I lack concentration and focus...DUH!

I just got finished playing tennis against a guy I should beat with ease. He's a nice guy and a recently met "friend" so I don't want to annihilate him but I still should win. Anyhow, I lost (literally I lost it, he didn't win it) 6-0, 6-2, 6-4. Yea! for me losing!

The first time we played I didn't know what to expect from his play. I was so jazzed and amped up that I kicked the shit out of him 6-1, 6-2, 6-4. I just kept taking it to him and playing my natural game of "kicking ass" except in the last set. I thought I'd give him a glimmer of hope and snag it away.

The next time we played I didn't feel like I needed to try so hard and lost 6-1, 6-3, 7-7 — we didn't complete the 3rd set because someone had the court next but I started to focus off and on during that set. My thoughts and mind wanted to win but my subconscious and body wouldn't let me. I was missing things just barely...like just short, just long. Out of something say like 100 points he actually probably won 15. The other 85 I handed to him on a silver fucking platter.

The third time we played we split sets: 6-4 him and 7-5 me. Our wives were watching a little in the first set so I didn't want to let him cream me. In the second set I was down like 5-3 when a neighbor guy showed up to watch. He's been hitting with the guy I was playing so I couldn't let him see me lose the set. I picked up the pace and accuracy of my serve which then he couldn't return well if at all. I hit my shots with better precision too. Anyway, while the other neighbor guy watched I came back and took that set at the score I said 7-5. Then the wives wanted to hit which was for just a short time because the friend's wife wacked the neighbor guy's youngest in the face while he was riding his Razor on the courts when he wasn't supposed to be. Anyway, that was the end of that day.

I don't know why but if I don't feel like I am pressured then I really don't try hard or care to win. I'm damaged goods. It's those fucking old guys I'm used to playing with. I don't feel like kicking a 65-yr-old's ass so I just jack around. I've done it for so long that now it's just a natural thing for me...to be a fuck up! LOL!

I'm going to have to work on this attitude...an "I must win" attitude. Maybe I should bring people I want to "impress" which will make me play more seriously. I don't know. Once damaged goods always damaged goods, right?

Oh well! End of random self-deprecating post.

Sent on the Super Jay Network from Super Jay's BlackBerry®

Email humor 04/14/2010

ECONOMIC STIMULUS

This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using a Q & A format:

Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the government get this money ?
A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen of it.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?
A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka.

* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.

* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India, Taiwan or China.

* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala.

* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea.

* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan.

* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

Instead, keep the money in America by:

1) Spending it at yard sales, or
2) Going to ball games, or
3) Spending it on prostitutes, or
4) Beer or
5) Tattoos.

(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S.)

Conclusion:

Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day !

No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.

---

Now You Know And Knowing Is Half The Battle!

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Email humor 04/07/2010

Mike Modano's final season?

They had a great graphic on the Dallas Stars web page today in honor of Mike Modano. Pretty fucking awesome!

I remember when the Minnesota North Stars moved to Dallas. It was some great times for me, my friends and family. Those were the days of the $8 nose bleed seats in Reunion Arena. I took eight people to watch a game for the price of what one ticket cost nowadays. Good times.

I just finished watching tonight's Stars versus Ducks game. It was a pretty good albeit meaningless for post-season play game. Modano had a fire to him that I hadn't seen in at least a year or two. Flashes of the greatness was grand to see once again if just for a brief moment.

It was a good win and the courtesy and appreciation by the fans and the opponents was what Modano, and Lehtinen, brought to the game.

I must have missed the official announcement but happy retiring Mo. If Lehtinen doesn't resign with the Stars, happy trails Letty. As far as Turco, no disrespect but goodbye and good riddance.

It's weird but I feel like a friend is moving, leaving or died. Weird!

In the news 03/29/2010

I saw in an article today at Yahoo!News with the following headline:

Naked Erykah Badu video at Kennedy site stirs controversy

Click for article while it lasts.

I won't spend a lot of time on it but I don't think what Erykah Badu was appropriate.

It's not how she or her people didn't get the proper permits to film. It's not how she basically disrespected the site of the Kennedy assassination.

My problem with what she did is she stripped naked when there were children present. About 2:55 in the video here, you can see Erykah passes by a young boy, a very young girl and two adults I'll assume are their parents. The mother looks at Erykah and kind of pulls back on her daughter who is trying to enjoy the nice day, sightseeing. The mother then kind of pulls back on the son. She's not in good focus but it looks like the mother gives one of those "what-in-the-hell-is-going-on" looks.

Anyway, the song is just okay in my opinion. I don't know what she was really trying to say other than look how I can offend children. Good protesters don't offend or involve children. To me, that's where you lose all respect for whatever message you are trying to convey.

Baby...a Justin Bieber song

My kids were watching Nick's Kid's Choice Awards this weekend. I walked in on Justin Bieber's performance of "Baby."

