Artifacts (2007)

A friend and coworker of mine came into the office today with some movies she had put on and received from her online Blockbuster queue and wanted to know if I would like to watch them. I'll get to the other one once I watch it but the first one I watched is called Artifacts (2007) (Blockbuster spells it this way but IMDB spells it Artefacts).

Anyway, the previews should have been an indication for what was to come. The previews were pretty much "under $30k" movies (if not, they spent too much money) except for one or two (one I remember off the top of my head was Bangkok Dangerous). The other previews look like they'll be fairly lame movies but with the addition of the hot, lead female role getting occasionally (frequently would be better) naked they could be acceptable to suffer through. :-P

Unfortunately, this movie did not provide that added interest of female nudity. In fact, it didn't even really explain what the hell the story was or how it came about. But as the guy at the end says, "We'll meet again. I promise." He lied. If this movie was released in 2007 and it is now 2010. I really don't think we are going to meet again.

It's sad really that they didn't share the bareness of the lead female or even one or two of the supporting female roles. The lead was very attractive and had a good figure. Female victims 1 and 2 weren't too bad either and neither of them glorified us with so much as a cleavage shot.

In my book, if your story line and plot suck or is fairly non-existent, you supplement it with gratuitous female nudity (for the male viewers as the female viewers wouldn't even have picked the movie off the shelf) and a male could overlook the short-sighted writing skills.

Yes, I labored through the movie. Yes, I watched it from 00:00:01 to 01:30:00 or however long it was. I held on for the hope that I'd get a boob shot or something but alas, I was left surfing Facebook while the movie progressed into nothingness.

I would have never seen this movie had it not been for my coworker. In fact, she had no idea why she put it in her queue and she didn't even watch it. See, women are smarter than men.