Saturday, September 27, 2008

The Love Guru (2008)

The Love Guru (2008) I watched this the other night and found it entertaining.

It wasn't one of Myers' best works...not even close. It had funny moments, very funny moments and just down right stupid moments.

It's worth a $1 rental or a pilfering from a friend if they rented/bought it but I wouldn't say it's a "must see."

I did enjoy it and came away from it with one of the best sayings ("bumper" sticker) that I've seen in a long time. It's a pity these haven't been marketed outside the movie yet. I'd probably buy one. Check out the screen capture below.

Friday, September 26, 2008

Sex in the City

Not for least maybe not until late tonight.

I picked up Sex in the City: The Movie two days ago. I'm not a huge fan of the show although I have seen a few episodes. Before the movie made it to theaters, I had to rent the entire DVD collection for her to "recap" and I watch a few with her.

Anyway, I'll probably be watching "The Movie" later with the wifey and a lady or two from work.

Hopefully, that will give yours truly fringe benefits from the wifey later.

Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

I may have mentioned it before but college sucks!

I may have mentioned it before but college sucks!

This morning bright and early at 8 a.m. I started my first test in my operations management class. And boy was it a doosie! The damn thing was at least 7 pages long (I didn’t exactly count to make sure). It was only 13 questions long but each question was multi-part except for 5 questions that were multiple-choice.

I’m pretty confident I did well on all the questions except for one...because I didn’t even get a chance to answer it. I just went blank. I couldn’t believe that I couldn’t think of how to work the problem. I knew it was fairly simple but it just didn’t come to me. I thought and thought and thought and then the professor says, “You guys have about 5 minutes.” WHAT!? I knew right then I was screwed! That one question was worth 15 pts alone. So, I automatically start my grade at an 85. How great is that?

The problem wasn’t difficult but as mentioned I went blank. I did get home and was able to check my book and practice homework to see what I needed to do. It turns out the problem was just like one that the TA worked in our review session Monday night. That’s fucking great! I fucked up on a problem that I actually worked a little over 24 hours beforehand.

Thus, I can be labeled a complete DUNCE! Sheesh!

Oh well, I guess we’ll see how it goes when I get my expected disappointing grade. One positive is that she weighs our two highest exams at 80% and the lowest exam will constitute 10% of our grade. So, this could be my 10%. The last 10% is based off class attendance, participation, and quizzes.

(Thumbs crossed)

Sent via MS Outlook

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

How many times?

Can I take it in the ass from people who are supposed to be my friends?

So, I'm sitting in my CRV in the parking lot of a park where a "friend" and I play tennis often. It is in Colleyville and I drive from Dallas so it is only worth my drive if I for sure am playing...which is what, why and only the reason I ever drive out. I've been shafted once or twice before so I made it my "policy."

Well, I screwed that policy tonight!

My tennis buddy and supposed good friend emailed me to say he got a call to sub tonight for this league we sub for occasionally. He said that if I came out he'd bail on the doubles and we'd play singles.

Well, that didn't happen. I was fooled by his assurance, which I shouldn't have bee, because I know how white people are ALWAYS sticking it to people!

Now the nice guy part of me says we were both at fault. I didn't know he was here yet nor did he before he began the doubles. But then, to me, he should have bailed on the doubles once he knew I was there. I would have because he is my friend and these others are just acquaintances. Besides, I never would be in the predicament because I would have set plans with him before I accepted or denied the substitution offer.

I'm just that kind of guy and friend!

So here I ponder to stay or leave because I'm pissed off at another shitty friend. I already drove 30 minutes out here that I think I could just wait the two hours and kick his ass afterward when we play with a couple of other guys like we usually do. But then I think "what kind of dunce fuck would I look like to sit and wait after getting dicked?"

What to do, what to do?

If I stay, I'm going to play for me and then I won't honor any further requests by him to play. He doesn't push my skills anyway. I just play because we are friends and hanging out and playing is least it was.

Fucking friends. Who needs them? Especially when I already have shitty brothers and sisters that used to do the same until I cut them out of my life!

Fucking "friends"!

Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed

UPDATE: I decided to drive home and not play. I figured I would look like a chump and I could actually use the time to study for my ITOM exam 1 tomorrow morning bright and early at 8 o'clock a.m.

