I lack concentration and focus...DUH!

I just got finished playing tennis against a guy I should beat with ease. He's a nice guy and a recently met "friend" so I don't want to annihilate him but I still should win. Anyhow, I lost (literally I lost it, he didn't win it) 6-0, 6-2, 6-4. Yea! for me losing!

The first time we played I didn't know what to expect from his play. I was so jazzed and amped up that I kicked the shit out of him 6-1, 6-2, 6-4. I just kept taking it to him and playing my natural game of "kicking ass" except in the last set. I thought I'd give him a glimmer of hope and snag it away.

The next time we played I didn't feel like I needed to try so hard and lost 6-1, 6-3, 7-7 — we didn't complete the 3rd set because someone had the court next but I started to focus off and on during that set. My thoughts and mind wanted to win but my subconscious and body wouldn't let me. I was missing things just barely...like just short, just long. Out of something say like 100 points he actually probably won 15. The other 85 I handed to him on a silver fucking platter.

The third time we played we split sets: 6-4 him and 7-5 me. Our wives were watching a little in the first set so I didn't want to let him cream me. In the second set I was down like 5-3 when a neighbor guy showed up to watch. He's been hitting with the guy I was playing so I couldn't let him see me lose the set. I picked up the pace and accuracy of my serve which then he couldn't return well if at all. I hit my shots with better precision too. Anyway, while the other neighbor guy watched I came back and took that set at the score I said 7-5. Then the wives wanted to hit which was for just a short time because the friend's wife wacked the neighbor guy's youngest in the face while he was riding his Razor on the courts when he wasn't supposed to be. Anyway, that was the end of that day.

I don't know why but if I don't feel like I am pressured then I really don't try hard or care to win. I'm damaged goods. It's those fucking old guys I'm used to playing with. I don't feel like kicking a 65-yr-old's ass so I just jack around. I've done it for so long that now it's just a natural thing for me...to be a fuck up! LOL!

I'm going to have to work on this attitude...an "I must win" attitude. Maybe I should bring people I want to "impress" which will make me play more seriously. I don't know. Once damaged goods always damaged goods, right?

Oh well! End of random self-deprecating post.

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