Ways to apply for an MBA program

This is going to be simple and brief. I may do an additional post to be a little more in depth and helpful but right now this is all I'm giving you. And yes, I am somewhat of an authority on this as I work for a well-respected, local and widely-known MBA program as the first person to see your application, put it into our administration system, and occasionally am on the receiving end of rants, complaints and general comments by the admissions directors of our various programs. So, in no particular order:

• If available online, fill out the "Request for Information" form AND/OR the MBA application (or any freaking form any where) by using proper upper and lower case form.

  This isn't your general web page fill-in-the-blanks-for-additional-information form. You wouldn't fill in a job application using all upper or all lower case letters, would you? So why would you do so and look like a complete and utter moron on your MBA application? We take note of this and if it was up to me, these stupid fucks would have to resubmit the application. It's especially retarded for domestic applicants. If you were born or have lived/worked in this country for a year or more, there is no excuse for you not knowing how the fuck to us proper upper and lower case!

• If you are applying to a program that has entering classes for August and January (Fall and Spring, respectively - typically a part-time/professional program for those that want to work full-time while going to school), apply for the January/Spring term.

  Particularly if you sucked it hard on the GMAT. The January/Spring term is usually a shorter recruiting period (about three months) versus the August/Fall recruiting period (about 8 months). Especially in harder economic times such as the present, the admissions office usually makes a few concessions to fill a class because it's better to have many butts in the seats than a high-GMAT class of 10-20 people. I've seen some low-GMAT people get in a program and do just fine. They end up doing just as well and sometimes better than higher-GMATs but it's also a nice thing to give people a chance...as long as they don't squander it!

• Study for the GMAT!

  It's quite plain and simple. You studied for tests in high school and undergrad college. You studied for the SAT. You studied the business practices of the job you applied to after receiving your bachelor's degree. So, WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU NOT STUDY FOR THE GMAT?!

  It makes you look like a complete and utter dumb ass when you turn in a GMAT score of 450 or below. I mean I think you get 200 just for signing your freaking name! I have seen people turn in a score of 290-400 (with studying, supposedly) and when they do that we just laugh. Yes, it's mean but what else can you do when someone expresses their ignorance in such a way.

  Sidenote: I haven't taken the GMAT so yes, I make fun of people from afar but I can assure you that I can get at least a 50% without thinking too much which is what a 400 is (a perfect score is 800) but in no way would I submit that score to a reputable school thinking that I have a chance in hell to get in. Anyway, I'll move on.

• If you weren't born in the United States of America or are not a Permanent Resident (of America), you do not select a diversity.

  Sorry internationals. You don't mean anything to the school in the diversity category. You are "international" and that's all you are. No matter where you are, Europe or Asia or the netherworld, you are not considered White, Asian, Hispanic, or Black unless you were born in the good ol' U.S. of A. or are a permanent resident. So save the application processors some time and don't mark it on the application!
  

• Do some serious research before requesting a TOEFL waiver (internationals only).

  Stating, "I have finished my undergrad degree and all classes were taught in English" does not justify a waiver unless you were taking classes in those countries where English is the primary language or a very widely-used second. I know there are few countries that were under British rule and such but times have changed. For example, applicant from India asks for a waiver with the statement I quoted but what he/she doesn't realize is that most of these India schools have these English-speaking teachers speak chopped or broken English. So what you get is sort-of-speakers-of-English teaching in what they call English but not technically being taught in English according to the U.S. of A. (although some domestics could be better taught to speak English for sure, see 'ask' versus 'axe').

  Usually, a waiver is given after the admissions department has had a chance to review the application (GMAT and other things are considered) to help in the proficiency check. Sometimes the AWA of the GMAT is not a good judgment factor so the best way is IF an interview (phone/Skype/face-to-face) is granted, then the admissions person can make a more definite decision.

I guess that's enough for now. I did say, "brief" but I may have gone a little overboard. It's just I see this shit everyday in my job and it amuses and irritates me at the same time to see such ignorance.

I'm sure I'll continue with more later.