I talked it over with the wife and she knows that I'm the type of guy/friend that would have bailed on the doubles if I asked a friend to come out and play. That's just me. Apparently that's not my supposed good friend that I play tennis with. I truly think he didn't wan to bail on the doubles and look like an ass. I have no problem with that but he should have never asked me to come out and play as well. It's called double-planning and I had people who fucking do that because it always screws someone in the end. This time it just happened to be me.

Fool me once. Shame on you. Fool me twice. Shame on me!!

The new Knight Rider show

So, tis the year(s) for remakes and Knight Rider is no exception. Although it doesn't have quite the cheesy acting of the Hasselhoff, it is a similar story line: man drives car, man and car kick ass, man and car solve the crime, man gets to bed the hot chicks. Thing is, the hot chick in the show is on his side and she's really HOT!

Anyway, it's a decent show for now. It definitely isn't any worse than many of the other shows on television right now.

What's funny is the NBC web site says the premier is September 24th but I have already watch the first two episodes on Hulu. You also get to see some behind-the-scenes stuff and random clips of...stuff.

Here is the link to the shows on Hulu for as long as they last.

Anyway, enjoy!

Monday, September 22, 2008

Testing emailing from my new SPIFFY Blackberry

A week or so ago the wife and I upgraded cell phones and the plan. I can dig all this unlimited data/web/internet. Now if only I could get used to this smaller "full-size" keyboard I'd be good to go.

So, there was the test. I'm gone!

Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed

Sunday, September 21, 2008

A strained butt muscle

The Davis Cup semifinals between the United States and Spain ended in a blowout ass kicking for Andy Roddick by Rafael Nadal. You can read up on the story here but the thing that jumped out to my attention is this passage:
Nadal said after the match he nearly didn’t play because an MRI scan Saturday showed a strained buttock muscle.
If Nadal had to withdraw due to injury, how do you think he would have liked to be known as the guy who bailed due to a strained butt muscle!?

Now, that sounds funny!

By the way, in the article Roddick says that Nadal is the best clay court player and he (Roddick) isn't. I think Roddick would do better to realize that he is just a downward spiraling player...a one-shot pony...a has-been. Unless he is able to refocus like Agassi did, he should just hurry and get married so he can live off his earnings or his hot-model wife's!

Oh well!

Friday, September 19, 2008

Ace Ventura Pet Detective

Dude, I thought Ace Ventura Pet Detective was hilariously great. Jim Carrey was freaking hysterical.

Check out a GIF someone created.

Did I mention how much I hate working?

I do. It's a shitty thing that we are made to work to survive, especially if we have kids, a family.

Work isn't as welcoming as it used to be. It doesn't feel like it anyway.

I'm pissed. I'm bitter. I'm so easy-going that things roll off my shoulders at phenomenal speeds (usually) and I get over my pissed and bitterness. Some things I hold onto for a long, long time but others just kind of bounce off immediately or hang around for just a short time.

I don't think so today, especially since it's a culmination of a few days.

My immediate boss has push buttons that should not have been pushed. Not because I'm this unpushable button guy but because she crossed a line.

She complains to me about work and coworkers within our office using colorful language to do so. I try not to get sucked in because I can curse like a sailor with the best of them but I know it's not something I should not do at work especially with my immediate supervisor.

Anyway, I considered us on a friendly level...more than boss-underling...more like work friends. We weren't like this because I wanted it. I tend to distance myself because I know people will fuck me over. It is inevitable and always happens no matter who or what level of "friendship" you are on among yourselves. It pisses me off to get stabbed in the back or something of the like when I allowed them to be inside my "friend" web. Of course, these work friends aren't all the type of friends that I would go to world's end for. There are a couple but no more.

So, the other day I got out of my 8 a.m. class at 9:30 a.m. and I get a call from this sheet rock repair guy. We had some plumbing issues where the plumber had to cut in the wall and the sheet rock guy was coming to assess and fix the problem. He said he could meet right now (or then) otherwise it would be later in the day or even week. So, I made a judgment call. I came back into the office. My immediate supervisor was not at her desk so I told her equal counterpart that is sometimes a stand-in boss for me when the regular one is out of the office. I told the stand-in that I had to go home to meet the repair guy to let him in. She said, "Okay."

