Sunday, July 31, 2005

DOGMA

I purchased the Dogma DVD the other day. I think this movie is hilarious. I still didn't want to spend too much money on it, though. I thought about burning a copy but then at Fry's Electronics they had a sale on DVDs and Dogma was going for $5.99. Booyah! It was mine!

A few memorable quotes I like from them movie are:
(Rated R for language, beware! Also if you get double numbers when viewing. Sorry. Damn HTML ordered list command isn't showing correctly when I publish the post so I had to add the numbers manually!)
  1. Snootch to the motherfuckin' nootch!
  2. It's usually 'Long Rufus' but it's a little cold out here, ya know?
  3. Oh, I'm Jay, and this is my hetero-lifemate Silent Bob. I don't know who those kids were, but they would've kicked yours and Lunchbox's asses if I hadn't represented.
  4. I give you... The Buddy Christ.
  5. Hell, the tubby coat-wearin' motherfucker's got tits, that damn sure doesn't make him a woman.
  6. Dude, I know they were just kids, but we kicked their fucking pube-less asses.
  7. No pleasure, no rapture, no exquisite sin greater... than central air.
  8. You want to hear something sick? I got half a stock when she kissed me.
  9. We call this piece the Fecalator. One look at it and the target shits him or herself.
  10. Mary gave birth to CHRIST without having known a man's touch, that's true. But she did have a husband. And do you really think he'd have stayed married to her all those years if he wasn't getting laid? The nature of God and the Virgin Mary, those are leaps of faith. But to believe a married couple never got down? Well, that's just plain gullibility.
  11. The humans have besmirched everything bestowed on them. They were given Paradise, they threw it away. They were given this planet, they destroyed it. They were favored best among all His endeavors, and some of them don't even believe He exists. And in spite of it all, He's shown them infinite fucking patience at every turn. What about us? I asked you... once to lay down the sword because I felt sorry for them. What was the result? Our expulsion from Paradise. WHERE WAS HIS INFINITE FUCKING PATIENCE THEN? IT'S NOT RIGHT, IT'S NOT FAIR. We've paid our debt. Don't you think it's time? Don't you think its time we went home? and to do that, I think we have to dispatch of our would-be dispatchers.
  12. Do you know what makes a human being decent? Fear. And therein lies the problem. None of you has anything left to fear anymore. You rest comfortably in seats of inscrutable power, hiding behind your false idol, far from judgment, lives shrouded in secrecy even from one another. But not from God.
  13. White folks only want to hear the good shit: life eternal, a place in God's Heaven. But as soon as they hear
    they're getting this good shit from a black Jesus, they freak. And that, my friends, is called hypocrisy. A black man can steal your stereo, but he can't be your Savior.
  14. You can't be anal-retentive if you don't have an anus.
  15. You knew Jesus? [Rufus] Knew him? Shit... Nigga owes me twelve bucks.
Okay, I guess that's a little bit of quote overkill. I got a little bit carried away!

Saturday, July 30, 2005

The Dallas Stars management team is dumb!

Mike Modano

Why sign Zubov and not Mike Modano? They think Modano is too old at 35. Zubov is 35 and doesn't have half the speed and skill that Modano has!

In fact, Zubov hasn't been the player he once was either. Sure, Modano had a bad season or two recently but I think that had to do more with the crappy coaching and style of play Tippett brought to the table. The Stars signed too many high dollar forwards and wasted money on them when they didn't produce and the Stars faltered.

Get rid of Guerin and Arnott. They are overpaid and don't have the speed or skill Modano has to open up the ice.

Let Mo finish his career in Dallas with a respectable pay. Hell, Zubov got $12mil over 3 years. I'm sure Mo will take something just above that if not similar. He should anyway if he really wanted to stay in Dallas!

Friday, July 29, 2005

One of many reasons I love being a parent

The other day my wife and kids walked up the street to 7-11 to get Slurpees while I was at work.

My oldest got a flavor as did the youngest. My wife got her flavor.

They were on the way to the register for check out and my oldest says, "Oh no, we didn't get Daddy anything. We have to get Daddy something otherwise he'll be sad because we got Slurpees and he didn't." The youngest agreed.

All I need is their love, kindness and stories of their thoughtfulness such as this! My wife told me this story and I almost broke into tears. I'm such a woman!

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Sunglasses of the future


I remember these glasses came out back in the 80s. I don't recal what movie promoted the creation but they were everywhere. I think I was in junior high and they started selling these at Six Flags Over Texas right next to the "Risky Business" RayBans. Oh, the choices we had to make back then - be like Joel Goodson or Lt. Geordi La Forge.

Somehow my older brother acquired a pair of these and I would try to snag them anytime I could. I look back now and I know they didn't make me look any cooler than I already am but I still had to have a pair because most everyone else did. It was short lived for me though because the lenses touched my eyelashes and it bugged the hell out me when that happened. Plus, it was getting harder to sneak them from my bro.

Anyway, I guess that wasn't as interesting as I originally thought. I just came across this picture on the web and it reminded me about these glasses.

I'll go put my head in the ground now like an ostrich!

This morning started off sucking

I am tired as a son of a gun! Yes, it's my own fault but that's the way of my life.

I went to bed late last night. I had to go get Corky (aka David) last night because I have a roller hockey game tonight and the wife has her last working night for the summer. Ha, sounds like she's a prostitute or something.

Anyway, I planned on getting him around 8 p.m. last night but shit happened and I didn't end up leaving until a bit after 9pm. I planned on getting there and getting back by 10-10:30 p.m. at the latest.

Didn't happen. Never does!

I was yapping with my brother and nephew, Ollie and Robbie respectively. Somehow we got on the topic of whether or not it is a law for someone with an STD and knows it to tell someone that they are about to have sex with that they do. I said there wasn't but they said there was. Although I think it is wrong that they don't tell, I believe it is a violation of medical rights. If a doctor can't reveal medical history, why should an individual be required to?

They both said there was a national law that says you have to reveal your disease or you face criminal charges. Robbie tried to relate it to carrying a knife or gun or something. He wasn't completely coherent because he had already had about six glasses of Jack Daniel's and Coke.

Anyway, I made a bet with him that there wasn't such a law. He asked what the terms of the winner/loser would be. He said that if he was right that he got one night with my wife. Now, I don't know if I should be disturbed or proud that my 24-year-old nephew desires my wife but nevertheless, I could not agree to that term. I told Robbie that he should try to find his own women or go after my brother Vern's (#6 brother) wife, Marti. He said he'd pass. Again, pride or queasiness at his lustfulness for MY wife? LOL.

So, we agreed that I would tell him in a public place, in front of everyone and anyone that he was right. I said, "I will tell you 'Robbie, you have taught me something. You were right.'" Simple as that. I don't think we discussed what the term(s) would be if I won. I guess just knowing that I am NEVER wrong is good enough. He said he'd have proof of this law in three days. We'll see.

I got home around 12:30 a.m. this morning. I was tired to begin with but I was going to be even more tired. I tossed and turned a bit in the bed last night - I think I need to get me some but could be just being restless, NOT! Anyhow, the alarm went off this morning at 8 a.m. and I did not want to get up. I finally got out of bed around 8:07 a.m. and my left eye was burning. It was bothering me a bit last night and was a little red but it was worse this morning. I was blood-shot red and tearing badly. Luckily, there was not filmy gunk over it. I don't know what's bothering it but it still burns now at 10 a.m. I was thinking about calling into work because I could have pink eye but mainly because I am butt-ass tired. I think if I had pink eye, my eye would be filmy. But I'm no doctor. Oh well. I'll just suffer like I normally do until it passes.

I got to work this morning and decided to do some research on the topic Robbie and I discussed about the "STD law." Google gave me some random sites but I found a very interesting one here in case anyone cares.

There is not a national law but there are individual state laws and those vary depending on the states. If you look at the state laws though, most are very specific regarding acts other than simple intercourse between two people. Some stated that it was a felony to donate blood, organs or semen while knowingly having an STD. Others were like you can be held liable if you are in prostitution or someone has you in prostitution while having an STD. I went through a few randomly selected states for the 'generical' STD laws and those specific to HIV and didn't find anything backing Robbie's claim. Nor did I see any related cases (like Roe vs Wade) that have been prosecuted under any of the laws I viewed.

So, I'm right. I'm tired. And I get nothing but the glory of knowing I am omnipotent!

Was it worth it? Not at this moment, I'm not really feeling it!

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

My kids have done this

...tied the jump rope to a door handle but not the hanging themselves part.

I don't leave my kids unsupervised and I don't want to sound mean but this seems like a case of "dumb ass!"
July 27, 2005 (New York Post)-- A 6-year-old girl accidentally strangled herself while she jumped rope last night inside her grandparents' Queens home, police said. Najiyah Roberts, who was visiting from Virginia, tied the rope to a door knob in her grandparents' two-family home on 120th Avenue in Springfield Gardens at about 5:30 p.m.

