Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Why Marriage?

As Shawn's upcoming nuptials are getting closer, it makes me wonder about why people think marriage is a final step in a relationship. Truthfully, death and/or divorce is really the final step but that's negative right, so nobody says it.

People like Shawn and Theresa have been together for years, at least 6+. In religions eyes, they've already sinned by living and sleeping together for the 6+ years so what's the point of marriage? All things are going great in the relationship. Man loves woman. Woman loves man. Blah! Blah! Blah! Why marry?

Now, I can see some advantages to marriage. It's better to be married for taxes especially if you have kids but the benefits are really minimal until the child(ren) arrive. In the military, you get the flag from the casket if your husband dies otherwise it goes to a family member if you are just a longtime couple. I guess if you have kids it looks good for them to see that you are married so they don't live lives of lust and adultery when they get older but again that goes to the "church" point of view.

I'm just not getting the whole "we need to get married" thing. Yes, I am married. Yes, I got married because that's what I thought you were supposed to do - date, marry, procreate then die. That's the four-step program of life, right? Well, I love my wife and kids and I wouldn't change it for the world but I still wonder why people feel marriage is a finality to show that my wife is my soul mate and I love her.

I made a promise to my wife when we got married. A vow they call it. To me, it wasn't made so much in the eyes of God but a commitment - a promise - that I made to myself in her behalf that she is the only one I will fornicate with! LOL!

As I get older, I am hoping she'll bend the rules for me if I get the chance to bed down with Natalie Portman, Rachel McAdams or Scarlett Johannson but that's a big hope. Not that she'll bend the rules but that I'd even have a chance of being in the same room with one of the three much less getting an offer of one glorious night in the sack with them. LOL!

I remember when I got married people would ask, "so, when are you going to have kids? When are you going to buy a house?" blah, blah blah. I didn't get married to have kids. I didn't get married to buy a house. I could have done all that without marriage. Plus, I had kids when I was damn, good and ready!

So there's the rant. It was sparked by the wedding rehearsal and day schedule I was sent by the bride. I saw all kinds of 'TO DO' things and was just wondering, "WHY"?

Grosser than gross

How gross is it to walk into the men's room in the office and see an ass-shrapnel explosion on the back of the toilet in stall number one!?

That's just as bad as the sweaty outlines of a hairy ass and legs on the toilet seat that I spoke of in a previous post.

People are disgusting!

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Poor, poor Andy Roddick

Andy should just give it up. He played a piss poor match. I was quite disappointed in his play and he deserved exactly what he got - A BIG LOSS in the first round of the U.S.Open.

If it wasn't for his serve, the game count for him would have been much less. It could have been more like 6-2, 6-2, 6-2. I'd give him 2 service games per set just because if you added it all up that's probably what he really deserved.

Gilles Muller wasn't playing phenomenal tennis like the commentators will tell you. Andy Roddick was just playing shit tennis! He wouldn't run down shots that should have been at least attempted a run at.

If he doesn't have the fight like Rafael Nadal, Gilles Muller or even James Blake then he should hang the racket up in the garage and pick up golf because these other guys are out there to WIN at all costs!

Of course, this was said about Andre Agassi after a few slam and regular tournament wins when he first started becoming a tennis household name. It took him about 3-5 years to finally get his ass in gear when he hooked up with Brad Gilbert to become a more consistent, serious, professional tennis player.

Maybe Andy needs to make a call to Brad. Oh wait. He already has. Guess that isn't helping like it should. Anyhow, he needs something to get that fire that he had when he won the U.S.Open in 2003. Maybe the mental anguish the ass-kicking he keeps getting from Roger Federer isn't allowing him to reach the next plateau. I know it would probably weigh on me if I'd lost 7 times in a row to Roger.

Oh well.

Monday, August 29, 2005

Bachelor party recap

Well, Shawn's bachelor party is over and done with. First we went to Hooters for dinner. I'm sure any male knows that Hooters is famous for buffalo wings but we all had either a hamburger, chicken sandwich or philly cheesesteak sandwich. Shawn's brother, Bryan, did order a 10pc wing item as an appetizer but that was about it for the wings. Most of the waitresses weren't too bad but it's rated PG compared to where we went afterwards.

As previously mentioned, the verdict of the type of bar was ALL NUDE. We had been to a few in the past but we needed to find one closer to Dallas because that's where we were after Hooters and most of the other guys that were showing up lived in or near Dallas.

Two clubs that I knew of in the general Dallas area: The Clubhouse or PT's Gold Club. We'd been to The Clubhouse within the past couple of years because one of Shawn's employees was getting married back then so we had to go support him. So, PT's was the option we were going to take a chance on.

I always am hesitant about these places because 1) the costs for all nude is typically a $20 cover and 2) for $20 cover I'd better see some hot women!

At first, PT's didn't disappoint. We come to the door and the doorman says, "It's a $20 cover. If you have alcohol, you have to buy ice which is $12 a bucket. One bucket holds about 18 beers. Also, you have to tuck in your shirt!" WTF!? It's a freakin' nudie bar not the Bonaventure Hotel!