I didn't realize I'd have to stay there while they repaired the roughly 2' x 4' hole. They showed up to inspect it, took measurements and then went to get the supplies. They plugged the hole and then they had to seal and paint it. By the time this was completed, it was around 3 p.m. I emailed the boss lady and CCed the stand-in to let them know that I guess I will just take the full day as vacation since I had to pick my kids up from school at 3:30 p.m. and I didn't see any point in coming into the office for an hour afterwards. The boss lady replies saying, "Thanks for letting me know – was this a last minute issue? If not, you need to remember to ask for the time off in advance, even if it’s at the start of the day."

What the fuck is that!?

I felt like she is accusing me of making my own decisions on when I can take time off. I mean it would be nice but I know where I am on the food chain at work. That bitch pissed me off that day. I was reeling. After talking with the wife, I calmed a bit and then a few days passed and it slid under the rug. That was until she started talking to me the next day or so about her personal opinions, show watchings and such. I was like, "Why the fuck do I want to listen to you, bitch, when you just offended my intelligence?" Gah! I don't do a good job of letting all things go especially shit-ass statements from my supposed title only, not in overall intelligence!

A couple of weeks later, I've sort of moved on. I don't get personal on my side of the conversations but she still feels the need to talk to me. I'm just too nice of a guy, I guess. Except for today!

The boss is out of town the entire week. The stand-in is here. I have a class on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. I work through my lunch because the boss lady thinks I need to make up for that hour or so I am in class. Like that hour or any hour is that important in the grand scheme of things! It's not like we aren't in a slow time of the admissions cycle and there isn't much to do! I'm okay with it, to an extent. Basically, I deal with it until I complete my degree and then I'm going to be like, "What now, fuck sticks!?"

Anyway, the boss lady emailed the stand-in the other day this week saying something like, "[Jay] is supposed to be at his desk/office during this time but I couldn't get hold of him? Do you know where he is?" Again, what the fuck!? I know this about the email because the stand-in told me. In fact, I wasn't at the office because I was at the stand-in's house hooking up her new Bose DVD entertainment all-in-one system during what would be my work-thru lunch hour.

Oh well, it's the end of the day and I guess I'm done ranting. I got to go home and watch movies and hope that the weekend will help me mellow and forget and let it go.

I just need to ride it out and finish my degree in the next couple to three years and then give them the finger on my way out the door! I mean I don't have to leave but it would be nice to make them suffer since I can do all the people's jobs in my office but they can't do mine. That's sort of job security, right?

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Patrick "McDreamy" Dempsey

I remember when Patrick Dempsey was the token "geek" in his early movie career. Take for instance, Can't Buy Me Love and then Loverboy. He upgraded a little bit to a not so geeky geek in Run.

Fast forward a few years (or more) and you get him in Grey's Anatomy as "McDreamy". What a role change for him!

Anyway, I just thought it was interesting on the turn of events in an actor's life while the wife and I were watching Made of Honor and he's cast as the lady-laying Casanova.

We also saw Enchanted and he was the "prince" of that movie.

Anyway, there's a random post for ya.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Email humor 09/13/2008

Office Procedures Concerning Storm and Office Closings

As we watch the progress of the storm, the following are the
firm's guidelines based upon the hurricane's intensity:

Hurricane Category #1
No excuse for being late. Leave earlier to give extra time to
avoid fallen trees and limbs.

Hurricane Category #2
Due to the horizontal rain, you may wear jeans.

Hurricane Category #3
Whereas most of the area will be flooded we suggest you
avoid wearing open toe sandals when coming to work. Canoes will be
provided to get to the building safely without getting wet.

Hurricane Category #4
More than likely there will be no electricity. Given that, we
will have manual typewriters available to all staff members. Please take
extra caution and wear water-proof make-up if Category 4 or above.

Hurricane Category #5
Velcro will be provided to keep you attached to your chairs when
the windows blow out. For those that survive, we will have chocolate
cake at 3:00 pm in the kitchen.

Have A Nice Day!

Friday, September 12, 2008

Movie ticket purchasing kiosks

I took this picture almost a month ago when the kids and I went to Grapevine Mills Mall in Grapevine, Texas.

We parked near the entrance by the AMC Grapevine Mills 30 Movie Theatre. We walked by the entrance to the theatre and I saw one side with human ticket sellers and on the other side were electronic kiosks where you picked your movie and then slid your ATM/debit/credit card to purchase the tickets.

No human interaction needed until you walked into the entrance of the theatre building and the person tore your ticket in half and says, "To your left," or "To your right." It's the wave of the future!

