...for a future post — beware long post ahead.
I went to lunch with an old friend and he asked me a question I didn't really expect.
First some background on the friend. I've known said friend for about twenty years. His name is Shawn. We are about a year apart in age. We've known each other since junior high school although we didn't become really good friends until after he graduated. We had a mutual friend, Keith, that they graduated together and we were really good friends with and eventually we become really good friends as well. Keith went into the Marines shortly after graduation. Shawn lived in a hell hole with his step-dad while attending roughly two years at TCU. He moved into my parents house while I was still living there and then we ended up moving out together into our first apartment. Keith eventually got married a few years after being in the Marines. We were both in this Keith's wedding - I was the best man Shawn was a groom's man.
I had a long-term girlfriend since the Halloween after my graduation. She was a sophomore when I was a senior but we didn't actually start dating dating until after I graduated and pursued her the following year. Shawn was a senior when she was a sophomore. They kind of got to know each other better since I was friends with Shawn and my girlfriend and eventual wife was in choir with Shawn so they became friends as well.
Shawn had some other close friends that he hung out with and so did I while also having the closer mutual friends such as Keith. Shawn was a quiet, goofy guy. He isn't ugly but he's not eye-catching either. He always said that if a girl could get past his looks and he had the chance to talk with her and she got to know his personality that they'd find out what a great guy he was. Well, things didn't always work out like he planned. He'd go to parties with his other friends - I mean they were my friends too but not close friends, just friends that I knew from high school and got to know better as Shawn and I became better friends. Anyway, they'd go to drunken-fest parties with the intentions to get drunk and laid. The first was typically occurred more often than the latter. I didn't drink plus I had the girlfriend alreay and was completely content with hanging out with her at the apartment. Occasionally, Shawn would come home with stories about his party escapades. The time he almost shagged a black girl he was giving a glorious massage too while she was on her belly topless but he struck out. We've also had the luck of hearing about the pity shags he's had as well. Who was getting pitied - him or her - is the question but nonetheless he was happy to get some!
Over the years, I had to move back home because of finances and he got some interesting roommates with some high school buddies and his brother. In one apartment there was like 4 guys and a girl sharing a two bedroom, two bath apartment. He wasn't happy and we tried to help him get out of the crappy situation.
The girlfriend and I eventually moved in together during her junior year of college. We got an apartment in the same complex Shawn and I had shared our second "bachelor" pad in.
Shawn had moved to share an apartment with a girl he had been shagging for a while. It was a decent relationship for a while but she was a major whore and ended up sleeping with Shawn's very good friend Alan in the hot tub by the pool a few times and then in the apartment while Shawn was at work. They worked different hours so they didn't see too much of each other after the first few months or so of the relationship. Of course, Shawn didn't find out about these escapades for many years to come when out of the blue one day, Alan came clean for some reason. Who knows why because you'd have to know Alan to understand he screws anything that moves and screws over anyone he knows. Anyway, I helped Shawn move out one day while this girl was at work and he moved into his own apartment. For the first time, he had an apartment all to himself.
Shawn's one bedroom was right around the corner from our two bedroom. We worked about half a mile from each other so he and I would car pool to and from work. Basically, I drove my vehicle most of the time because Shawn drove a falling apart Volkswagen Beetle. In the morning, I drove my Jeep, swung by his apartment, dropped him off a work and then went on to my office. In the afternoon, I left the office, swung by his work, dropped him off at his apartment and then went to mine. I look back now and I think I have always done more in this friendship! LOL!
Eventually, Shawn moved in with us into another two bedroom apartment in the same complex. It was financial more feasible for all of us. We shared this apartment for some time and then we started thinking that as much as we were paying in rent to an apartment we could rent a house. We started looking around for a rental house. You'd be amazed at how much some people want for rent in their shithole of a house! It baffled me.
In October of 1995, the girlfriend and I got married. People thought it was weird that we still were planning on our current living arrangement with Shawn. Why would we change? I mean we weren't rich like some people so the extra person to split the rent was a bonus for us. Besides, we had been together for so long that we were used to it.
Shortly after marriage—a few months or more—we found a rent house in Hurst, Texas. It was a three bedroom, two full bath, den, living, two car garage and big back and front yards. We were living the "high life".
In 1996, my wife helped Shawn get a job at the campus he and I work at now. She had worked there since her freshman year of college and eventually got a full-time job there which helped pay for her final two years of school. Anyhow, she helped him get out of a shit hole job and life - he got laid off from his job we used to car pool to and from and then he was working in some warehouse/delivery place that he hated but knew he had to make money so dealt with it.
