Sunday, September 30, 2007

Pictures from our trip to the State Fair of Texas

 

Buffalo


Bear


"Manny" the Mammoth


"Manny" the Mammoth


Mannequin pervert at the fun house


Big Tex


Man with no body (illusion)


New Skytram

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Wendy's disappoints me


They way I see it is if they have to order the fucking menu items in English why the hell can't they understand that they need to "PULL FORWARD" in English!!??

Monday, September 24, 2007

eBay bidders are stupid

As a 'veteran' eBay customer, I am appalled at the stupidity of other bidders. If we'd all just band together to SNIPE instead of BID, someone (maybe you, maybe me) would come away with a very good deal on an eBay item, as long as there wasn't a RESERVE PRICE.

For example, I'm looking into getting the Sony Cybershot T100. I've been watching a few auctions on eBay selling this product. The starting price is like $9.99 and the auction is for 5 days. On the first or second day, some moron bids and then another, showing the current bid price to be, say, $75.00. On day three, someone bids again and now the price is $125.00. It continues to "ending today" status and the bid is up to $275.00. Finally, the auction ends and the moronic bidders have pushed the winning price to $400+ not including shipping and handling of around $20.

The lowest RETAIL price listed on Amazon is $349 + s/h of about $11 + taxes of 8.75% (TX) for a total of about $388. Circuit City down the street had it for about $399 and on sale once for $349.

So, the point of buying on eBay (to get things at a much cheaper price than you would at a local retailer) is lost with the winning bid at $400+. Why in the HELL would you pay more for an item on eBay and have to wait for the product when you can go down the street and get the item for less and play with it TODAY??

The other eBayers do it because they are dumb, stupid, ignorant, retarded...I could go on and on!

So, fellow eBayers, use that little brain you were given and wait...wait...wait...and wait more until the final minute of an auction's ending to bid. Granted it makes it more interesting to bid this way but it also will help you get an item WAY cheaper!

If I can't get something on eBay for at least 25%-50% off, then I'll just get it at the local store.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Email humor 09/22/2007

Are the patterns moving?


Or are they perfectly still?




The patterns are used to test the level of stress a person can handle.

The slower the pictures move, the better your ability of handling stress.

Alleged criminals that were tested see them spinning around madly.

However, senior citizens and kids see them standing still.

None of these images are animated -- they are perfectly still.

How did you do with the test??

If you did NOT see any movement in the patterns, look closely at the following photo.

Friday, September 21, 2007

Why you should watch tennis

Ana Ivanovic from Serbia. Just one of the beautiful reasons to watch tennis...okay, women's tennis. Oh yeah, she actually can play, really well, unlike Anna Kournikova.



Thursday, September 20, 2007

Glass? I think it's glass...

So, I'm walking down the hallway of my office building to go to the men's room and this is what I saw. I think it was pretty obvious that it was GLASS but I guess someone had to be visually reminded with pen and paper. The one thing that bothered me is that I didn't see the Spanish translation for glass underneath the English. That's sarcasm in case you didn't get it.

     

Thursday, September 06, 2007

Email humor 09/06/2007

Driving in Dallas, Texas

First you must learn to pronounce the city name. It is DAL-LUS, or DAA-LIS depending on if you live inside or outside LBJ Freeway.

Next, if your Mapsco is more than a few weeks old, throw it out and buy a new one. If in Denton County and your Mapsco is one-day-old, then it is already obsolete. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. (Frisco has screwed everything up.) Dallas has its own version of traffic rules... "Hold on and pray." There is no such thing as a dangerous high-speed chase in
Dallas. We all drive like that.

All directions start with, "Get on Beltline," which has no beginning and no end. (It REALLY DOESN'T!!!)

The morning rush hour is from 6 to 10. The evening rush hour is from 3 to 7. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning.

If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended, cussed out and possibly shot. When you are the first one on the starting line, count to five when the light turns green before going to avoid crashing with all the drivers running the red light in cross-traffic.

Construction on Central Expressway is a way of life and a permanent form of entertainment. We had sooo much fun with that, we have added George Bush Freeway and the High Five to the mix. All unexplained sights are explained by the phrase, "Oh, we're in Fort Worth !"