About 30 minutes later, police said, Najiyah's grandmother found her body on the floor with the rope wrapped around her neck.

Police said the death appeared to be a tragic accident.

Najiyah, who lived in Charlotte Court House, Va., had been staying with her grandparents since June.

The city Medical Examiner's Office will conduct an autopsy to determine the cause of death.

And they wonder why people think Texans are stupid!

In the news...
SAN ANTONIO, Texas (Reuters) - A Texas man was arrested on Monday after calling police to complain about the theft of his marijuana, authorities said. Stephen Knight, 17, said three men had broken into his apartment, hogtied him with Christmas lights and stole some marijuana, along with a plasma screen television, police said. Police are looking for the suspects. In the meantime, they arrested Knight after finding several marijuana plants growing under heat lamps in the apartment, four grams of harvested marijuana and a tablet of ecstasy, Officer Chad Ripley said. Knight said the men barged into his home early on Monday morning demanding, "Where's the weed?," according to San Antonio police.

Eminent domain

What kind of bullshit is the government pulling with passing this eminent domain law?

Basically, it's the ultimate screwing over for all people who consider owning a house part of the "American Dream." You work your ass off. Buy a house and land to call your own. The city decides it wants your land in the interest of "public use" and then your land is classified as condemned so the city can take it from you at cost.

Can I say how much bullshit this is once again?

Why even buy a house? We should all be renters so then the banks and lenders start to suffer and then we'll see how important "public use" is. If someone rich has something to lose, then the voice of opposition will be heard. Otherwise, middle-class home owners like myself (the middle-class part not home owner) will continue to get screwed by big businesses.

Is it the home owner's fault that they just happened to purchase a house and land that later one became of interest to some corporate assholes? All the home owner wanted was, well, a home to own. If it happens to be in a place that developers want in the future, I believe the developer (city or private) should pay as much as the home owner asks within reason. Don't you think the developer would do the same if someone came to buy one of their properties? I think so!

So, welcome to the land of the "free". Free to speak, write and express your opinion but don't think you are going to own land that the "big, corporate asshole" wants because it's also the land of "free to bend over and take one from behind!"

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Constantine - a simple movie review

Constantine (2005).

I watched this movie this evening. It wasn't all interesting all the time but it wasn't half bad. Keanu Reeves acted like Keanu Reeves and Peter Stormare acted like Peter Stormare. Rachel Wiesz acted okay but was better eye candy.

Overall, I have seen worse than this movie.

I most definitely wouldn't pay $8 to see it at the theater but it was a decent rental.


NASA, we have lift off!

Today, space shuttle Discovery successfully lauched into space for a 12-day mission. After further review of the lauch tapes, the imagery team says two pieces of debris had been seen falling about two minutes after launch when the booster rockets detached but will not know what effect this might have had on the shuttle until further, closer review.

They say this is a great step for the nation of America towards returning to space, to the moon, to Mars. I'll believe it when we get to Mars!

The last time I actually watched a shuttle launch was when the Challenger (I think) exploded upon take off about twenty years ago. I was in physical science class in junior high and the teacher brought in a television so my class could watch the launch. At first, we thought the explosion was a hoax but soon realized it was true, live television. I hadn't watched a "live" launch since but not because I was traumatized. It's more because I wasn't made to watch them.

Anyway, a successful mission and safe trip home to the astronauts.

Email humor 07/26/2005

This has got to be painful




Monday, July 25, 2005

Disrespect by David #2

Continuing with this post...

As mentioned, I was talking with my brother and nephew, Donald and Robbie respectively, about David being stingy.

In the telling my story, even with being pretty damn drunk, Donald surmised that David had cash in his wallet. This is important because:
  1. Donald is a giving person, as well as taking at times, and he was irritated at the way David held out on my kids at Cici's because Donald showers them with gifts from the smallest things like mini ice cream sandwiches to Barbie-type dolls
  2. David owes Donald money although Donald doesn't need the $40+ it is the principal of the thing.
David was giving just about everything up until the time his father (#2 brother) quit his job in Kansas and came back down to Dallas, Texas - jobless and still jobless. Times are tighter so David isn't getting the video games and shit he used to get but still is a spoiled brat! And, I'm sure I mentioned it before but David isn't that bright. In fact, my kids are probably smarter than him and they are only eight and six!

For example, years ago David was at his mother's (my bro and her are divorced for some time now and my bro has custody) using his mother's computer to surf the web on her dial-up connection. She finds out a month or so later that David has been entering pay adult sites because the charges show up on her monthly credit card statement. I don't know how he got her credit card number but I was a little impressed on his ability to do so and know how to use it with him being so slow. Anyway, nothing happened to David but a little talking to by his mother. His father didn't give a crap because it wasn't his money that David was wasting.

So, this night at my parents' after telling of the Cici's incident, Donald turns to David and says with an extended hand, "so, you have money?" David says with serious attitude, "So." Donald says, "You owe me money." David again says, "So." I say, "Oh yeah, he owes you for the soft porn movies he ordered (Donald pays for digital cable to the house and has a receiver in David's room that he allows David to use and this is the thanks David gave Donald - purchasing soft porn and trying to deny it later when Donald saw it on the cable bill)." Again, Donald says, "YOU OWE ME MONEY and you know what for." David says, "So, I'm saving it until I get the whole forty bucks." Turns out, David had kept a video game from Blockbuster and lost it on Donald's membership so Donald had to pay for the movie. Anyhow, I would have pounced on his ass and kicked the shit out of him by now but Donald just says, "Listen here fucker! You cost me money that I had to pay and now you are giving me attitude about paying me back which you owe? So, don't be giving me your fucking attitude!" David just had this pissed off look on his face. He's lucky it's not my place to step into other people's confrontations although I would if I felt like it because I'd rip him a new one verbally and physically! Stupid, punk-ass bitch! The nerve of teenagers these days!

Now granted, Donald can be a dipshit asshole even without the alcohol in his system - another family trait. But David, once again, failed to see that he is completely at fault. Is this the generation I will have supporting me in my old age? I'm terrified!

I had two $10 bills in my pocket that I was going to give to David because originally I was giving him $50 but I used $15 before I gave it too him. Anyway, I told Donald, "I have $10 that you can have that was going to be David's but since he's giving you piss attitude I'll give it directly to you." Donald took it but gave it back to me later after David left the kitchen where we were all talking. Donald was just trying to make a point to David. A point that he wouldn't get and he wouldn't remember later! I told Donald if I were him I'd take the digital cable receiver out of David's room and tell that little shit to suffer. Tell him he can't watch the cable in the living room either. See how happy and haughty-taughty he feels then.

Man, shits like David disrespecting things people have done for them just irks me to no end!

Well, there's the descript of disrespect by David #2.

With family like this, who needs enemies

Shawn and I were having an IM conversation the other day and he asked me about my DSL connection at home when I moved. His brother, Bryan, works at SBC and was asking him (Shawn) about when he moves to let him know because he could see about getting him some deals or whatever. Shawn asked me for my DSL number to forward onto Bryan to see if Bryan could get me any bonus stuff or whatever.

I stopped by Shawn's office today and asked him what Bryan came up with.

He got bonuses all right and he told Shawn not to tell me.

Turns out, Bryan couldn't do anything for me but he did get some benefits for himself. Apparently, SBC has some internal program for employees that gives them bonus cash if they help customer service calls that come in or can tie their names to the help calls. Bryan told Shawn that some guy in his office made like an extra $30K last year from this program. So, of course, the dollar signs blink over Bryan's head as his eyes glaze over before he starts thinking about who he knows has DSL through SBC. Bryan is all about the money...for himself that is!

He made like $70 off me. So I told Shawn to tell Bryan that I want half or I'm going to call SBC and tell them that I never spoke with Bryan and don't even know who he is. I don't care that he gets this money it's just how his method was shady. I wouldn't expect anything different from that family either.

Another Bryan moment about "his" money... Shawn lives in the same complex that I did and he has to vacate as well. He is trying to buy a house with his fiancee so he's still there for now.

Anyway, he tells Bryan about not having to clean up the apartment like one would normally do before moving out because no one else is moving in so they should get all of the $500 deposit back. The cogs start spinning in Bryan's little brain and he tells Shawn, "Cool, so I can get that $500 when you get it right because that's my money? I paid the deposit." Perturbed, Shawn says, "Yes, Bryan you did pay the deposit and you'll get your money."

Something like five years Bryan hasn't lived with Shawn and Theresa and yet he still wants "his" money. Money hoarders! What's the point? He hasn't seen that $500 for over five years and he hasn't needed it either. Between him and his wife, they make over $100k/year. What is $500? Stupid people.

It's been a few days or so since Bryan wanted to ensure he got his $500 from Shawn. Shawn has heard about that $500 from Bryan every day since the first mention of it.