A year later in 1997, my wife and I had our first child. Shawn was as excited as we were and he always thought he was going to be the godfather. Little did he know I already had sensed some change in attitude from him regarding his personality, living situation and all. So, I never offered because I just had this feeling of things going awry. A few months after working at the college, he was sort of making new friends and hanging out in the "college" aura that he thought he loved and missed so much. If Shawn didn't have a girl and he never really found that "it" girl he was wanting to party and drink with the college crowd to scope the potentials. Although, what kind of girl would he expect to find going to bars, concerts, raves and the like. All you find out those places are hos and one-night stands. But he wouldn't listen to anyone. Guided by his pecker, I guess.
A few months after our first was born, Shawn came to tell us that he wanted to move out. He felt he wanted to move closer to his work - the college campus in Dallas. All I heard was "I'm fucking you over because I feel like I need to be in the college crowd." What a thought for a 25 year old (at the time), huh? I didn't expect him to live with us forever but I also know that he agreed to hang with us for a while after the baby was born.
So, basically he screwed us. Our rent was like $750 month plus utilities. I had a car payment of $168/mo with insurance running about $175/mo. I was making like $26K/year. My wife was working and making about $18-$20K/year. She had student loan payments. I had credit card payments and we had expenses from the new baby.
Luckily for Shawn, his brother, Bryan, was getting out of the Navy and they ended up living together in a two bedroom on-campus apartment. Before this time, Shawn would seem to live vicariously through the escapades of his other friends and brother. He would tell about how they would pick up random chicks (whores) and sleep with them that night or the next and then move onto the next one. Shawn was more quiet and reserved although all of us men wouldn't enjoy the occasional meaningless sex. I think this moving to the college campus was an attempt for him to find that "gigolo-esque" lifestyle he longed for. It didn't happen!
We were still pretty good friends and we would go out to his apartment in Dallas or he would come to our house in Hurst and eventually our house my parents bought next door to them in Euless, although the times where he'd come out started becoming few and far between. He and I started learning to rollerblade back in like '92 or thereabouts and we continued to find venues to play pickup roller hockey. We had set aside Tuesdays and Thursdays and then sometimes Mondays and Wednesdays to play. Eventually we found a free outdoor rink to play at in Bedford but it would depend on how the weather was the day or so before and the day of. It wasn't maintained so if it rained heavily the day before it typically wasn't dry enough to play the next day.
Anyway, point is he started bailing on this activity we had set aside to do together along with the weekly tennis on Saturday mornings. He bailed on the Saturday morning tennis way before the roller hockey, mainly because he usually had to work late and then later it was because he was the designated driver for his eventual girlfriend...
(post to continue here...)
I went to lunch with an old friend and he asked me a question I didn't really expect.
First some background on the friend. I've known said friend for about twenty years. His name is Shawn. We are about a year apart in age. We've known each other since junior high school although we didn't become really good friends until after he graduated. We had a mutual friend, Keith, that they graduated together and we were really good friends with and eventually we become really good friends as well. Keith went into the Marines shortly after graduation. Shawn lived in a hell hole with his step-dad while attending roughly two years at TCU. He moved into my parents house while I was still living there and then we ended up moving out together into our first apartment. Keith eventually got married a few years after being in the Marines. We were both in this Keith's wedding - I was the best man Shawn was a groom's man.
I had a long-term girlfriend since the Halloween after my graduation. She was a sophomore when I was a senior but we didn't actually start dating dating until after I graduated and pursued her the following year. Shawn was a senior when she was a sophomore. They kind of got to know each other better since I was friends with Shawn and my girlfriend and eventual wife was in choir with Shawn so they became friends as well.
Shawn had some other close friends that he hung out with and so did I while also having the closer mutual friends such as Keith. Shawn was a quiet, goofy guy. He isn't ugly but he's not eye-catching either. He always said that if a girl could get past his looks and he had the chance to talk with her and she got to know his personality that they'd find out what a great guy he was. Well, things didn't always work out like he planned. He'd go to parties with his other friends - I mean they were my friends too but not close friends, just friends that I knew from high school and got to know better as Shawn and I became better friends. Anyway, they'd go to drunken-fest parties with the intentions to get drunk and laid. The first was typically occurred more often than the latter. I didn't drink plus I had the girlfriend alreay and was completely content with hanging out with her at the apartment. Occasionally, Shawn would come home with stories about his party escapades. The time he almost shagged a black girl he was giving a glorious massage too while she was on her belly topless but he struck out. We've also had the luck of hearing about the pity shags he's had as well. Who was getting pitied - him or her - is the question but nonetheless he was happy to get some!
Over the years, I had to move back home because of finances and he got some interesting roommates with some high school buddies and his brother. In one apartment there was like 4 guys and a girl sharing a two bedroom, two bath apartment. He wasn't happy and we tried to help him get out of the crappy situation.
The girlfriend and I eventually moved in together during her junior year of college. We got an apartment in the same complex Shawn and I had shared our second "bachelor" pad in.
