Monday, August 29, 2011

Beastly (2011, Unknown (2011), Gnomeo & Juliet (2011)

I saw these some time ago...maybe at least a month ago. I've been busy.

Gnomeo & Juliet (2011). This wasn't too bad of a movie. The basis of the storyline is pretty obvious but they did it in a "cute" way. It wasn't written, filmed so childlike that adults won't enjoy it as well. A lot of the voice overs are easily recognizable but then others are like "who the hell are they?"

I wouldn't run out and rent this unless (1) you have kids or (2) you have kids and there isn't anything else to watch that's say at a leve 6 or greater in excitement level to watch or do. It's not a bad movie. It's just not an "Oh my gosh, I am so glad I saw this movie" movie.

Unknown (2011). Without fully knowing what this movie was about, it had a surprising twist. I didn't expect this twist but I also don't fully pay attention to all the movies I watch at all times during the movie. The twist caught me a little by surprise. Overall this movie was pretty good. It's weird to realize how many movies Liam Neeson has been in over the past two years or so.

The different plot lines like Liam's character's memory loss, the assassination plot, the trying to kill Liam's character even though he's the's just all over the place but at the same time nicely pulled together in the end. It is a little predictable in the sense that you know the hero of the movie is going to turn out all right and this movie didn't disappoint in following along with this tradition.

I'd say this is worth a rental. Maybe even a full-priced one...but on someone else's dime would make it even better.

Beastly (2011). I didn't know the concept of this movie when I first rented it. A few minutes in, I realized this was the retold concept of Beauty and the Beast. Someone at Disney or wherever must have decided it was time to bring this story to the teens that watch The Disney Channel. Smart idea but teenage angst and love stories is so overdone these days.

Nowadays, I wouldn't have expected the "beast" in this movie to have any ill affects upon other people. He really just looked like any other tattooed freak. I mean in Beauty and the Beast the prince was a fully transformed "beast" so it would be freaky to see him for sure!

If you have teenage daughters, this might be a good movie to pickup for slumber party or birthday party time. Other than that, it's passable. Been there. Done that. And the other ways were better.

Monday, August 22, 2011

In the news 08/18/2011

All I have to say is, "The bastard got what he deserved!"

That's all I got to say about that!

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Two brushes with stupidity in one day

My Saturday experiences with stupid cyclists in Dallas within an hour of each other:

First on Harvard Avenue at the Katy Trail: Two cyclists traveling at least 25 mph are about 75 ft from the crosswalk. I'm about 20 ft going about 15 mph. I am halfway across the crosswalk as they have to slow down and wait for me to cross. One cyclist puts his hands in the air like "WTF?" Apparently the cyclist doesn't know the law of the crosswalk which reads, "Yield to those WITHIN the crosswalk." It doesn't say, "Yield to those approaching the crosswalk." These cyclist didn't want to slow their roll and so I must be the dick and not them. Idiots!

Second, Southwestern Blvd at Airline Rd: Two cyclists traveling north on Airline Rd. I'm traveling east on Southwestern Blvd. I get to the stop light/sign before them. As I start to go, they acted like they were going to ride through the stop light/sign. They slammed on their brakes and wobbled a bit and were like dumbfounded that I didn't yield to them. So, cyclists want to have the same rights as vehicles but they don't want to obey the vehicle laws. Idiots!

I know this isn't ALL cyclists behaviors and attitudes but it seems to be the majority of the ones I have come across. They are an arrogant pack of dip shits that would much rather be arrogant than safe. Right or wrong is not the point when they are willing to risk their life because who is going to win the collision? I don't think the vehicle will be the worst off.


Milla Jovovich has some freakishly long nipples

Stone (2010). This movie is one of the slowest, most boring movies I've seen in a long time. I expected much more with well-known actors such as Robert De Niro, Edward Norton, and Milla Jovovich.

The storyline was so sporadic that I didn't know this from that, what really mattered or what the hell the movie was actually about. It was just a miss mash of shit that wasn't even brought together very well. And the ending, what the hell was the significance of the bee noise? I don't know. I actually paid a pretty fair amount of attention to the movie and I guess I missed something somewhere.

On a perverted side note, Milla flashes her boobs a few times on camera. Gotta love her for it but it didn't make the movie any more likable. The wife and I were initially watching this movie together and the first time Milla shows her boobs the wife and I both were like, "What the fuck is wrong with her nipples?" They were enormously long and I actually like Milla's nude body in previous shots but this was just weird. The wife was sickened by the length (LOL). It's kind of like her boobs are like three inches thick (from chest to nipple) and then the nipple is like an inch and a half long. I've uploaded a screen capture of the offending (to some) image. NSFW pic here. Don't get me wrong. I'd still tag Milla with enthusiasm and glee but I'd have to wear protective goggles.

Overall movie verdict: pass it and warn others to do so as well.