Email humor 09/12/2008

Guys goes to the doctor and the doctor says, sir you’ve got to stop masturbating.
And the guy was like, Why? And the doctor says, so I can examine you.

A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and goes, "Do you have some trouble with shit sticking to your fur?"

The rabbit says "No," so the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit.

Q: What did the waiter say to the table of Jewish women?
A: Is anything all right here?

Guy’s having sex with his wife. All of a sudden he looks over, and there in the doorway is his son, about eight years old. Kid looks horrified, and the kid runs away.

The guys says to his wife, “Well better talk to Timmy.”

He puts on his clothes and goes to Timmy’s room. He opens the door and there’s Timmy nailing grandma. The father goes, “Oh my God!” and the kid goes, “NOT so funny when it’s your mom, is it?”

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Email humor 09/10/2008

New study finds flip phones dangerous

Click here to see what happened to one of the lab testers.

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

More email humor 09/09/2008

Ah, Florida!

Email humor 09/09/2008

The 11th Husband

A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband to 'Please be gentle; I'm still a virgin'.

'What?' said the puzzle d groom. 'How can that be if you've been married ten times?'

'Well, husband#1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

'Husband # 2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how it was supposed to function; but he said he'd look into it and get back with me.

'Husband # 3 was from Field Services; he said that everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

‘Husband # 4 was in Telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

'Husband # 5 was an Engineer, he understood the basic process but he wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state of the-art method.

'Husband #6 was from Administration; he thought he knew how but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

'Husband # 7 was in Marketing; although he had a product, he was never sure how to position it.

'Husband # 8 was a Psychiatrist; all he did was talk about it.

'Husband # 9 was a Gynecologist; all he did was look at it.

'Husband # 10 was a Stamp Collector; all he ever did was.....God I miss him.

'But now that I've married you, I'm so excited.'

'Wonderful', said the husband, 'But why?

'You're with the 'GOVERNMENT!' This time I KNOW I'M gonna get SCREWED.'

Monday, September 08, 2008

Chuck Norris is Billy Badass

So, for some reason there is (has been) going around about Chuck Norris' badassness. Stuff like, "Chuck Norris eats tacks for dinner he's so tough" or "Chuck Norris swallows bullets and fires them out his butt to shoot bad guys he's so tough."

Well, I got an email earlier today about how Chuck Norris goes #2...

It's funny how badass everyone brags about Chuck but I think he got his neck snapped by Bruce Lee in Return the Dragon.

Sunday, September 07, 2008

Taylor Cole in Finish Line

Finish Line (2008). I watched this movie last night. It has Scott Baio and the father from The Wonder Years and the older guy that used to bang Amanda Woodward in the Melrose Place. It has a few other people but no none else well or fairly known.

Anyway, it wasn't that too bad of a movie. I've seen way better. It was basically a knock off of The Fast and the Furious but with a lot less driving/racing/speeding action.

There is this one part though, which includes an actress not mentioned above, Taylor Cole. What's wild is her IMDB bio says she is from Arlington, Texas. That's just about 30 minutes from Dallas so she's a local. Cool. She's smokin' hot!

The uncool part is that she has this sex scene--it's not making love when you basically just met. It's just sex!--with the main character guy and she gets naked. Well, basically naked. She's definitely topless but they seemed to have dry humped with her black lacy thong and his boxers still on. It could have been the sex scene from the cheesy B-movies from back in the day.

Anyway, she takes off her top and we (well,me) gets high hopes that we are about to experience her naked breasts. And we do...sort she turns out to be wearing pasties! What the hell is that!? Pasties in a movie!?!? She's basically showing all her stuff and she really thinks that pasties are going to "cover" her naked boobs. I mean I'm already seeing her boobs just not her nipples. Being the perverted man I am, I can fill in the nipples to make my fantasy complete. DUH!

So, just to show my point, see a screen capture of the said pasties below. You can make out the beige part of the pasty near the front of her breast. A disappointment, truly!

Pasties are a travesty. I thought they did away with those back in the prudish times like 20-30 years ago.


I've had these for a while and I even took the picture some time ago but never got around to posting it.

Most of my coworkers are good people and they bring back trinkets from their worldly travels since I haven't traveled outside of the the United States. Here are a few of the trinkets I've gotten. Some are from China, some from Mexico and some from India. Can you guess which?