If someone actually has his or her turn signal on, it is probably a factory defect. Car horns are actually "Road Rage" indicators - and remember, it's legal to be armed in Texas.

All old ladies with blue hair in a Mercedes have the right of way. Period. And remember, it's legal to be armed in Texas.

Inwood Road, Plano Road, NW Highway, East Grand, Garland Road , Marsh Lane, Josey Lane , 15th Street , Preston Road all mysteriously change names as you cross intersections (these are only a FEW examples). The perfect example is what is MOSTLY known as Plano Road. On the south end, it is known as Lake Highlands Drive, cross Northwest Highway and it becomes Plano Road , go about 8 miles and it is briefly Greenville Ave, Ave K, and Highway 5. It ends in Sherman.

The North Dallas Tollway is our daily version of NASCAR. The minimum acceptable speed on the Dallas North Toll Road is 85 mph. Anything less is considered downright sissy. It also ends in Sherman.

If asking directions in Irving or SE Dallas, you must have knowledge of Spanish. If in central Richardson or on Harry Hines, Mandarin Chinese will be your best bet. If you stop to ask directions on Gaston or Live Oak, you better be armed... and remember, it's legal to be armed in Texas.

The wrought iron on windows near Oak Cliff and Fair Park is not ornamental!!

A trip across town east to west will take a minimum of four hours, although many north/south freeways have unposted minimum speeds of 75.

It is possible to be driving WEST in the NORTH-bound lane of EAST NORTHWEST Highway. Don't let this confuse you.

LBJ is called "The Death Trap" for two reasons: "death" and "trap."

If it's 100 degrees, Thanksgiving must be next weekend. If it's 10 degrees and sleeting/snowing, the Fort Worth Stock Show is going on. If it has rained 6 inches in the last hour, the Byron Nelson Golf Classic is in the second round (if it's Spring) - and it is the Texas State Fair if it's Fall.

If you go to the Fair, pay the $8.00 to park INSIDE Fair Park Parking elsewhere could cost up to $2500 for damages, towing fees, parking tickets, and possibly a gunshot wound. If some guy with a flag tries to get you to park in his yard, run over him.

Any amusement parks, stadiums, arenas, racetracks, airports, etc., are conveniently located as far away from EVERYTHING as possible so as to allow for ample parking on grassy areas.

Final Warning: Don't Mess With Texas Drivers ... remember, it's legal to be armed in Texas.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Email humor 09/05/2007

Oriental Eye Exam




A man was driving down the road and ran out of gas. Just at that moment, a bee flew in his window.

The bee said, 'What seems to be the problem?'

'I'm out of gas,' the man replied.

The bee told the man to wait right there and flew away. Minutes later, the man watched as an entire swarm of bees flew to his car and into his gas tank. After a few minutes, the bees flew out.

'Try it now,' said one bee.

The man turned the ignition key and the car started right up.

'Wow!' the man exclaimed, 'what did you put in my gas tank'?

The bee answered,



Saturday, September 01, 2007

Who says the Dallas Stars don't have a sense of humor?

The Dallas Stars are running a new ad campaign to get people pumped up for the upcoming Stars (NHL) season.

Currently there is a billboard near the American Airlines Center that says...
"The only thing our refs shave is the ice."
Yes, it's an obvious jab at the NBA ref problems.

Apparently, there are more to come according to the news story on DallasNews.com. One will say,
"One game a week? Is the N in NFL for Nancy?"
and the other will say,
"Maybe baseball should stop using the word sacrifice."
Pretty bold but hilarious stuff. For the longest time I always thought the NHL worked harder than most sports except maybe the NFL but they don't get paid like the others because people don't watch it as much on television. WTF is up with that? They say a hit in hockey is like the impact of a car collision at 40mph. What the hell EVER happens to the MLB players...a wild pitch to the shoulder or back? Get over it!

Oh well, hockey season starts in about two weeks. Can't wait although I wish I had an HDTV to see some of the games that are broadcast in HD. Check the Stars' schedule.