With family and friends like this, who really needs enemies? I guess they could be an added bonus!

Sunday, July 24, 2005

I want my MTV

Do you remember when MTV really was music television?

I remember when I could turn on MTV and within an hours time they would play the video I was wanting to see.

Nowadays, MTV is RTV — "reality TV".

I don't mind watching shows like the Real World or something like The Inferno but some of these other crap shows need to go!

I know I can turn to MTV2 or Fuse but those channels do not come with the expanded basic cable package nor the basic satellite package. I'm not paying $25-$35 extra just to get these music video channels when the original MTV should be THE music channel! The videos are not that important to me.

But I digress...

More pics of the duplex

At least our bedroom is fixed up nice and clean. I may post more as we get things cleaned up.

Saturday, July 23, 2005

Disrespect by David #1

One of the biggest things I cannot stand is disrespectfulness.

Some people just don't get it no matter how much you explain it to them or point out the obviousness of their disrespect.

Let's take a look at an example of my personal experiences...

My nephew, David (#4 nephew), is 16 years old. For some reason he's got a "the world owes me shit" attitude. Why and where he got this is beyond me but one of these days I feel I may have to knock it out of him! He's kind of dorky and his definitely got speech problems. I have nicknamed him "Corky" like the Downs Sydrome kid in the "Life Goes On" television show from way back when of 1989.

His most recent showing of disrespect was Saturday night when I stopped by my parents' house for my girls to visit for a bit with their uncles (#2 and #5 brothers) and other cousin, David's older brother, Robbie (#2 nephew). We were there for a bit and I was talking about David's stinginess a few days before with Robbie and my brother, Donald.

Here's the episode I was telling them about...

We went to Cici's Pizza for dinner on Thursday (I think). I paid for my kids AND David - the wife was at work. After the kids had their pizza and dessert, they were interested in getting some things out of the gumball machines. I paid for dinner with my debit card and didn't have any cash or change.

The kids asked David for 50 cents. He said he didn't have any change. This I could not dispell but I did know that he had money. In fact, he had $35 in $5 bills that I gave him for helping us move over our moving weekend. At first, I didn't say anything because I wanted to see how he continued the conversation with my children. Basically, I wanted to see if he offered up to break a five or not. He didn't so I told them to not bother asking him for anything even though he has a five dollar bill because he's stingy. My oldest asked me what stingy meant. I told her and then she started telling David he was stingy and told him what it meant. He said he knew what it meant but I'm not completely sure he understands the full meaning and reasoning why people are called stingy. I told him he could easily break one of those fives and get fifty cents each for my kids. He said, "I'm saving that money." I was like, "What fucking for?!" He said, "I owe Dad and Uncle Donald money." I said, "For what could you owe your Dad for? And I remember you owe Donald for the porn you purchased on his digital cable program." Funny thing, it's soft porn so there is no showing of penetration. What a waste of money but I guess he is a teenager and porn is porn. LOL! I told him, "David, what are you going to with the $35 if you were to die right now? Nothing! Because you can't take it with you!" Dumbass!

A few minutes or so pass and David makes a quizzical look like "Hm, maybe I do have change in my pockets." He has pants that have like for pockets in the front - two in the normal hip area and two on the thighs. He reaches into the right hip pocket and pulls out a quarter and gives it to my oldest. He reaches into the left hip pocket and pulls out another quarter and gives it to my youngest. I tell, "I cannot believe you blatantly lied to my kids right in front of me!" He says, "I didn't lie." I said, "David, you said you didn't have ANY change and then you pull out fifty cents from your two pockets. How can you say you didn't lie?" He says, "I didn't lie. I didn't know I had that change in my pocket." Now, if you knew David as I do, you'd know he's lying to me because he KNOWS when he has money in his possession or not AND he knows when people owe him money - that's a family gene passed on from one generation to the next.

Anyway, I try to explain to him the simplicity of the issue. I said, "David, you told my kids that you didn't have ANY change and now all of a sudden you have two quarters. So, you lied!" "No, I didn't," he says. He never can take any responsibility for his actions. Never! Anyway, a few seconds later he reaches into the right hip pocket and pulls out another quarter and then does the same with the left hip pocket giving one each to my kids. Again, I tell David that he lied! He went from not having ANY change to fifty cents and now a dollar in change!

I told him he was true to his last name. Most of my family are self-centered and stingy. If they do help, it's not out of pure kindness and generosity. It is out of what favor can you do for them later since they did a favor for you now. I, on the other hand, help those that I feel deserve it without expecting anything in return except for the respect that I deserve. If that respect turns out to be monetary or a favor later, then so be it but it's not expected. If someone helped me, I would help them if I could out of respect and a sense of obligation.

Anyhow, I wasn't too pleased once again with the attitude of David. I appreciate all his assistance with the move and all but I think he begins to wear on me a little bit when I see more and more of his asshole-ness! That little bitch gets the royal treatment when he's over my house. I buy him lunch and/or dinner at restaurants or my wife cooks very good meals that he eats as well. He gets to drink sodas, milk or whatever else I might have in the fridge. He plays on my computers, my game consoles and watches my cable television. All free of charge. What more could he ask for lazy ass bastard!

So, I get home later in the evening and I tell this story about Cici's to my wife. She razzes David about it as well. We start saying things like, "David, I got milk in the fridge but you can't have any because I'm saving it" or "David, you can play my video games until I go to bed because I'm saving my electricity" or "David, I have steak and soda in the fridge but you can't have any because I'm saving it!" I still don't think he got the point of his stupidity at Cici's and I'm sure he thought it was all fun and jokes. He's got another thing coming.

So, that's the disrespectfulness by David #1. Oh, there have been other times but those were further in the past and we'll just stick to more recent ones. I'll post another which is basically a continuation of the day I was telling Donald and Robbie about the Cici's incident.

Friday, July 22, 2005

I’m a CSI watching whore

I am such a CSI whore that I am missing precious sleep to watch this friggin' show. I try to watch all the shows...CSI (Las Vegas), CSI: Miami and CSI: New York.

I just got done watching a CSI: Miami. It was a rerun. I watched it on A&E.

What sucks about it is that the reruns comes on at 10 p.m. Which means I watch it until 11pm and I don't get into bed until sometime after that. By the time I fall asleep, it's like midnight-thirty. Then morning and wake-up time comes at 7 a.m. I go to work, come home and the hell starts all over again for the next rerun.

Between CSI, Law & Order and a few WB/MTV shows, I'm a walking zombie!

I may need to seek professional help!

Public toilets #2

RE: this previous post.

Here are a few pics of my works fancy, smancy restrooms:

These are the stalls:


This is a fancy sconce-dilly-thing by the sinks:


This is the fancy light fixture in the middle of the restroom:


The urinals:

Pussy wagon


Did I mention that my Jeep is a major pussy wagon?

Yeah, just about every other day I come out of the office at work for lunch or going home and I have it in my Jeep. Big ones, medium ones and tiny ones.

Damn stray cats are getting hair all over my back seat!

What did you think I was talking about? Pervs!

Jimmy Neutron / The Tick

I don't know if you have had the chance to watch this show but it is pretty funny, even for adults. "The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius" has a particularly funny character named Sheen. Sheen is a ditzy, clueless good friend of Jimmy. The things they write for him to say are pretty funny. I can't help but let my simple mind make me laugh.

There was also this one show that I loved about 5-10 years ago maybe? Anyway, it was called "The Tick." I think they have it running on cartoon network or something like that now but I'm not sure if it's reruns or new episodes. Loved it though!

Wouldn't you like to know?

If the link doesn't expire, see the story here.

Basically, this toilet will analyze urine for STDs and have the results sent to your cellphone via Bluetooth.

You diseased whores (males and females) are busted now!

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Please clean up after yourself

Could you imagine how funny this would be if it was posted in one of those adult store theater room-thingies?
 

Background descripts on a friend or two

...for a future post — beware long post ahead.

I went to lunch with an old friend and he asked me a question I didn't really expect.

First some background on the friend. I've known said friend for about twenty years. His name is Shawn. We are about a year apart in age. We've known each other since junior high school although we didn't become really good friends until after he graduated. We had a mutual friend, Keith, that they graduated together and we were really good friends with and eventually we become really good friends as well. Keith went into the Marines shortly after graduation. Shawn lived in a hell hole with his step-dad while attending roughly two years at TCU. He moved into my parents house while I was still living there and then we ended up moving out together into our first apartment. Keith eventually got married a few years after being in the Marines. We were both in this Keith's wedding - I was the best man Shawn was a groom's man.

I had a long-term girlfriend since the Halloween after my graduation. She was a sophomore when I was a senior but we didn't actually start dating dating until after I graduated and pursued her the following year. Shawn was a senior when she was a sophomore. They kind of got to know each other better since I was friends with Shawn and my girlfriend and eventual wife was in choir with Shawn so they became friends as well.

