Sunday, September 25, 2011

Hourglass (1996)

Hourglass (1996). This is another one of the many "worst movies I've seen."

One reason the movie sucked: it was edited for content. That's right. I'm watching a movie on Netflix that is dubbed...all the bad words are silenced and all the nudity scenes removed. WTF?

This movie had one of the hottest actresses I've seen (rated by looks not acting skills) in Sofia Shinas. And yet I didn't see a gosh darn shot of her naked body. WTF?

I have know idea how I found this movie or decided to watch it through Netflix but I've become a "random movie watcher" because I want to get all that I can out of my Netflix membership and especially before they raise the prices again. It turns out this movie was directed by C. Thomas Howell as well as "starred" him. I don't know who thought he was a good director or continued to let him direct anything after the few movies I've seen from him but I'm glad it stopped at some point in time. I think this movie went straight to DVD or was made for DVD. Either way, I think they got the USA Network or whatever cable television network version on Netflix instead of the actual unedited movie.

I would love to see the edited sex scenes but I don't think I could sit through the entire movie again! It was very difficult to watch it the first time but I persevered.

In case you didn't get the hint, DO NOT RENT THIS MOVIE. Again, allow me to waste my 120 minutes so you don't have to!

Email humor 09/25/2011

Do you remember seeing these letters in grade school?

Shuttle Cock

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Country Strong (2010)

Country Strong (2010). I saw this a few days or so ago. Yes, I'm a little late watching this since it came out in 2010. Anyway, I intended to write some interesting things about it but I have since forgotten. There were a couple of lines from the first of the movie that I wanted to post about but I have forgotten what they were and I have already returned the movie.

I would say that I found this movie more entertaining and interesting than Crazy Heart. The ending was kind of predictable because these types of movies go one of two ways: (1) the singer rebounds then lives out their life or (2) they end up dead after that one last fantastic show. So, I will ruin the finale for you and say that the main character in this one was the latter.

It's worth the $2 rental or even better on Netflix since you pay a flat monthly fee.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

The Day the Earth Stopped (2008)

The Day the Earth Stopped (2008). This is a total rip off of all the other "The Day the Earth..." died, stood still and any others like that.

What sucks is this movie sort of started out with so much potential. The "destroyer of earth" in the movie who just happens to be a very hot chick lands on earth and is totally and completely naked walking around the forest for about the first three minutes of the movie. I was thinking, "Damn, this may not suck after all!" Too bad that was the best part of the movie.

The sad thing about this movie is that C. Thomas Howell directed and "starred" in this craptastic version. There was also a brief appearance by Judd Nelson. Judd was billed as "starring" but he has like 5-10 minutes in the very last part of the movie. Poor Pony Boy and John Bender...are they this hard up for cash or to maintain work...because this isn't what I would want to be remembered for.

This movie was worse for C. Thomas Howell because if he wanted to be taken somewhat serious as a director, I'd have to say he failed. Don't get me wrong. I've always like the guy but his attention to detail is way off. Granted there are budgets and shit but this was made in 2008 and I think even something like iMovie could have edited out some of the flawed scenes. I'll just poke fun of a few.

First, this female destroyer lands on Earth naked. She's "saved" by Howell's character because he thinks she's been hurt or something because she's on a highway in the forest naked. He later finds out she's the other alien they've been looking for because they already caught one. Anyway, she's taken back to this makeshift base and clothed. She's wearing white sweatpants, a white wifebeater and a bra. She's a freaking alien for George Lucas's sake. She doesn't need or even care for using a bra! Hell, she's already flashed her boobies so what difference would a bra make anyway!?

Second, there is a part where Howell is relieved of duty because of his insubordination in not wanting to harm the femalien. He leaves the base but comes back because saving her is the right thing to do. He gets back inside the base just as the alien robots send out an EMP, essentially killing anything (which is everything in the world!) that runs on electricity for an uncertain amount of time. He gets the femalien to one of the governmental SUVs and it won't start. DUH! The femalien uses her powers to start the car and they escape. They are driving within the city when Howell decides to stop for some stupid reason in the middle of the street. He is dumbfounded and asks to the femalien, "How did you do that?" I mean really! Who the hell cares!? You escaped be happy and don't ask 'why' or 'how.' Idiot! So before he can get an answer this gun-wielding guy jumps on the hood and tells them to get the hell out of the car because he's carjacking them as they have the only running vehicle in town! The camera angle is behind the carjacker looking through the windshield and somewhat over the vehicle just in time to see a "boys in blue" vehicle pass by in the distance. "Only working vehicle" huh? That's what we call bad editing and as the director, Howell should have seen that.

