he's checking out something but she tells him he has a fee on his account. She calls a manager to explain his account status. Turns out he had some games out past their due date and past the extended time to return it so he has to pay the remaining amount less the rental fees of what they are worth. He was courteous about it and was quick to say that's fine and he'll pay for it. He reaches into his pocket, pulls out his wallet, thumbs inside it and takes out a fifty dollar bill. The amazing thing about this situation is the kid is probably a high school kid and probably hasn't worked a day in his life to earn his money from good, honest employment.

Anyway, the manager tells the kid that he doesn't have to pay for the tab because his parents came in and paid for him. And what he needs to do is just pick up the games because he owns them now.

Finally, his annoyingly chatty friend walks up to him and says, "Dude, your phone just went dead!" He heads towards his friend at the counter and hands him the dead phone. It's a freaking Blackjack. Must be nice to be a spoiled rich kid!

The squirrel is in Hell!

This is the squirrel that has been in my attic. We think it is a she because it looks pregnant.

We had the hole it used to enter the attic patched with thin metal coverings to prevent it from getting back into the attic.  For about two weeks now, it's been trying to claw and chew its way back into the attic. Everyday I'd come out the door in the morning and it'd take off scurrying up the roof. I'd come home for lunch and it is there again. Day after day, I'd see this damn squirrel.

Now that it's cold and rainy, this squirrel sits on the window sill off the front porch. It'll run if someone comes out the front door but it'll come back. I think it's trying to stay warm. Better out there than in my attic!

The picture is a little blurry because I had to take it through the little glass window in my door and the screen door to keep this little bugger from running off before I got a snapshot.

Trash without the trailer

This damn wickedly cold and rainy weather is putting a damper on my "husbandly" duties.

My damn wife is piling up on the trash. I have no freaking idea how she(we) can collect this amount of trash in a matter of a day and a half. The bag in the can I just put in there this morning.

Boy, do I look forward to the time we can launch our garbage into space. Those "save the earth" people can't bitch about littering in space, can they? In fact, we could launch shit into the stratosphere, have it re-enter earth's atmosphere and it incinerates. Global trash and litter problem solved!

Don't nobody be stealing my effing idea!

Pepsi vs Coca Cola

How many fans of Coca Cola or Pepsi would be pissed at this?

And the floods rains come washing in

The best thing about living in DFW, Texas is the "wonderful" weather. It's been sunny and about 55-60 degrees all week and then suddenly it is rainy and 39 with possibility of worse freezing weather Saturday and Sunday. What a glorious three-day weekend!

This is what my backyard looks like and the raining hasn't let up yet!

Symbolic or just dumb luck

City Garage sign...maybe this was a premonition as three days later my serpentine belt fell off in the flooding rains just down the block from my house. I had to spend two hours trying to figure out how to put it back on in 36 degree rainy, windy weather. It was not a fun way to spend my Friday night.

Dilbert strip of the day 01/11/2007

This is my life. Everyone asks for one thing but then once you get started they want/expect more. I think I should open my own computer tech business and charge by the question as well as the job!




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Email humor 01/11/2007

In case you were wondering what it was like on Monday morning when Austin got the dead bird announcement....

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Saddam's Cat

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The Spanish Computer

A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

"House" for instance, is feminine: "la casa."

"Pencil," however, is masculine: "el lapiz."

A student asked, "What gender is a 'computer'?"

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether "computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun.

Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computadora"), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

(THIS GETS BETTER!)

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ("el computador"), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The women won.

Public storage

I'm amazed at the incredible amounts of public storage facilities. With options of climate-controlled and non-climate-controlled, who wouldn't want to store little Betsy's antique doll house or little Timmy's first bike.

It's amazing that people who have too much junk to begin with are willing to store junk in their house, garage, or outdoor storage AND then have even more in a 12 x 12 or bigger storage facility down the street.