Shawn had some other close friends that he hung out with and so did I while also having the closer mutual friends such as Keith. Shawn was a quiet, goofy guy. He isn't ugly but he's not eye-catching either. He always said that if a girl could get past his looks and he had the chance to talk with her and she got to know his personality that they'd find out what a great guy he was. Well, things didn't always work out like he planned. He'd go to parties with his other friends - I mean they were my friends too but not close friends, just friends that I knew from high school and got to know better as Shawn and I became better friends. Anyway, they'd go to drunken-fest parties with the intentions to get drunk and laid. The first was typically occurred more often than the latter. I didn't drink plus I had the girlfriend alreay and was completely content with hanging out with her at the apartment. Occasionally, Shawn would come home with stories about his party escapades. The time he almost shagged a black girl he was giving a glorious massage too while she was on her belly topless but he struck out. We've also had the luck of hearing about the pity shags he's had as well. Who was getting pitied - him or her - is the question but nonetheless he was happy to get some!

Over the years, I had to move back home because of finances and he got some interesting roommates with some high school buddies and his brother. In one apartment there was like 4 guys and a girl sharing a two bedroom, two bath apartment. He wasn't happy and we tried to help him get out of the crappy situation.

The girlfriend and I eventually moved in together during her junior year of college. We got an apartment in the same complex Shawn and I had shared our second "bachelor" pad in.

Shawn had moved to share an apartment with a girl he had been shagging for a while. It was a decent relationship for a while but she was a major whore and ended up sleeping with Shawn's very good friend Alan in the hot tub by the pool a few times and then in the apartment while Shawn was at work. They worked different hours so they didn't see too much of each other after the first few months or so of the relationship. Of course, Shawn didn't find out about these escapades for many years to come when out of the blue one day, Alan came clean for some reason. Who knows why because you'd have to know Alan to understand he screws anything that moves and screws over anyone he knows. Anyway, I helped Shawn move out one day while this girl was at work and he moved into his own apartment. For the first time, he had an apartment all to himself.

Shawn's one bedroom was right around the corner from our two bedroom. We worked about half a mile from each other so he and I would car pool to and from work. Basically, I drove my vehicle most of the time because Shawn drove a falling apart Volkswagen Beetle. In the morning, I drove my Jeep, swung by his apartment, dropped him off a work and then went on to my office. In the afternoon, I left the office, swung by his work, dropped him off at his apartment and then went to mine. I look back now and I think I have always done more in this friendship! LOL!

Eventually, Shawn moved in with us into another two bedroom apartment in the same complex. It was financial more feasible for all of us. We shared this apartment for some time and then we started thinking that as much as we were paying in rent to an apartment we could rent a house. We started looking around for a rental house. You'd be amazed at how much some people want for rent in their shithole of a house! It baffled me.

In October of 1995, the girlfriend and I got married. People thought it was weird that we still were planning on our current living arrangement with Shawn. Why would we change? I mean we weren't rich like some people so the extra person to split the rent was a bonus for us. Besides, we had been together for so long that we were used to it.

Shortly after marriage—a few months or more—we found a rent house in Hurst, Texas. It was a three bedroom, two full bath, den, living, two car garage and big back and front yards. We were living the "high life".

In 1996, my wife helped Shawn get a job at the campus he and I work at now. She had worked there since her freshman year of college and eventually got a full-time job there which helped pay for her final two years of school. Anyhow, she helped him get out of a shit hole job and life - he got laid off from his job we used to car pool to and from and then he was working in some warehouse/delivery place that he hated but knew he had to make money so dealt with it.

A year later in 1997, my wife and I had our first child. Shawn was as excited as we were and he always thought he was going to be the godfather. Little did he know I already had sensed some change in attitude from him regarding his personality, living situation and all. So, I never offered because I just had this feeling of things going awry. A few months after working at the college, he was sort of making new friends and hanging out in the "college" aura that he thought he loved and missed so much. If Shawn didn't have a girl and he never really found that "it" girl he was wanting to party and drink with the college crowd to scope the potentials. Although, what kind of girl would he expect to find going to bars, concerts, raves and the like. All you find out those places are hos and one-night stands. But he wouldn't listen to anyone. Guided by his pecker, I guess.

A few months after our first was born, Shawn came to tell us that he wanted to move out. He felt he wanted to move closer to his work - the college campus in Dallas. All I heard was "I'm fucking you over because I feel like I need to be in the college crowd." What a thought for a 25 year old (at the time), huh? I didn't expect him to live with us forever but I also know that he agreed to hang with us for a while after the baby was born.

So, basically he screwed us. Our rent was like $750 month plus utilities. I had a car payment of $168/mo with insurance running about $175/mo. I was making like $26K/year. My wife was working and making about $18-$20K/year. She had student loan payments. I had credit card payments and we had expenses from the new baby.

Luckily for Shawn, his brother, Bryan, was getting out of the Navy and they ended up living together in a two bedroom on-campus apartment. Before this time, Shawn would seem to live vicariously through the escapades of his other friends and brother. He would tell about how they would pick up random chicks (whores) and sleep with them that night or the next and then move onto the next one. Shawn was more quiet and reserved although all of us men wouldn't enjoy the occasional meaningless sex. I think this moving to the college campus was an attempt for him to find that "gigolo-esque" lifestyle he longed for. It didn't happen!

We were still pretty good friends and we would go out to his apartment in Dallas or he would come to our house in Hurst and eventually our house my parents bought next door to them in Euless, although the times where he'd come out started becoming few and far between. He and I started learning to rollerblade back in like '92 or thereabouts and we continued to find venues to play pickup roller hockey. We had set aside Tuesdays and Thursdays and then sometimes Mondays and Wednesdays to play. Eventually we found a free outdoor rink to play at in Bedford but it would depend on how the weather was the day or so before and the day of. It wasn't maintained so if it rained heavily the day before it typically wasn't dry enough to play the next day.

Anyway, point is he started bailing on this activity we had set aside to do together along with the weekly tennis on Saturday mornings. He bailed on the Saturday morning tennis way before the roller hockey, mainly because he usually had to work late and then later it was because he was the designated driver for his eventual girlfriend...

(post to continue here...)

...Continue with friend background

This is a continuation of this post

To make a longer story shorter, he basically started kicking me to the curb in hopes of getting laid. Granted I can see his need and desire but I would never shaft a friend over the poonani. Never have. Never will. And all my friends and family can vouch for that, even my wife will!

Anyway, I was getting tired of putting out all the effort and not getting the respect I deserved from being a great, long-term friend. I kept telling him I was kicking him to the curb but he didn't believe me and neither did my wife. I was serious but she would invite him here and there on occasion. I stopped inviting him to my family and other friends' get togethers because to me I believed he hadn't earned the respect and courtesy anymore.

I'm a bitter person, ask anyone that knows me well.

A girl, named Theresa, that used to work with my wife, ended up getting her job after my wife quit and then she became friends with Shawn. Due to certain circumstances, she ended up moving in with him and his brother.

Years passed and secrets were kept - mainly his from us. We've always shared everything...Shawn, the wife and me...but he had become secretive and dishonest. Turns out he had been boinking Theresa for years by the time he came clean. We assume he was embarrassed or something. I guess we'll never really know. We do know that the sex was convenient for both of them although her sexual partners probably doubled, even tripled, his partners.

We tried to help them find out what they wanted to do with their relationship because he really wasn't sure, at least that's what he told us while telling her something else. I know from knowing Shawn for such a long time that Theresa is not the type of girl he desired or ever wanted. Shawn had this image of his "perfect" girlfriend and bride and Theresa definitely wasn't anywhere close to it!

Shawn and I have still communicated with each other and done things like the occasional roller hockey game—he joined the Over30B league that I joined some years ago but got on another team and then we were on a team in another league and so on and so on.

So, to finally cut things short, they are getting married in September 2005. MISTAKE!

Theresa and my wife on the other hand have not been in communication with each other since the outing of their relationship and not knowing what they wanted to do. At that time, Theresa said she loved Shawn and Shawn told us he didn't love her but then Theresa would say that Shawn told her he did love her.

That's the kind of lies and fantasies I couldn't handle with them anymore.

Anyway, I kept in communication with Shawn because we do have a lot of history together but I just didn't consider him a friend I would give my pinky finger for anymore. We're friends. We're cordial. We have the occasional good time or lunch together but other than that I don't care what he does with his life and I don't care how those decisions affect him. We tried to give him(them) help but they didn't want it, so that's the gist of it. We're friends with history but not close friends anymore.