Third, there is a 'chase' scene within the city near the end of the movie. Yes, after all the electronics have recovered from the EMP. Howell is once again in a hijacked governmental SUV and is being followed by other governmental SUVs. They make the same right turn over about 5-7 mins of run time. You can see the same building, the same fencing, the same road and the same random objects caught in the frame. Yes, it's the reuse of the same clip. The least they could have done was filmed it on a street without distinguishable scenery or props.

Oh well. I didn't go into this with high expectations to begin with. I felt like it was going to be a made-for-TV movie on the Sci-Fi channel but those movies are actually better! I mean this was made in 2008 and the technology was still very good with CGI and such that they could have created better footage in some teenage kids garage! If you have Netflix, the best footage of this movie happens in the very beginning with the femalien walking nude in the forest. After that, you can watch if you want as long as your expectations are low...very low.

People are so stupid and clueless sometimes

I got an email from the CompUSA listserv mentioning a "deal" on the Alienware M14X AM14X-5283SBK today. I have previously typed about owning the M11X but I'm really interested in upgrading to the M14X for more screen real estate. I'm going to find a REALLY good deal on it sometime in the near future. I just know it.

Curious as I am, I clicked the link in the email to see what kind of deal they were offering. It wasn't that great but I didn't see something that made me realize even more the ignorance of people.

I screen captured two comments (see below) about the M14X which are supposed to be reviews. What's stupid about these particular "reviews, ratings, comments" is that the people typing them do not even OWN the product they are "reviewing!" They are generalizing what they want in the item or what they feel is wrong about the item without even buying it and physically using and testing it. They make blind, ignorant judgments (where has thinking like this gotten the world in the past...very bad places and happenings).

Anyway, if you're not going to contribute in a meaningful manner to the world of electronic purchases, keep your stupid mouth shut! What's even funnier is that these stupid blokes hide behind cryptic usernames because they don't want their friends and family to point out the stupidity!

So, if you want to comment on something whether it be a product, an article, a blog entry, or whatever, at least have some experience with what you are speaking about.

=== end transmission of frustration ===

King of the Ants (2003)

King of the Ants. I actually saw this movie few months or so ago through my Blockbuster Total Access Plan but I ended up watching a little bit of it on Netflix this past Saturday. It sounded and looked familiar but I had to log onto my computer to verify. Yes, I keep list of all the movies I've seen and approximately when except for the older ones because I didn't start the list until a couple of years ago. I do put in older movies but I just mark them as 'seen' without the 'seen on date.' Yes, I'm nerdy like that.

Anyway, I didn't realize that Kari Wuhrer was in this movie from the first viewing and thought I'd comment. I remember seeing Kari in a few 'B' movies in early the 90s. She was hot in a weird kind of way. She wasn't strikingly beautiful but she was attractive. She was becoming "famous" as like the Shannon Tweed of the 90s (Shannon was the straight-to-video B-movie queen of the late 80s and had some wonderfully beautiful, fairly large, natural breasts). Kari on the other hand didn't have these natural breasts. All the movies I remember seeing her in where she got topless, she had some overly stuffed B-cups. It's almost like she already had the size but they maybe drooped or something because the surgery made them look like perfectly shaped small grapefruits that didn't touch each other. There was a valley that a freight train could drive through.

Without getting further off topic, after seeing parts of this movie again, I was wondering why she got implants to begin with because her boobs in this movie were fairly nice. They weren't overly perky as with the implants but they were still attractive. I screen capped a NSFW pic here from the movie for reference.