For me personally, I wasn't impressed. It has nothing to do with his age. It had more to do with the annoying repetitiveness of the song. It's not his fault because that seems to be all the rage: see songs by the Black Eyed Peas, Rihanna, Beyonce, or many other four-phrase-hit-wonder bands. The RIAA blames file-sharing for the downfall of the CD but they should actually take a personal inventory on how many "real" and "good" artists they have these days. I can personally listen to a song just for the beat for maybe 10-20 times and then the words start to creep in to my mind and I begin thinking, "Why the hell do I like this song again?" About that time is when the interest for that song wanes and I move on...in actual time, that's probably 3-7 days. Done!

Anyway, I give Justin props for talent. I don't mean his lyrical ability (if he actually writes his songs). I mean according to his Wiki he taught himself how to play piano, guitar, drums and trumpet. That's talent. His voice isn't bad but for the repetitive lyrics and the bullshit "love" songs from a kid that's 16 years old, I find it hard to get into his music.

Now, yes, I am not in his target demographic...WAY above it...but I would hope our kids have a better understanding and love of music than crap like this. I know. I know. They don't quite have that grasp but I can hope.

Anyway, if you get a chance to Google his performance, you will be sorely disappointed as was I. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that he's just another white boy that wants to be "black" too? (I tend not to care what the PC term should be). Yeah, he kept pulling up his "baggy" pants during his performance...and that was pointed out by my oldest!

The Trinity River Project

I went to lunch with my niece last Friday. We hadn't seen each other in some time even though she works less than a block away from me in another campus building.

Yeah, that's the kind of family I have. I help them out. They move on. I don't hear from them again until they need help again. Luckily for this niece, the help I've provided her has not been monetary and she hasn't been ungrateful. Although she hasn't called or come by in a few months, she didn't expect anything from me other than what I provided, she was totally embarrassed by her situation and she was thanking and thankful for us on a daily basis. That's what I expect. I would like a little more than sporadic contact but that's something I can overlook since she was trying to work on her situation.

Anyway, we were driving to Chipotle and she made the comment about driving across the bridge over the Trinity River near downtown Dallas (on I35, I think). I think her exact comment was, "I could smell the water while I was driving over it and it smelled like shit!"

I responded, "And they want to 'beautify' this area into a park and shit!? WTF ever!"

Anyway, I thought it was funny to once again hear the "public-at-large's" opinion on what the city of Dallas think is a necessary thing. It almost is like Dallas is trying to be like Fort Worth's area of I30 and University. I don't think that's going to happen though.

Nine Lives (2002)

Nine Lives (2002). I just watched this movie last night on Hulu. You can check it out here, really you want to...NOT!

I really didn't expect too much out of the movie, especially since it had Paris Hilton in it, but I did have hopes of gratuitous nudity to make up for a shitty movie. I was very disappointed.

Without nudity, the story line was dumb and previously done. The cinematography was lame. The acting was the worst. But I sat through the whole thing. I have to. It's one of those things that I just can't leave a movie incomplete. I think out of the 100s of movies I've seen that there is probably only 1-2 if any at all that I could not, did not watch in its entirety.

FINAL VERDICT: If you like to torture yourself such as I, then have a go at it. It's free torture. Otherwise, you can pass and revel in the knowledge that I suffer through these shitty movies so you don't have to.

Dennis Hopper needs better lawyers

Saw an article online today about Dennis Hopper and his failing (failed) health. I feel for the guy. I liked him in many movies and hated him in others.

What caught my attention though was the following:

Last month, a judge ruled that Mrs Hopper must stay at least 10ft (3m) away from her husband after the actor said he wanted to eliminate unnecessary stress.

Really? What the hell kind of safety boundary is 10 feet!?

Sometimes (more often than not) the courts are just plain stupid!

Click here for article while it lasts.

Procrastination pays off!

My theory of "if you procrastinate and avoid studying/working until the last moment, then you can still be successful" has turned out another positive experiment.

I previously posted here about a paper that I should have written over my spring break but didn't. I thought about doing it the weekend before returning to class but didn't. I thought about doing it the Monday or Tuesday before class (which is on Thursday) but didn't. However, I did start it, albeit briefly, at 8:15am Wednesday - the day before it was due. I thought about going to the library after work to further work on it without being distracted because home is full of distractions but didn't. I figured that I would discipline myself to do it at my desk upstairs and avoid all distractions.

I got home about 4:30pm. I decided to postpone continuing on it until 7pm at the latest. I figured I had all the materials I needed for the research. I just needed to put it all down in a meaningful flow on no more than six pages. About 5:45pm, I decided to go ahead and start. Why procrastinate further and keep myself up later than I really want to.

I was disciplined and I finished about 9:45pm. I ended up with almost seven pages exactly but it could have been dwindled to six if I took out a table I had to insert but was needed. I did a quick reread to make sure I covered everything and it sounded logical in form. I made some edits but then I decided that I wasn't going to be too picky on it as it wasn't like a literature paper. I emailed it to myself so I could print two copies of it at work the next morning.

Stupid me started browsing Facebook and then I started surfing porn...what, it helps me relax and decompress...LOL. Before I knew it, the time was like 11:30pm. I finally went to bed, relaxed knowing that I was done with my paper and had no other worries in regards to my school for the next few days. Good times.