Well, I got some interesting news the other day. He wanted to go to lunch. I was wondering what was up but it's not like we haven't gone to lunch once in a while before. We had lunch at Taco Bell and discussed random things but nothing of extreme interest or out of the ordinary. I was dropping him off in front of his building on the way to mine - yes, I was driving as always - and he asked me if I would be in his wedding. I'm assuming as a groom's man but he wasn't exactly clear what he wanted me to be in his wedding. He mentioned his brother, Bryan, had asked who was the best man. Shawn joke there would be four bachelor parties, assuming from four groomsmen, and the best party giver would be the best man. I don't know about me giving him a bachelor party but I told him I'd be in his wedding.

Again, I don't know exactly what he meant by "be in my wedding" but I guess I'll find out. It is only July. I guess it wasn't as weird as I initially thought when he asked because, as mentioned, we have a lot of history. Because of this history and we are still "friends," I will agree to be in his wedding.

If it requires me to pay for anything or do anything, I may have to drop out. I didn't make anyone in my wedding party, Shawn included, do anything but come and get fitted for the tux. I picked up the tab for all my groomsmen.

So, anyway that was the "big" news. We'll see how things go. I'm sure I'll post about it.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

2nd roller hockey game

I had my second Adult Copper roller hockey game tonight. We won, 6-5, thanks to me. My brother wasn't there. He was out of town on business or something and his flight wasn't coming back until 8:30 p.m. which is when our game was.

I scored 4 out of the 6 goals.

We actually would have had an easier time winning if we had a decent goalie. Two times now we have had guys that play forwards for other teams but work for the facility we play at be our goalie. They put out pretty decent effort but they aren't goalies. So, the 5 goals the other team scored weren't exactly quality goals. Although the guy that was subbing as our goalie didn't do half bad. He had a few really good stops.

I just thought I'd jot down that useless boring thought before I went to bed. I'm tired but jazzed up from my game. I hate it when this happens.

I'm out!

The family tree

I didn't want to get caught up in naming family members but it's so hard to keep them straight for the uninformed because there are so many. So, I decided to draft a rough family tree but using numbers such as #1 sister for the first born and first sister, #2 brother for the second born and first brother, #3 brother for the third born and second brother, etc. You with me?
  • #1 sister
    • #1 niece
      • a daughter
    • #3 niece
      • a son
      • a daughter
      • a daughter
      • a son
    • #5 niece
  • #2 brother
    • #1 nephew
      • a daughter
      • a son
    • #2 nephew
    • #4 nephew
  • #3 brother
    • #2 niece
  • #4 sister
    • #4 niece
      • a son
    • #3 nephew
    • #6 niece
  • #5 brother
  • #6 brother
    • #5 nephew
  • #7 brother - ME
    • a daughter
    • a daughter


I wonder if this will really help end confusion when I refer to my family members.

We'll see.

Monday, July 18, 2005

Birthday cake at work

The office just got me a really rich and chocolaty cake for my birthday. I think each piece I cut was about 1 1/2in by 1 1/2in square and weighed like a pound each!

It had chocolate and caramel frosting. Death in disguise of a cake! Good times to follow.

I was thinking about my past birthdays while at my job the past six years. I've been able to miss them celebrating my birthday for four of those six years. It's not that I hate getting older because I'm only 34 years old now.

Sometimes when they do birthdays they do it because they feel obligated because they celebrated other people's birthdays in the office so they can't very well not do it for everyone. I don't look for this acceptance but luckily for them they actually like me as a person and coworker so what they do is true and not out of some shallow obligation.

I do a lot for this office, the entire facility at times, and it's nice to be honestly appreciated at times. Although it would be much nicer to be appreciated for my hard work around review time. They're not generous with the raises but it's not because I suck. It's because the campus I work for and the school I work for in particular are puckered-ass tight wads!

But that's another story.

In general, birthdays to me are just another day in my life that have been made much better for the past eight years because I get to share them with my wife AND kids. To see them be so excited to share in a birthday celebration so simple, just leaves me in sentimental awe. They helped baked a small batch of brownies and picked out a great card! We had one candle for the brownies and I asked them to help me blow it out after their rendition of "Happy Birthday." The pure, honest joy I see radiate from their faces is just so heart-warming that I could tear up now.

I'm such a girlie man! I guess I'd better get back to work before people see this big ol' cry baby and wonder if I need some professional psychiatric attention.

Email humor 07/18/2005

The Pentagon announced today the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the U. S. REDNECK SPECIAL FORCES (USRSF).

These North Carolina, Kentucky, West Virginia, Mississippi, Missouri, Arkansas, Alabama, Georgia, Texas and Tennessee boys will be dropped into Iraq and have been given only the following facts about Terrorists:
  1. The season opened today.
  2. There is no limit.
  3. They taste just like chicken.
  4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music or Jesus.
  5. They are DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE for the death of Dale Earnhardt.
  6. There are free guns and ammo for this season.
  7. There will be free kegs.

Sunday, July 17, 2005

Man how time flies

Today just breezed on by.

I woke about 10:30 a.m. this morning after a late night. I didn't feel fully rested and refreshed but I pressed on to get my butt out of bed.

I cleaned my room a little more. Took out some trash. Changed out the dryer power cord and hooked it up. Backed up a few of my personal DVDs - this has actually taken me a few days and nights because it's a lengthy process if you use the free tools out there instead of the all-in-one purchase products which combine the free tools into a nice package for you.

Anyway, before I knew it 4 p.m. had rolled around and then 6 p.m. and so on. Shit how time flies when you are busy doing something useful or not. My wife would say that I'm not doing something useful but my computers are being used by me so to me it is somewhat useful. OK, no more rambling...

I told my wife she had until 7pm for us to watch "Miss Congeniality" or I was going to watch it without her. She said she could watch it now (it was around 6:30 p.m.) but I told her I wasn't finished with what I was doing. I only gave it until 7 p.m. because I didn't want to be up late because I had work the next day. Since I haven't had good sleep or gone to bed at a decent hour, I didn't want to cause myself to stay up late again. Obviously by the time on this post, it didn't happen. Anyway, we started the movie about 7:10 p.m. and finished shortly after 10pm. Mainly because of the following:

Around 8ish and roughly just after starting the movie, my wife and kids baked me some quick bake brownies, put a Crayola-styled candle in it and sung me a wonderful rendition of "Happy Birthday." It went something like this...
Happy birthday to you (cha cha cha)
Happy birthday to you (cha cha cha)
Happy birthday dear Dad - dy (cha cha cha)
Happy birthday to you (cha cha cha)
All with butt shaking moves! Ha ha!

We started watching the movie again when we had some incident with the kids not getting along because one wants to play with the other but the other wants to play alone for some reason. It never ends. I think this problem occurred a few times today. It's usually because the oldest one wants to control the concept/dialog/plot of the playing and the youngest wants to add her own edits but the oldest wants it her way...and it goes on and on and on until someone's feelings get hurt and then there is screaming or crying and then mommy and daddy have to step in and set things straight.

So, after multiple interruptions, the movie concluded. It was actually a pretty decent movie. Funny and entertaining. Definitely worth renting on the Blockbuster movie pass!

Well, I'm tired and I've got to get up early for work tomorrow. It's another Monday on the start of the second half of my life.

Meaning: I have told my wife that I don't believe my life will be longer than sixty-eight years. Of course, I could croak earlier but I'm sure my max is sixty-eight. Why you ask? Because my dad passed away at 68 two years later my mom passed away at 68. A couple of my dad's brothers croaked at 68 although one is 72ish but had a stroke at 68 and basically drools out of one side of his mouth. He's been in the hospital a few more times since so he's just biding his time. One brother of my dad is a "healthy" 70+ but 1 out of 5 brothers isn't good odds. My mother had a brother and sister die before they were 68 and her father died around 70.

The only thing in my favor is that I am more athletic and "healthy" than they all were. I exercise with tennis or roller hockey at least twice a week for 1-5 hours each. I could do more but I am a working father with two kids and it's tough to find time that fits my schedule, my wife's schedule and my kids' schedule. Hopefully, I'll find some peaceful medium and I can write that out as an excuse. I watch what I eat and exercise as often as I can (sort of) but nothing seems to help. It must be the genetic make up from my mom's side - she was Polynesian. Have you ever really seen a skinny Polynesian? The odds are like winning the Texas lottery. I'm destined to be pudgy! ;-)

Maybe I need TrimSpa, Baby! LOL!

Anyway, so the next thirty four years I had better make even more rocking than the first thirty four. I'm sure with the wonderful wife and kids I have it will be no problem!

Happy Birthday to me!

It's about 2:30am on Sunday July 17th. It's my birthday. I don't know exactly what time I was born but is it really that important anyway?

If you are wondering why I am up this late or early it's because I am watching the movie "Hide and Seek". I was up late already, about 12:15am, and decided to go ahead and watch the movie that I rented. Yes it could have waited until later in the day on Sunday but I have another movie to watch with my wife: "Miss Congeniality 2". If we don't watch it together on Sunday, I'm going to watch it without her because I'm kind of anal about the movies I rent and I've had this one for too long.