So, we go in. Shawn and the crew he drove with had come but left because they forgot to buy alcohol. Turns out, the bar is actually in Mesquite and this town is DRY! Which meant, to get alcohol, they had to drive about 10-15 minutes back into a Dallas or a Dallas County city and buy alcohol. There was 4-5 of us that showed up after they left. We waited for about 10 minutes and decided to wait inside for them. Why waste our time and money since we were smart enough to stop by a liquor store shortly after leaving Hooters.

The girls that took our money were hot! They weren't scantily clad like the waitresses (I guess that's what they are called) but they were pretty attractive. And at first, the door was where the beauty stopped.

I walked in the door behind the main entrance and the first stage I see, which is directly to my right after entering, there is a chubby ethnic lady that had to have been about 40+ years old. I shit you not! I was shaking my head in disappointment but had to remind myself I was doing this for Shawn.

Past the first stage, I can see the rest of the bar and it's much smaller than the outside would suggest. It's about 930-10 p.m. and the damn place is packed with half the residents of Mexico! Again, I shit you not! No wonder the Mexican communities around Dallas are full of poor, starving little Mexicans! Their damn fathers are blowing their hard-earned construction money on tits and ass they could only dream of having and only get to see and touch because they are dropping $25+ on them for lap dance. Stupid wasteful men, not just the Mexicans. If I can't touch it, poke it, have all kinds of fun with it, I'm not paying more than $1 for their little "show". You go to the stage and they dance a little, touch themselves a little, sway it in front of you and then squat down to take your money. That's pretty much worth a dollar but she's got to look good for me. That 40-yr-old didn't get the time of day from me but all those Pablos, Pepes, Joses and Felipes dropped dollar after dollar on her. Horny, disgusting little bastards!

We pretty much just stayed for the circuit of dancers to be completed. I think there were around 15 girls. Out of those, about half were worthy of the almighty dollar! LOL! I don't think I've seen so many fat, naked chicks in one room, in person, at all! If there weren't other nice-looking chicks, I would have been upset that I wasted $20. If it wasn't Shawn's bachelor party, I would have been pissed but I was still feeling a little robbed.

There was this really tall brunette. Jeez! She had some legs that climbed for forever up to her ass! Although her A-cups didn't match her body height (at least 6 ft) and her face was just average, I wouldn't have had a problem saying "yes" if she asked me to go home with her - if I wasn't married of course! (smirk)

There was this tall blonde but not as tall as the brunette. She had the same A-cups but she was a little more pleasing to look at.

There was the librarian, the latino, the nubian queen, the dimwitted redneck with the recently purchased rack, the trailer whore whose husband told her she needed to make more money so she started stripping and then the naturally, big breasted hottie that put all the other girls to shame.

I only like the naturally big breasted hottie because she took my face in her breasts and rubbed them up and down my face, slowly, methodically, almost putting me to sleep because they were so soft... ummmm... good times!

After hanging out in the bar for a few hours or so, we left around 1:30 a.m. We stopped by Whataburger to get some taquitos and a soda because I was hungry and thirsty (I don't drink alcohol). The bar had a kitchen that opened about an hour before we left. They were serving bacon, eggs, sausage and toast. Sounded good but we were talking about a kitchen at a nudie bar.

Anyway, I ended up driving half the people there because Bryan, Shawn's brother, left early like around 11 p.m. and his ass was one of the two that said we HAD to go to a nudie bar! Freakin' punk ass bitch! Granted it wasn't much to look at but we did pay $20 so we should at least get our money's worth in time if not in looks!

I got home around 3 a.m. My nephew, Robbie, went with me so he crashed at my place because I wasn't taking his ass home that late/early in the night/morning. I had to ring the doorbell for my wife to come open the door because the top lock was locked but my key wouldn't open it. I don't know why the hell she locked it to begin with. Then she has the gall, to question me about ringing the doorbell. Whatever!

Anyway, we stayed up and yacked for a little while until about 4 a.m. I was too tired to talk anymore so I had to go to bed. The wife came in shortly after and the nephew went to bed as well. I knew I'd have to get up in about 4-6 hours because of my kids. Luckily, I got to sleep in until about 10:30 a.m. I was going to try and sleep longer but I heard my wife talking to my nephew and I'm sure he wanted to get home. I also didn't want to miss the women's finals of the Pilot Pen tennis tournament - Kim Clijsters won by the way.

That was about the extent of the "wonderful" bachelor party.

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Shawn's bachelor party

Just a few pics from Shawn's bachelor party. We couldn't take pictures in the nudie bar so these will have to suffice.

Hooters...what more is there to say?


This is Rob, the other best man, stunned by the scantily clad waitresses or not knowing how to use his camera.


My receipt for paying for Shawn's dinner at Hooters, the pen I snagged from the waitress and the matchbook from PT Gentleman's Gold Club (the nudie bar).


I've been barcoded by the titty bar police!