After recent backgrounding on her (hehe, sounds dirty) at IMDB, it turns out she had her implants removed in in 2002 and 'Ants' was made in 2003. Good for her. She looks way better and sexy as a naturally boobied woman.

So, the point of the post was to criticize her implants but since she's had them removed what is there to criticize?

As far as the movie, you can pass on it. It wasn't that good even with the very minimal part of Kari showing off her sexy body. The acting sucked! The storyline was subpar as well as the videography. George Wendt was probably the biggest name in the movie and it's sad to see that 'Norm' has lowered his standards unless he's made his gazillions and can make whatever the fuck her wants these days. There was a Baldwin boy cast (Daniel) but he's like the one nobody knows other than that he looks like a Baldwin and probably takes the roles his more famous brothers wouldn't take like Don Swayze.

Anyway, don't waste 102 minutes of your life because I have already wasted 204 minutes for you!

Thursday, September 08, 2011

Let the Dallas Mavericks' new season begin!

Or at least just let the Mavs' Dancers come out on the court!

That's all I got to say about that!

Tuesday, September 06, 2011

Land's End Men's Oxford Water Shoes

Lands' End was having a sale online about a week and a half ago. I purchased a couple pairs of Chino pants. I didn't know what Chino pants was at the time of thinking about ordering so I had to Google it. After educating myself that they were basically khaki pants, I decided to purchase two pairs. I got the Desert Khaki (on sale for $13.98 regularly $44.50) and Vintage Brick (on sale for $10.48 regular $34.50) colors. I haven't ordered pants from Lands' End before so I wasn't sure how they'd fit as far as the waist size compared to other stores. I figured $10 was a decent gamble to find out especially since I can return them for free at the Sears down the street or any other store that accepts Lands' End returns. I can also return via mail/UPS but it's like $7. I'm a fan of the FREE!

I did purchase a couple of outdoorsy shoes. I have previously purchased a pair of slippers, my current pair, from Lands' End about 4-5 years ago. I saw a really good deal on them. I think back then they were something like $40 and I got them for less than $10 including tax and shipping. Very good deal! So, I saw these Men's Oxford Water Shoes (pic to left). Regularly $39.50. I got them for $10.49. Again, I went with the knowledge of free returns at Sears and $10 was a good investment if they fit. So, I invested in two pairs. I liked the more sporty look of the Majestic Navy color scheme but also thought the Light Stone could double as somewhat of a casual dress (really just not so sporty on those days I want to differentiate). I really wanted the Rich Red color but they didn't have it in my size at the time of ordering. I like the boldness of the Rich Red but it also made me think of Tom Hanks in the movie, "The Man with One Red Shoe."

I ordered these items on August 17th. I got them yesterday, August 29th. I wasn't impressed with the shipping time but I guess I did have four items. I tracked the package and it seems that part of the problem was it was picked up by UPS in Illinois on 8/23 and then delivered to a local post office in Dallas, Texas on 8/26. Apparently, the local post office tried to deliver it to the wrong place on 8/27 and it was taken back to the post office. It seems it was sent to the wrong "local" post office and was transferred to another local post office on 8/29 and it was delivered the same day around 5:30pm. Not very good transit if you ask me but I guess I wasn't in a hurry for the items.

I opened the box and took out my shoes first. They were the most important part of the package I was looking forward to. The pants were ordered mainly for work so they were less exciting, although I may occasionally wear them outside of work. I first pulled the right foot of the Majestic Navy pair and tried it on. Perfect fit! Sweet! I next pulled the left foot of the Light Stone pair and tried it on. Another perfect fit although it was to be expected since the different pairs were the same size.

I walked around the house and even visited a few of the neighbors with the different shoes on. I got a compliment on both.

I do like them both but there is just something to me about wearing shoes without socks. I know these are "water" shoes and shoes in water feel much different than out of water but I didn't intend to wear them just in water. They don't have a lot of padding in the soles but they are comfortable albeit not for an extended amount of the 4+ hours that I wore them one Friday evening.

Anyway, if you need a decent shoe for those hiking, camping and wading moments then this might be the shoe for you even if you have to pay full price.

Oh yeah, I haven't worn the Chico pants other than to try them on because the leg length is too long but I did like them as well.