Anyhow, we were up until midnight because we had a little get together at our new place with my niece and nephew. My nephew, his wife and their twins and my niece, her husband and newborn child came over around 6pm or so. I grilled some burgers on the gas grill we have in our little back patio/yard area. They brought their drinks, we played cards after dinner and we had a grand old time.

Afterwards, the niece and family had to drive back to south Arlington, about a 45 minute to an hour drive, while the nephew and family had to drive back to Euless, about a 20-30 minute drive. The wife and I cleaned up the kitchen and dining room before she went to bed.

No there was no pre-birthday nookie for me! Oh well, there's hopes for tomorrow but not high hopes!

"Hide and Seek" wasn't that good of a movie. It was pretty slow at the start and didn't really get too interesting until about half-way to three-quarters of the way through the movie. It had an interesting twist to it but it wasn't something that wasn't that difficult to catch. Parts of the movie seemed somewhat stolen from "The Shining" but with this particular director's twist. Anyhow, borrow from a friend or rent it cheap—very cheap!

I'm going to bed now.

Saturday, July 16, 2005

Oddball at the office

I posted this on a very old blog page that I created on my home webserver but thought I'd let others read it since I no longer run the server and this person no longer works with me because of credit card theft...

Have you ever noticed that there is always this one person at the work place that is odd? Not just odd but downright freaking weird! I think anyone that has worked in an office for an extensive amount of time runs into a person like the one that I'm about to describe.

I've been working at my current place of employment for about five years. Over these five years, I've had about eight different "offices." I currently sit in an open area of our offices that has been separated by cubicle walls. I actually share a wall with one coworker.

The other cubicle is an entity on it's own and it houses the "oddball."

The first thing I noticed about him was that he tended to stutter. Not stutter like Mel Tillis - for those of you that can relate - but he would start a sentence and get halfway through it and he'd start it over again. I think it's more because he's trying to find a way to say something more clever or witty. Instead, he sounds like a babbling idiot and when he finally gets the words out it's not witty or clever because you are so pissed that it took him so long to say it.

Now I'm not a complete ass and calling him odd because he stuttered. You'd really have to experience it firsthand to know what I mean. Another thing he would do is make quirky sounds. He'll get an email or a phone call and he'll make a sigh like "huh?" Like he's never supposed to get an email or phone call. Or he'll laugh to himself or presumably at something he read in an email or on the internet. I'm not sure since his cubicle entrance does not face me. Thank God! He makes a lot of quizzical noises or noises in general.

Once again, it's something you have to experience personally to get the full annoyance of it all. The latest thing is really the worst.

He falls asleep at his desk on a daily, almost hourly basis. No kidding! I mean he's kind of nodded off a few times about seven months ago while I will be talking to him, asking questions but these latest episodes are just way too bizarre.

Most of the time I can block out things and I am used to blocking out this person's quirks and qualms. I have another coworker that sits next to me, the one I share a dividing cubicle wall with that it tends to really bother, mainly because she gets to seem him in all his disgusting glory because the entrance to her cubicle sort of faces the entrance to his cubicle. Occasionally, we don't need line-of-sight to know that he's sleeping. Sometimes he'll fall asleep with his head back and you can hear what we have dubbed the "wind tunnel." Basically, his heavy breathing while he's asleep. Usually he's got his chin resting on his chest when he falls asleep but lately it's about half and half.

Anyway, I here the "wind tunnel" and I know my coworker is going to hear it. I know it's going to bother her and then it bothers me that it is bothering her. I probably haven't explained it clearly but it's like I have angst for him knowing she is going to hear it. It is just weird and difficult to explain in words. Luckily for us, not him, the bosses have noticed. Not only has our direct supervisor noticed - we share the same supervisor - but the boss of the entire office has busted him as well. Unfortunately, she didn't bust him personally. She saw him and went to tell his supervisor. Who in turn went to wake him up. I wasn't there when "the awakening" commenced but I heard that she literally had to shake him, hard, back and forth. Even though he has experienced this "awakening" by his boss, it hasn't stopped him from falling asleep at his desk. It's gotten so bad that his ass falls asleep within an hour of him arriving at work. I know that narcolepsy isn't "catchable." I don't know if it's genetic or something but I know it's not one of those things you all of a sudden "get." You would also think that he would have some inkling that he may have a problem. I mean he falls asleep, wakes up on his own or is woken up by someone in the office, and then more than likely falls asleep again.

Personally, it's not my problem or my business but they should require him to go to the doctor to see what the hell is going on. As I've said, it's getting a little out of hand with the daily nodding off while at work. Luckily for him, it doesn't affect his work too much since there isn't too much work for him to do right now. Even so, you NEVER let your superiors see you sleep!

Along with the sleeping, he's just all around weird, almost creepy. It's like he has stalker tendencies. Sometimes he'll walk into the entry way of your cube or office and just stand there. Now, granted you may be engaged in a conversation on the phone or with someone in the office but most NORMAL people would knock on the door or make their presence known. He just stands there and stands there. Sometimes I've seen him stand without the person he's waiting on seeing him for a good 10 minutes.

I guess the final freaky thing he does is he wears the same damn outfit ALL the time. Now I have 3 pairs of pants and about 9 shirts that I cycle through to wear for work but never do I wear the same combination within the same week. This person has so far gone on a 10-day-wearing-the-same-outfit spree. Of course, you could pass this off as a uniform in some businesses or schools but we are not required or expected to wear a uniform. Now, I know what it's like to be pretty much poor compared to others at work and sometimes you may have to wear the same pants and/or shirt to get by for that day. The problem lies in the fact that his ass smells! My assumption is he's able to bathe because he's got an apartment. Most apartments have a bathroom. I figure that he has to do laundry at the laundry mat, either in the apartment complex or in a shopping center somewhere. I think he's just not doing any laundry. It's quite disgusting. Luckily, I haven't been privy to his stench but a few of my coworkers have. Needless to say, this is what I have to deal with at work.

So, if you think your coworker is bad, just read this and then you'll know someone else shares your pain.

Friday, July 15, 2005

A punk-ass nephew and other stories of the day

As previously mentioned in another post, my nephew James Michael offered to help us move but then bailed on us the day of without even making an excuse as to why he wasn't going to help.

I stopped by my parents' house this evening. I had to take the nephew, David, that did help me and has been helping me since in some form or fashion home to get his pills refilled. He has very bad skin allergies. He can touch a cat hair and he will break out in a rash. It's a tough thing, I'm sure, to deal with because he's always got rash and scabs. A lot of it also has to do with him being a "picker" - a person who picks the scabs off wounds or sores because it's fun. LOL!

Anyway, his father - my oldest brother - lives in my parents' house since they have passed on. I refer to the house as my parents' because that is what it is and will always be:  my parents' house. My brother "maintains" it and lives there with another brother the third-born son as well as my oldest brother's middle and youngest children.

You still with me?

James Michael and David hang out sometimes playing video games or frisbee golf. James Michael is going to be 21 in November and David is 16. They have been close for years so they have similar interests and David sort of looks up to James Michael as the 'cool' cousin since they became teenagers. Usually James Michael will hang out at my parents' house just to hang out because his parents' house sucks! That's according to him. I guess he doesn't get spoken to about laying around doing nothing at my parents' house like he does his but it's not like it does any good. They yell at him and he continues to sleep and bum around. Always has and he probably always will in some form.

Well, tonight, James Michael wasn't anywhere to be found at my parents' house and they hadn't seen him for a few days. I'm sure he's trying to avoid the odd chance that he may run into me. I have thought many times about how I want to lay into his ass about what a piece of crap he is but then I figure why waste my time. It isn't going to matter. It never has. He's finally come to terms that he's worthless trailer trash like his sister and a couple of other cousins and/or family members. It must be genetic.

I talk with my brother and nephew, Robbie, about James Michael bailing on me. Robbie tells me that the Thursday day James Michael did have to work because he took him there. Thursday night he was over my parents' house and slept overnight. Friday he WAS at my parents' when we called to see if he was coming to help. In fact, Robbie said they went to play frisbee golf together on Friday. They don't know for sure what he did on Saturday or Sunday but he was around and probably could have helped me if he knew what respect was.

All this just pissed me off more. As mentioned, it's not the fact that he didn't help. It's the fact that he emphatically said he would be there for us and he wasn't! Add that to the fact he obviously bailed on me because he had "fun" things to do, pisses me off even more especially after all the shit I have done out of family love for his ass! Well, no more! He's on the "don't give a shit about" list now.

So moving on...my brother (#4 born) was over there tonight with his boy. He was trying to get a form of his employer's web page to fill out because he's getting a promotion or something. He called my cell phone while we were on our way out and I told him I would be there shortly to help him out. The form downloads only in PDF or DOC format. On his machine at home, he doesn't have MS Office or Adobe Reader. I told him how he needed to progress and the oldest brother gave him an install CD of MS Office 2000 premium edition to install MS Word.