Friday, September 05, 2008

Star Wars Dancing with the Stars

Just found this over at YouTube. This, for me, would be alone worth the trip to Disney. Well, not now since I've seen it but it would have been cool!

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Why was Uriel Perez Palacios not behind bars?

Driver in fatal Dallas crash shouldn't have been on road
Court records show that Uriel Perez Palacios should not have been driving the Chevrolet Tahoe that authorities say he used on Labor Day to speed away from them before crashing and killing a young Irving couple.
Click here to view article as long as it lasts.

So, just a quick glimpse of something from the article. His drunk driving arrest record:

Again, why wasn't he detained (and killed) after his driving while drunk turned into a felony. What happened to "three strikes" rule, for any "crime"? This goes to show you that we are way too lenient on criminals these days.

If I got my time line right, he was 18 yrs old when he plead guilty to two counts of driving while intoxicated. Please refresh my memory but isn't 18 below the legal drinking age of 21? Oh but he plead guilty which lessened his sentence, right? STRIKE ONE - jail time!

Then, roughly a year and a half later, he violates probation and is arrested. STRIKE TWO - jail time!

Again, roughly a year and a half later, he is arrested on drug possession and a third DWI. This made the DWI arrest a felony. STRIKE THREE - no jail time!

In 2008, it gets even worse. It seems the police/justice system was content on collecting money from him and then letting him go...repeatedly.

Longer story short...the needless death of the newly married couple and the injuries to the college students could have and should have been avoided if Palacios was properly executed, er, prosecuted. Why the judicial system couldn't see that he was a habitual criminal is beyond me.

If it were me, I would be suing the city(ies) along with whoever else the family is looking to make pay for the loss of their child.

I'm in favor of public flogging or stoning to death.

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

The Snowman dieth

Before there was The Fast and the Furious, there was Smokey and the Bandit.

I was a young-un when I saw the first Bandit movie. I took every opportunity I could when we went to the grocery store (Safeway, back then), KMart or some other store that carried toys.

I always looked for the black Firebird Pontiac Trans Am with T-tops.

A couple of more pics here and here.

I don't know how many times I pretended that I was the Bandit and making jumps, spin arounds, and burn outs. I would play in the build my own "towns" out of cardboard, playing cards or in the dirt.

I had the diesel that the Snowman drove as well. I think the die cast vehicles came as a set because I remember having Buford T Justices patrol car, as well.

It was such a great time that I remember playing with ALL my Hot Wheels vehicles. Sometimes I wonder what ever happens to that vivid imagination I (we all) once had. I know it's there somewhere but just hidden under all that adult responsibility stuff. Ha!

Anyway before I get too off track. I'm sure all know already from your own little local news feed but Jerry Reed, aka Snowman, has died. I only saw him in one or two other movies, although I cannot recall their names, and a few times I saw Jerry sing on some television shows, again the names of which escape me.

So, in honor of the Snowman, please see the quick video of some random video clips from Smokey and the Bandit.

Severine Bremond

Severine Bremond is a French player on the WTA. Unfortunately for her, she met up with Serena Williams in the 4th round of the US Open and got her colon stomped on like a little bug!

What she lacks in tennis prowess, she makes up with a good bit of hotness. Too bad hotness doesn't when you tennis tournaments...unless she plays men and then they probably couldn't concentrate and she'd win. I'd let her win if she showed some thigh, cleavage...oh what the hell, I'd cave if she just winked at me!

Anyway, here are a couple of pictures of her from her tennis action the other day against Serena.

More photos here.

Monday, September 01, 2008

The future of politics

So, as mentioned many times before, I'm not politically charged. I could care or less because no matter what, the middle-class guy (ME) always gets screwed!

I do read though and I saw that John McCain picked Sarah Palin, a woman, for his running mate. It seems to me it was a surprise move as in most of the articles I've read the Republican Party was just as fucking shocked as the rest of the world. In politics though, it's about the support and the numbers of support. As such, why the hell wouldn't McCain pick a woman to be his running mate albeit not a very experience one? He saw that Hilary Clinton pulled a lot of support with her run at the Democratic nomination and wondered how he would get that support that she had.

Anyway, that's about the extent to which I plan to get political in this post.

What I did want to type is:
  1. Sarah Palin is a definitely kind of a MILF.
  2. A historic moment will occur when whichever running pair actually gets elected:
    • Either a black man will be president or
    • A woman will be vice president

Yellow Rose of Texas

Yellow Rose of Texas