Shawn had moved to share an apartment with a girl he had been shagging for a while. It was a decent relationship for a while but she was a major whore and ended up sleeping with Shawn's very good friend Alan in the hot tub by the pool a few times and then in the apartment while Shawn was at work. They worked different hours so they didn't see too much of each other after the first few months or so of the relationship. Of course, Shawn didn't find out about these escapades for many years to come when out of the blue one day, Alan came clean for some reason. Who knows why because you'd have to know Alan to understand he screws anything that moves and screws over anyone he knows. Anyway, I helped Shawn move out one day while this girl was at work and he moved into his own apartment. For the first time, he had an apartment all to himself.
Shawn's one bedroom was right around the corner from our two bedroom. We worked about half a mile from each other so he and I would car pool to and from work. Basically, I drove my vehicle most of the time because Shawn drove a falling apart Volkswagen Beetle. In the morning, I drove my Jeep, swung by his apartment, dropped him off a work and then went on to my office. In the afternoon, I left the office, swung by his work, dropped him off at his apartment and then went to mine. I look back now and I think I have always done more in this friendship! LOL!
Eventually, Shawn moved in with us into another two bedroom apartment in the same complex. It was financial more feasible for all of us. We shared this apartment for some time and then we started thinking that as much as we were paying in rent to an apartment we could rent a house. We started looking around for a rental house. You'd be amazed at how much some people want for rent in their shithole of a house! It baffled me.
In October of 1995, the girlfriend and I got married. People thought it was weird that we still were planning on our current living arrangement with Shawn. Why would we change? I mean we weren't rich like some people so the extra person to split the rent was a bonus for us. Besides, we had been together for so long that we were used to it.
Shortly after marriage—a few months or more—we found a rent house in Hurst, Texas. It was a three bedroom, two full bath, den, living, two car garage and big back and front yards. We were living the "high life".
In 1996, my wife helped Shawn get a job at the campus he and I work at now. She had worked there since her freshman year of college and eventually got a full-time job there which helped pay for her final two years of school. Anyhow, she helped him get out of a shit hole job and life - he got laid off from his job we used to car pool to and from and then he was working in some warehouse/delivery place that he hated but knew he had to make money so dealt with it.
A year later in 1997, my wife and I had our first child. Shawn was as excited as we were and he always thought he was going to be the godfather. Little did he know I already had sensed some change in attitude from him regarding his personality, living situation and all. So, I never offered because I just had this feeling of things going awry. A few months after working at the college, he was sort of making new friends and hanging out in the "college" aura that he thought he loved and missed so much. If Shawn didn't have a girl and he never really found that "it" girl he was wanting to party and drink with the college crowd to scope the potentials. Although, what kind of girl would he expect to find going to bars, concerts, raves and the like. All you find out those places are hos and one-night stands. But he wouldn't listen to anyone. Guided by his pecker, I guess.
A few months after our first was born, Shawn came to tell us that he wanted to move out. He felt he wanted to move closer to his work - the college campus in Dallas. All I heard was "I'm fucking you over because I feel like I need to be in the college crowd." What a thought for a 25 year old (at the time), huh? I didn't expect him to live with us forever but I also know that he agreed to hang with us for a while after the baby was born.
So, basically he screwed us. Our rent was like $750 month plus utilities. I had a car payment of $168/mo with insurance running about $175/mo. I was making like $26K/year. My wife was working and making about $18-$20K/year. She had student loan payments. I had credit card payments and we had expenses from the new baby.
Luckily for Shawn, his brother, Bryan, was getting out of the Navy and they ended up living together in a two bedroom on-campus apartment. Before this time, Shawn would seem to live vicariously through the escapades of his other friends and brother. He would tell about how they would pick up random chicks (whores) and sleep with them that night or the next and then move onto the next one. Shawn was more quiet and reserved although all of us men wouldn't enjoy the occasional meaningless sex. I think this moving to the college campus was an attempt for him to find that "gigolo-esque" lifestyle he longed for. It didn't happen!
We were still pretty good friends and we would go out to his apartment in Dallas or he would come to our house in Hurst and eventually our house my parents bought next door to them in Euless, although the times where he'd come out started becoming few and far between. He and I started learning to rollerblade back in like '92 or thereabouts and we continued to find venues to play pickup roller hockey. We had set aside Tuesdays and Thursdays and then sometimes Mondays and Wednesdays to play. Eventually we found a free outdoor rink to play at in Bedford but it would depend on how the weather was the day or so before and the day of. It wasn't maintained so if it rained heavily the day before it typically wasn't dry enough to play the next day.
Anyway, point is he started bailing on this activity we had set aside to do together along with the weekly tennis on Saturday mornings. He bailed on the Saturday morning tennis way before the roller hockey, mainly because he usually had to work late and then later it was because he was the designated driver for his eventual girlfriend...
(post to continue here...)
No comments:
Post a Comment