Friday, November 30, 2007

Email humor 11/30/2007

Bubba, the doctor's helper...

A doctor in rural Texas wanted to get off work and go hunting, so he approached his assistant Bubba.

"I am going hunting tomorrow and we don't want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of our patients."

"Yes, sir!" answers Bubba.

The doctor goes hunting and returns the following day and asks: "So, Bubba how was your day?"

Bubba said he took care of three patients.

"The first one had a headache so I gave him TYLENOL."

"Great," says the doctor, "and what about the second one?"

"The second one had stomach burning and I gave him MAALOX, sir," says Bubba.

The doctor replies, "You're good at this, Bubba. And what about the third patient?"

"Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door opens and a woman enters like a flame. She undresses herself, taking off everything, including her bra and her panties, and lies down on the table, spreading her legs and shouts: 'HELP ME! For five years I have not seen a man!'"

"And what did you do, Bubba?" asks the doctor.

Bubba replied, "I put drops in her eyes."

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Daily Dilbert

The joke is probably lost on the blogosphere but it's almost true to life with me and my work. I have a goatee (with dark hair like scene 3 guy) and then there is this other guy who just recently started his goatee (like uncoolness guy in all three scenese). Anyway...


LCD versus DLP Projector

If you are a techie-nerdie-type like me, you want to project your movies and/or video games on something that a television just can't be big enough for or if it can, is cost prohibitive. I've seen these advertisements for projectors at 3000 lumens (LCD) or 1000 lumens (DLP) and have always wondered what the major difference between the two technologies (LCD and DLP) were besides price and lumens.

Well, I found a decent web site that pretty much spells it out for you. It's called AVPartner.com. Check out their buyer's guide for a decent explanation.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Dallas Stars billboards

Here is a GIF of the new Dallas Stars' billboards this season seen around town.

Dallas Stars Billboards

Friday, November 16, 2007

Email humor 11/16/2007

DADDY'S GONNA EAT YOUR FINGERS

I was packing for my business trip and my three year old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point she said,'Daddy, look at this', and stuck out two of her fingers.

Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her tiny fingers in my mouth and said, 'Daddy's gonna eat your fingers,' pretending to eat them.

I went back to packing, looked up again and my daughter was standing on the bed staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face.

I said, 'What's wrong, honey?'

She replied, What happened to my booger?

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Ocean's 13

I just finished watching Ocean's 13. The movie was pretty good. It's basically like '12' and '13' but still entertaining. I'd rent it for cheap or borrow it from a friend. You won't be disappointed.

Additionally, I must comment that Ellen Barkin looks pretty damn good for being what...53?! I'm a bit sad that this wasn't rated 'R' and she got a little risque. Hehe!

Anyway, like I said. It's worth watching if you got it for cheap or free for sure.

Oh yeah, I also saw a guy I haven't seen on television in a long, long time. It was the guy that used to play Super Dave Osbourne on this half hour comedy show on Showtime back in...shit, like the 1980s...with John Byner as the host. Yay! I was able to google it. It was called Bizarre.

UPDATE: I found a picture of Super Dave...he did some funny stuff.

Super Dave Osbourne

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Sean John Unforgivable

I needed to get some new cologne as I ran out a few weeks ago of my 4.2oz bottles Dolce & Gabbana and Drakkar. I ordered last from an online store called FragranceNet.com because it was much cheaper than getting it from Neiman Marcus or Macy's at NorthPark Mall.

I decided to try something different as I can always get more Dolce or Drakkar online but I was told that sometimes local stores run specials (like gift packs and such) during the holidays.

So off to NorthPark Center and we stopped by Macy's. My wife tutors a kid and she says he always smells pretty good (she's a fucking flirt). LOL! Anyway, she asked him what he wears and he said Sean John - yes, that's Puffy! She said she liked it a lot and said I should try it. Luckily, Macy's had some and I took the whiffing test. It wasn't too bad. Not too bad in fact, that I ended up purchasing the 4.2oz bottle. I like the bigger amounts because I don't want return to the stores too often to buy more. It wastes my time.

Anyway, we smelled some others to see if there was anything else NEW that I would like to try. Usher's wasn't too bad. I started to feel like I was becoming a hip-hop junkie with liking these guys' fragrances. I ended up just going with Sean John and what do you know, the sales lady tells me about a gift pack they are giving away that is the same price as the 4.2oz bottle. The pack includes the same 4.2oz bottle but also an after shave balm and a shower gel all in a nice (too fancy actually) box. I don't know what the shower gel is used for but I could use the after shave when I shave...once a week.

So, anyway, if you are male or female looking for a male scent (weird), I recommend Sean John Unforgivable. For $75.00 you can smell like a hip-hop artist!

Here are some pics of the fanciness...






Friday, November 09, 2007

Email humor 11/09/2007

WIFE's CAR

(read before viewing picture)

So, your wife decides to go out with her friends drinking and dancing.

You're okay with it because you get to watch sports all night.

You hear her stumble into bed around 4 am.

You wake up next morning and go outside to the family Volvo she drove last night.

You are happy to see it all in one piece. But . . . Wait a minute . . .





Friday, November 02, 2007

Email humor 11/02/2007

A koala was sitting in a gum tree...... smoking a joint



when a little lizard walked past, looked up and said, "Hey Koala! What are you doing?"



The koala said, "Smoking a joint, come up and have some."

So the little lizard climbed up and sat next to the koala where they enjoyed a few joints.

After a while the little lizard said that his mouth was "dry" and that he was going to get a drink from the river.

The little lizard was so stoned that he leaned too far over and fell into the river.

A crocodile saw this and swam over to the little lizard and helped him to the side. Then he asked the little lizard, "What's the matter with you?"

The little lizard explained to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the koala in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink.

The crocodile said that he had to check this out and walked into the rain forest, found the tree where the koala was sitting finishing a joint. The crocodile looked up and said, "Hey you!"



So the koala looked down at him and said,



"Shiiiiiiiiiiit, dude.....How much water did you drink?!!