His boy was playing with my kids and he didn't want to leave. He's got this pouting thing he does when he doesn't get his way. He makes a pout face and crosses his arms and won't talk to anyone or give them a hug good-bye. I always make him and he doesn't like it. Cracks me up because he's just like his father and the problems my bro is going to have with him when he grows up is funny to think about now.

Well, I guess that's the uninteresting/interesting things of the day. I've got to get back to setting up my computer room. I'm having withdrawals from not being able to play games or surf the net on my desktop in the comforts of my own chair at my own desk.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Lack of sleep

...finally caught up with me.

I went to bed last night with a headache. I took some aspirin before I went to bed hoping I'd be better by the time I woke to get ready for work. It didn't work! I woke with a headache still. In fact, it was a little worse than the night before. I took some strong prescription medication before I left for work. Once I got to work, I went to get some breakfast because I was hungry and I didn't want the medication to do a number on my stomach. I've never taken it on an empty stomach so I didn't know what to expect but I knew it probably wouldn't be something I'd want to go through at work.

About midday, I felt much better but still had a hint of a headache in the back of my noggin just waiting to jump forward and cause me excruciating pain! It's okay though. I've dealt with it for years. As James Dalton, aka Patrick Swayze, said in Road House - "Pain don't hurt."

Luckily work wasn't that hard or stressful. It never really is. It's just long and boring. After work I got home and was going to run some errands that needed to be handled but around 6:30 p.m, the migraine came. It was one of those that make your eyes squint, not so much from the bright lights increasing the pain but just the pain itself giving me a constant furrowed brow

Good times!

I just kind of laid around. My kids wanted me to take them bike riding but it just wasn't going to happen. I felt bad for disappointing them but I really didn't have much say so in the matter. I know the headache came because I haven't slept well in the new place. I don't think it's so much the new place as it is I just haven't gotten to bed early enough these days and then I don't sleep well.

We went down from a king-sized bed to a queen-sized bed. Now instead of being able to spread eagle, my knees touch my wife's. Gross! Just kidding. I just haven't been able to get comfortable. It'll come. If I build it, it will come...LOL.

I still couldn't get to sleep early today because I had to watch them. My wife's last night of work for the week is tonight so it's just me and them. I let the kids play until about 10 p.m. I should have put them to bed earlier but I'm such a slacker and it's the summer. Plus, on the days when they are playing so well together, it's tough to make them stop for bed time at 8:30 p.m.

So, I'm still in pain and I'm typing in this freaking blog. How stupid is that? I'm outta here!

Public toilets

I just came back from the restroom down the hall from my office and I had a thought before I plopped my butt down to drop a log. I wondered how many people have I heard say or write [in blogs or whatever] that they absolutely refuse to sit on a public crapper either for #1 for women or #2 for women and men.

I can't exactly call my work's crapper a 'public' crapper as it's not in a shopping mall or even in a big business. It's in the first floor of a building on campus that has three other men's restrooms on the 2nd, 3rd and 4th floors. At this time, the campus is pretty dead since it's the summer so the restroom hasn't seen a whole hell of a lot of action.

Anyhow, people would mention about how they think these public toilets are gross. I must agree but you haven't see our toilets. They were redone about six months ago - high-society corporate-style. Where there were three stalls separated by the metal partitions you'd see in an elementary school restroom, there are now two stalls. Each with their own special "room" with a wooden door, a soft-glow light, a heat-sensitive auto-flush toilet and a hat/coat hook. Pretty fancy, smancy!

All in all, they are pretty well kept. We have a cleaning crew that saunters about the buildings keeping things 'clean.' From the male perspective, occasionally there may be a deposit someone couldn't get to flush or just was a disgustingly, lazy bastard and wanted others to relish in his heinous creation. Either way, I typically don't get too worked up about having to use the crapper at work. I'm pretty germaphobic like most people, especially parents, and I always check for bodily secretions that I would not want to sit in or even touch with the toe of my shoe!

Today, I was reminded of one of the times I was disgusted by what I saw in the office restroom. No, it wasn't a fecal beaver dam or a Van Gogh-like picture made in the colors of brown and yellow. It was ass sweat! Yes, folks, ass sweat! The previous occupant had apparently literally sweat his ass off while dropping a load! It wasn't so disgusting because of the sweat residue itself. What made it worse was that within the sweat residue you could see the outlines of ass and thigh hair. No lie!

What to do. A fecal dam in the toilet you can usually flush and get rid of. But this was ass sweat on the toilet seat, a seat that is supposed to help protect you from the germs by keeping your butt and legs from touching the porcelain of the toilet bowl. Should I take the time to get wads of toilet paper and wipe it down for me to use, all the while grimacing to myself that someone I know in the building and probably work with closely has nasty, sweaty, hairy ass? Or should I try to see what's behind door number two? Oh my gosh! Door number two has the ever dreaded fecal beaver dam! I couldn't take no more. I walked the two flights of stairs to the 2nd floor restroom that hardly anyone uses because only four men work on that floor and one has his own private restroom. It was as clean as a public/office restroom could be. Finally, I was able to get myself some relief!

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Will hockey return?

Hot off the sports wires (paper or electronic)...

The NHL players and owners have finally come to an agreement. An announcement may come today officially stating the end of the lock out!

I don't care what the terms decided were. I don't care who is getting a better deal — the players or the owners. All I care about it seeing some hockey!

I don't watch football, baseball or basketball (not since the Bulls' reigned) and tennis isn't exactly a "friends come and hang out" sport.

I want my hockey! I need my hockey! The original reason I got cable was because half the games are aired only on cable sports channels! Although for the past year for sure, cable has been for my kids.

I still need my hockey fix!

Moving across the street into a duplex

These are pictures of our duplex as seen the day of move-in.

















Moving day out of the "Gardens"

These are pictures of our old condo/apartment as seen the day of move-out.



















Tuesday, July 12, 2005

New roller hockey season

I am taking off the summer session in the Over30B league as is team Tornados. Which is a good thing because I didn't want them to go from a 6-1-1 season back to a 0-8-0 season without me. Seriously, that's what they were the season before I joined them. And they had lost their first game of our championship season. Since I joined the team, they went undefeated!

YES! I'm that good!

Anyway, my brother plays on an Adult Copper league (18yrs+ of sort of newbie skaters) with some of his Over30B team and they asked me to play with them. I was going to take the season off because the games are so screwy. They don't follow the typical same day every week format. Typically the Copper league plays on Thursdays but because it's condensed the game days will vary. Which sucks.

I am playing just because it's cheap ($60), I don't want to sit out too long before the next major session and I sort of enjoy playing on the same team as my bro. I feed him pass after pass and he misses. I don't usually get a good return pass because I don't think he knows what "pass" means in hockey.

It's all fun though.

Our first game was tonight. I only scored one while I think my bro score 2 or 3. I had about 20 shots on goal again but just couldn't put anything in! It was pissing me off! Anyway, about 5 minutes into the game, I felt a little bad for the team we were playing. Most of the team was, in my honest opinion, below my level of play. I got out there and was skating circles around them.

Yes, I didn't score a whole lot but in no way was it due to the defensive skills of the opposition. The more I got pissed about missing my shots the less I felt bad though. That's probably why I couldn't score. I was trying too hard but I finally got one and that's better than none.

We had a piss poor goalie. He typically plays forward or defense on an Over30A team but he subs as goalie as needed. We scored six on the opposition but they scored six too. They really didn't score so much as our goalie let the pucks go in.

I guess that's how the shit flows though. Like I said, it's all in fun right now because it's only six games with no playoffs. Basically, it's like playing adult pick-up.

It's good to be playing still. Something to do besides just sit around and vegitate!

Monday, July 11, 2005

Ooo...pretty colors

My kids and I were driving this afternoon after dropping off the wife/mom to teach and we saw this rainbow in the sky. The sky was dark and threatened rain but it never came down in our area! That's Texas weather for ya!






Saturday, July 09, 2005

More moving done

I was sore this morning. I knew I shouldn't have stopped moving yesterday until the wee hours because I knew I'd be sore and unmotivated but I needed to get some sleep. It was another hot ass day today! I loved it! I had to get some more crap out of the old apartment. Really all I had left was a few straggling pieces in all the rooms but my computer room. I had to pack and load my computer room. It was tedious because it's just a bunch of wires, computer accessories and your every-day basic crap! I was not looking forward to it. So, I just grabbed wires and such, stuck them into boxes and taped them shut. Packed it up and moved it out to the U-haul. I packed as much as I wanted into the truck and took it to the new abode. I unloaded and then took the truck back to the mini-storage I got it from.