Oh yeah, the point of the post, proving my theory.

I got my paper back yesterday. Out of a possible 80 points, I got...wait for it...wait...wait...wait...77 points. Woohoo! Eat that you people that do their work early! Ha! I think the only thing my professor didn't like about my paper was I didn't use headings for the different sections we were required to write about. Personally, I thought it took away from the look and flow of the paper which is why I didn't do it. I did make sure my flow went in order of his requirements in the description of the paper but I guess he wanted to be able to quickly visually see it instead of just feeling the flow.

Next up, another "crit" (photography speak for a critique) on April 7^th for my B&W photography class. A final research paper and group presentation coming up for my management course. The ones for the management course will be done early(ier) versus later. I can't procrastinate too much on those especially when the presentation involves a partner.

Have I mentioned how I hate school!?

Jonesing for another hand gun

I'm thinking about purchasing another pistol for the small, very small, one, collection of mine. I really want to stick with the 9MM ammunition size. That way I don't have to buy more than one size. I already have my 9MM Beretta so matching ammo for the new one would be perfecto.

I've looked at a few sites for critiques and such but have only looked at Academy Sports and Outdoors for pricing, for now. I prefer a local versus Internet dealer so I can actually go touch and feel the piece as well as not feel like I'm going to get suckered from an online purchase. Besides, I know how much paper work I'd have to fill out and I really don't know how that would be done via the Internet. I'm an immediate gratification kind of guy when it comes to my "toys" so purchasing and waiting for an online product is not my ideal plan.

These are the pistolas I have taken a gander at: a Taurus PT-92 for $429.99, a Taurus 24/7 9MM SS for $379.99, and a Smith & Wesson Sigma 9MM for $319.99 at Academy Sports with their photos in respective order below.



I really like the look of the Taurus PT-92. It's modeled after the Beretta and it is a body style I really like. It has smooth lines compared to the others. I did read that the gun shoots well as is said the same for the 24/7 SS. The S&W Sigma 9MM was rated pretty highly by a few gun "experts" but it doesn't look as "pretty" to me as the other two. The Sigma and the 24/7 are rated better for concealed but it's a mute for point for me right now as I don't have my CHL just yet. I'm planning on getting it but it cost a good chunk of change and I really don't know how comfortable the wife and/or kids would be if they knew Daddy was carrying the heat.

Anyway, these will probably be shelved as "things Jay wants but probably won't get for some time" along with my PS3 Slim, Pontoon and/or Waverunner, and other things.

Ah, to win the Texas Lotto...but I'd have to actually play, huh!?

Archer on F/X

Occasionally I've seen this show, Archer, on the F/X channel. I don't know its regular broadcast day and time but I do know that the short scenes I've randomly seen are funny as shit! I didn't make it a point to find out so I could watch it regularly because already don't have the time to watch the shows I currently TiVo on a consistent basis.

You can see the 1^st six episodes of the 1^st season on Hulu here. Or you can see them on the F/X website.

I've been watching them at work. YES, at work! Because my boss came to me earlier this afternoon and asked me, "Have you ever heard of this show on F/X called 'Archer'?" I thought it was funny how I just saw the end of an episode the night before last and said, "Why yes, I have. And it's hilarious." She continued to say that a friend of hers wanted her to watch it to see if she was crazy for thinking it was funny. Her friend didn't know if it was because her husband found it so hysterical and she was amused by his response or if she really and truly thought it was funny herself.

I told my boss that it is really kind of guy slapstick humor but she likes that sort of thing (she liked The Hangover, Super Bad, and such stupid-but-funny movies like these) so she would probably find it funny.

I've only gotten to the start of episode three because of freaking work interruptions but I'm okay with that as I know I can watch them online...for now.

So, check it out. See how you like it. Let the good folks at Absent-Minded Jay know what you think.

Agassi versus Sampras - The Boo Hoo Name Calling Saga

So there's some new-old rivalry talk going on about Andre Agassi and Pete Sampras. You can see a video of what sparked it here and the corresponding article here and a short one here where Sampras says he's "saddened by Andre's comments." Boo fucking hoo!

I think people are blowing this out of proportion. Pete made a jab at Andre with the pigeon-toe walk and he asked Andre if he had a response and kind of goaded him into it. They both have egos. Just because Andre tends to be more audible about his, doesn't mean Pete hasn't done or thought the same.

Andre came up with the first thing that came to his mind...the bad tipper. It was a little over-the-top only in the sense that it really had nothing to do with Pete's on-court persona. Pete made fun of Andre's walk that he does on court, during matches. Tipping or lack of happens before or after the matches.

Misplaced jab? More than slightly but yes. Out of line? Not really. Both were very funny albeit a little personal. In my opinion it came down to how he responded and I think Pete got the best and final jab in with the near-headshot-rocket service that Agassi almost didn't dodge.

The media should let it go. Fans should comment once and then let it go.

We remember "celebrities" for certain things like their personality, their persona, their performance, their clothes, or attitude on and off their "stage."

Let it go people! Let it go!

And that's all I got to say about that.