Now, I know I am somewhat of a pack rat but I keep mostly necessary things like computer parts or accessories that I never know when I may need it. I used to anyway. This weekend I trashed a whole lot of stuff but it was tough to let it go. Mainly for instance I had a 17 inch and 19 inch monitor in the garage. I have a 15" and 17" LCDs I'm using but what if one of them burned up or just quit working. It costs like $200 for a good replacement LCD monitor but if I still had the 17" or 19" CRTs I would have a quick, easy and cheap replacement. I also had some spare CAT cables, phone lines, network adapters, power plugs...you name it I probably had two or more.

It's also cost productive for me. As a all-around computer help technician (home-based), I could have a spare network adapter that some client needed. I use a spare one I have (brand new or barely used) and charge them a discounted price. It solves their problem, saves me time from traveling to the computer store and makes me instant profit as it's something I already had in stock. All good times!

Anyway, something to prove that public storage is either a crazy phenomenon OR a genius way to make the easiest money is the state of Missouri. On my recent jaunt through Missouri, although it was there last year and the year before, I think it's between either Springfield or Joplin, and St Louis there is a stretch of highway with not much industrialization. The most you see is billboards advertising the Branson shows or some caverns to see (I think I recall one billboard state that Missouri is the most cavernous state). There are no business or residential areas save for maybe a few houses in the general mile radius. But what do they have sitting in this area on the side of the highway??? A self-storage facility (non-climate controlled) with about forty doors. Truly amazing and weird at the same time.

Oh well. I'm done.

Email (not humor) 01/10/2007

I'm told that there is a huge rock near a gravel pit on Hwy.25 in rural Iowa. For generations, kids have painted slogans, names, and obscenities on this rock, changing its character many times. A few months back, the rock received its latest paint job, and since then it has been left completely undisturbed. It's quite an impressive sight. Be sure to scroll down and check out the multiple photos (all angles) of the rock. I thought the flag was draped over the rock, but it's not. It's actually painted on the rock too.

The Dallas Stars suck ass!

If the Dallas Stars keep playing like this and continue to have shitty goaltending from Marty "The Chokester" Turco, then we might as well start watching the Texas Rangers. At least we know the Rangers won't lead us on thinking they are a good team.


In their defense though, I was shocked to see the Stars at 5-4. They were down 4-1 after the first period. To come back to 5-4 was an amazing feat, for sure, but to choke it in the last twenty seconds is crap.

People will make fun of Stephan's miss on the net but if you watched them or might be able to see on this video, it hits a rough patch of ice and it flips over his stick. He should have shot it sooner and there wouldn't have been a problem.

Oh well!

Email humor 01/02/2007

Santa's Helpers...

Click here for the photo...it's not exactly PG13.

Celebration of Lights - a campus tradition

 

 

My new Schwinn mountain bike

The wife gave me a new bicycle for Christmas. I think I may have posted about my last one being stolen. If not, it was. Why anyone would want to steal my $59.99-Kmart special-borrowed-from-brother is beyond me. I think I also previously mentioned that someone stole the seat off it before someone else stole the whole bike. The seat I had on there though was from my wife's mountain bike that I bought her about a year ago. The seat was probably worth more than the Kmart special in its entirety.

Anyway, I got it the afternoon of Christmas Eve. We had plans that evening and then we had to hang with the wife's family from 12-4 on Christmas day. After that, we headed on our long ass jaunt to Illinois.

Today was the first time I was able to ride my new toy. I aired the tires, adjusted the seat and brakes and took it for a quick five minute spin around the block. It feels a little awkward to ride compared to the Kmart special but I think it may be because of the dual shocks on the new bike versus a stiffer street-style bike that was stolen. The shocks make the ride a little smoother if not somewhat "cushiony" if that's a word. Oh yeah, the new ride also has brakes that work. I had to stick my foot in the tire to slow or stop myself with the other bike. It's nice to not to have to do that anymore.

Anyhow, I know I'm a little freaky but I had to take some pictures of the new ride. The last time I had a new bike I was twelve years old and it was about twenty pounds heavier than this one. I think I'll enjoy this one as much and as long as I can.

This should keep you warm on a cold winter's day/night

I'm a sucker for a nice, tan ass! Especially since there aren't ANY nice, tan or even attractive asses in Springfield, Illinois. Enjoy!

Pipes on a roof