Humor from my coworker's "An Insult a Day" calendar...
So you're acting now, you're in a vampire movie, yes? That's good. Finally a role that requires you to suck.
-- Triumph the Insult Comic Dog to singer Jon Bon Jovi
You can't find any true closeness in Hollywood, because everybody does the fake closeness so well.
-- writer/actress Carrie Fisher
According to Time magazine, Christina Aguilera's music is being used down in Guantanamo Bay to torture prisoners. You know, I can't help thinking if it were only John Tesh the war on terror could have been over so much quicker.
-- talk show host Jay Leno
My wife isn't too smart. She has to reach into her bra to count to two.
-- comedian Rodney Dangerfield
An added joke from my friend...
Q: Do you know why black people don't use aspirin?
A: Because they are white and they work.
-- undisclosed friend
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