Five hours, 74 bucks and change later, I was ready to eat a horse! I was really in the mood for some Chinese buffet! The kids were excited about it too! We decided to try a new place that we had seen near us. We have seen it in the past but were a little leery about going because the parking lot usually wasn't that full. To us that meant, it was not good. Well, today when we drove by the parking lot was pretty full so we decided to give it a try. After being sat, the wife and I went to make plates for each kid while my nephew sat with them at the table. This place was huge and had just as big of a selection to choose from. I returned to get me a plate once I was finished getting my child's plate. I piled the food on and ate it within ten minutes. I was starving and thirsty. I think I went through 4 diet cokes before my next plate. I even drank half of one of my kid's water! I took a break from stuffing my face before my next plate and began to realize something.

How is it that a Chinese restaurant has so many Hispanics eating in it? I'd have to say that at least 85% of the dining guests were Hispanic. And you know what the majority of them were eating? Oysters! I'm talking RAW oysters. Not smoked, cooked, baked or any of the above but RAW! Yuk! I'll eat some things raw but oysters was never something I particularly craved. Anyhow, I see that some of the Hispanic women are eating them as well as the men. WTF?! No wonder they have so many damn kids! You would think that since most of them barely make it above the poverty level that they would try to abstain from anything that makes them more horny than humans already are! Anyway, it is just odd to see that Chinese buffet is really food for the Hispanic community and not necessarily the Chinese community.

I was glad that I finish most of the "big" moving before we ate. I was stuffed and pretty much useless after eating. In fact, I would have probably shit myself if I tried to pick up anything heavy after eating so much. LOL! We got back to the duplex and sat around for just a bit. We had a lot to go through, unpack, set up and all. It's just as much a pain in the ass to pack as it is to unpack! I've been helping the wife with the living room, dining room, bedrooms and kitchen. Mainly just moving stuff around for her. I'll eventually get to my computer room, I guess. My mother-in-law and sister-in-law have both come over to help her unpack the dishes and such to help set up the rooms after I move the big things. Moving still sucks!

Friday, July 08, 2005

I hate moving

Today, with my ONE nephew's help, I spent moving. From 10:30 a.m. when I picked up the 26 foot U-haul until about 11pm. I am one tired sombitch! It just happened to be one of the hottest, most humid days of the summer so far. I was wondering if my nipples were lactating after moving a few boxes but it was just sweat!

I was supposed to have the help of another nephew. We'll call him James Michael because that's his name. A couple of weeks ago he sent my wife an instant message saying, "Whenever you guys move, I will be there to help!"

Well, my wife called him late this morning/early afternoon. I was surprised he answered the cell phone. She asked him what he was doing and he said, "just sitting here." She heard one of my nieces in the background and we assumed he was over my parents' house. He was going to come over last night (Thursday) to start helping me pack and some other minor things but he had to work Thursday day...but that night he was available.

Anyway, my wife asked him if he was going to come help us move. He said something about his battery being low. I think he was referring to the cell phone battery and not his car battery because he hasn't been driving his car for a few days or so. Basically, he was trying to make up some lame-ass excuse for not wanting to come help.

She told him that he said he would help and he said that we volunteered him. WTF is that crap? He instant messaged us about a week or two before we moved saying, "when you need to move, I'll be there!" Either way, the things I have done for that boy should have at least warranted the respect of him showing up to help!

Stupid, white trailer trash bastard!

I just couldn't believe that he kicked us to the curb like that. I never did anything for him that I expected things in return but some respect should have been a given to me for this weekend. He's always talking about what trash his older sister is but he just proved to everyone that he was no different. He screws over family just like she does.

I was so pissed that I could have killed his ass if I saw him that day or the next few. I still don't care to see him. If I saw him in a wreck on the highway and he was bleeding to death, I would feel no guilt in leaving him there like I never saw him.

Honest! I'm like that, ask my wife and family. I can cut you out of my life in an instant! If you have no respect for me or my family, then I don't need to associate with you. End of story!

Anyway, I moved most of my crap with my one nephew. It would have gone a lot quicker if we had more help but that's the way the world (and family and friends) screws you over. It was a long, hot day and it was going to continue tomorrow. I basically just have my computer room to pack and move. It's a lot of little shit like wires, monitors and stuff. It shouldn't take too long. I have to have the truck back by 4pm anyway so I have to be done by 3pm at the latest. I'm very tired now, so I'll type more later.

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Big brother is watching from everywhere


They recently put up some traffic lights near my parents' house at a major intersection. I was wondering what the point of the "spy" camera is. Big brother is always watching!

Texas weather is ever changing


Once again, the weather went from hot and sunny to hot, humid and rainy in a matter of hours.

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

A roller hockey CHAMPION!

Finally, after five seasons of Over30B roller hockey, I am on a championship team!

I can retire a winner now!

Monday, July 04, 2005

Today is our Independence Day!

We went to our friends’ house for the Fourth of July and it turned out to be a pretty fun day! We’ve known this couple and their children for 12+ years. I worked with him for about 7 years and we’ve played tennis almost every Saturday for 10+ years. We used to hang out more often when we lived closer but now since we are about an hour away from each other, we don’t get together as much. He and I still see each other on tennis Saturdays and occasionally during the week when we make a tennis date.

He’s typically pretty busy with work from 7 a.m. to 7 p.m. so there’s not much weekday tennis anymore. He is a division manager for a big freight trucking company and in that business you are expected to put in the time whether you need to or not. It’s about work and then image and then family with those types of companies. Hopefully, he’ll be able to cut back and enjoy daily life instead of having to wait until the weekends.

Anyhow, their neighbors have a pool and they are out of town in Jamaica and told our friends that they could use their pool while they were gone. Not too bad of a deal. So, we went over with the kids and they swam and had a blast. They didn’t want to leave even though we stayed from like 2 p.m. until about 9:30 p.m. It was a good time but most of us had work the next day.

I was supposed to make a stop by my oldest sister’s house. She invited over the family for food, fun and fireworks down the street from her if people stayed that long. I didn’t realize how late it was and before I knew it, it was pretty much too late to stop by. We called when we left our friends’ but everyone had already gone home. My kids got to see some fireworks displays as we were driving home. I felt a little bad about them not getting to sit and watch a display but I think they enjoyed hanging out with our friends’ kids and our friends’ friends’ kids. Confused? LOL!

Anyway, I think they were quite pleased with the day and night. I stopped by my parents’ house and dropped off my brother’s computer that I was working on. It’s basically a giant paper weight. I mean it runs and all but it is snail-ass slow! I think it was a 300MHZ Intel Celeron with 64MB RAM. If that doesn’t tell you how old it is, I don’t know what would. It was frustrating me just to wait 2-5 minutes between mouse clicks. I tried to talk him into getting a new one. He said he check on it the next day. He just uses it for his son’s games (he’s 3 or 4) and to check his email and do some work things in Lotus Works. I told him I could build something for him for about $300-$400. Not over the top, but definitely way better than what he has. We’ll see if he buys one or waits for me to build it. Either way, he can only get better than he has.

I got home around 11 p.m. and I was butt-ass tired. My kids were too! I didn’t have anything to do so I checked my email and went to bed. The wife had some things to do but I don’t know exactly what. She was working on her laptop though. I was lying in my bed and I was almost out when I heard my cell phone go off. I knew it was my brother whose computer I just dropped off because I got one of those phones that you can set different ring tones for different names in your phone book. I answer it and my brother can’t get on the internet with his crap machine. He is having withdrawals because it’s been a couple of weeks. He’s on dial-up still so to me he wasn’t missing much but for him since that’s all he is used to, he was missing it. I tried to walk him through some troubleshooting over the phone but, as mentioned, his machine is crap. I wanted to reload the software back to “from the factory” status but he didn’t leave me the disk when I picked it up this past Friday when he was out of town camping. I understand his frustration. I’ve been there many times. He finally said he was thinking very hard about buying a new one but he didn’t want to spend $800 for one. I told him if he spent that he’d have a machine that would last him for another 5 yrs or so for what he uses it for. But again, I said I could build one for about $400. He said he’d think about it and let me get some sleep and call me in the morning if he was going to buy one.

Finally, I put my head back down and was probably out within thirty minutes. I was beat down. Not so much from the wonderful Texas heat but because I hadn’t gone to bed before 1 a.m. Friday, Saturday or Sunday and got up the next mornings early. Saturday, I was up at 7:30 a.m. to go play tennis until 1:30 p.m. Sunday, I got up at 8:30 a.m. to watch the men’s Wimbledon final – which sucked royal ass by the way. Monday, I got up at 9 a.m. because the kids were hungry and I had to make scrambled eggs with jelly toast for them. We were out of milk so they couldn’t make breakfast (cereal) for themselves.

To some extent, we had a very eventful weekend! I could have used another day to just rest, relax and take it easy even more than I did!