A quick movie review and a book I'm starting

I watched Kung Fu Hustle (2004) the other day. It was pretty funny and definitely worth a rental. I especially liked it when the boss of the Axe Gang dances before he bashes this guy in the start of the movie. And then in the intro, he is dancing and then is joined by gang members. It's just funny to see these Asians dancing like in the musicals of the old days like West Side Story and then have kung fu action. Good spoof!

I'd turn on the English audio because it's tough reading subtitles while there is action on the screen as well. I watched it with both and the audio track doesn't match the subtitled words exactly. Still a funny movie.

I started reading "Angels & Demons" by Dan Brown. My wife said it was better to read it first and then The Da Vinci Code. She's read both. So far, the writing has been good. It's kept my attention and has me looking to read more to see what else is going to happen. I'm only on chapter eighteen at page 65 and only have 504 pages to go!


Saturday, August 27, 2005

Bachelor party!

Tonight is Shawn's bachelor party.  It kind of was a quick plan thing.  I didn't plan it but was told that we were going out tonight about 3-4 days ago by Shawn.  Ain't that funny?  Basically, I was going to take Shawn to Speedzone or something.   He was cool with that.  It's kind of like a go-cart on steroids place.  It's got a slick track, a grand prix track and drag racers; the dragsters are on a track so you can't fly off or anything but I hear they go 0-60 in like 7 seconds.

Anyway, Shawn mentioned this to his brother, Bryan, and he said, "No way dude!  My wife said I can go to a nudie bar and I'm going to, that's where we are going!"  Shawn then told Rob, the co-best man, about the options and he said, "Hell yeah dude but I need to see bush so we are going to ALL nude!" These two guys crack me up!  They are married and they NEED to pay minimum $20 cover fee to go and see this shit!  But, I guess that's what we are doing.

We'll probably go eat beforehand at Hooter's in downtown Dallas.  There are a few other Hooter's in the general area but I've almost always gone to the downtown one.

I say that I didn't plan this because it's been such a shotgun notice of my notice of groomsman to best man.  I was going to take Shawn to a Dallas Stars hockey game and probably eat at Hooter's beforehand because it's right down the street from the American Airlines Center where the Stars play.  Of course, hockey pre-season doesn't start until two weeks after the wedding!  I figured Shawn would have like the game and eating more than the nude bar.  The nude bar probably costs more than the food and game would.

Well, I have to go get the pizza the wife ordered for her and the kids before I leave.  The gang is supposed to be over here around 6:30 p.m. and it's 6:09 p.m. now.  I guess I'd better get dressed too.  Sucks for me having to get ready for shit!  Pain in my ass to be a friend!

Friday, August 26, 2005

Star Wars Episode I

I had to take today off from work because my oldest is home sick from school and my wife has to teach. That also means that I missed my fourth day of my economics class as well. I couldn’t very well skip work but go to class. Well, I could but I didn’t want to and would feel uneasy about it – probably uneasy for a short bit but uneasy nonetheless. My child wanted me to watch the Star Wars movies with her. We started off with Episode I. While watching it, I once again realized how much the Jedi and Force in the movies is actually different than what I expect it to be – what it should be! Yes, I am a Star Wars geek!

The main part that bugs me is when Darth Maul is battling Qui Gon and Obi Wan on Naboo. You’ve got a Jedi Master and his “well-trained” apprentice against a Sith apprentice. I agree that Darth Maul was very good and well-trained but he still should have lost much quicker than he did. Also, when they are running on the catwalk towards the red beams that crossed the walkway, Obi Wan is running to assist Qui Gon. The beams close and Obi Wan is about eight beams away from Qui Gon who is one beam away from Darth Maul. The beams shut down and Obi Wan gets through all the beams except for the last one so he has to wait and watch while Qui Gon battles alone. So my first gripe is why didn’t Obi Wan use the Force run to get through the beams like they did when they were on the Trade Federation’s ship running from the destroyer droids. My second gripe is how Darth Maul hits Qui Gon in the face and then guts him. What kind of lame ass move was that to die from?! My third gripe is right before Qui Gon gets gutted they flash to Obi Wan and he gets a look on his face like he knew what was about to happen. Did Qui Gon not get this same feeling in the Force, especially since he was the Master?

Well, I’m onto Episode II and I’m sure I’ll have more gripes that no one “normal” will give a crap about! I’ve seen these movies at least a dozen times already but it still bothers me each time I see the “crap”. I know he had a prequel story to tell but George Lucas should have done a little better with the script.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Schwing!

Today the wife and I went to lunch. She picked me up from work and on the way out of the parking lot towards the highway we found ourselves behind a construction truck that had an extension arm on it. It's tough to describe but I'm sure you know what I mean.

Anyway, on the back of this truck it said, "SCHWING".

Another one of the times that I wish I had my digital camera with me.

It was funny but you may have had to be there.

Monday, August 22, 2005

1st & 2nd day of class - observations

In no particular order..
  1. The professor seemed a little nervous during her introduction and review of the course syllabus. She had this acid-reflux thing going on. It was nice to know that there would be 25+ expensive cellphones whipped out to dial 911 if needed. With my old, cheaply-priced cellphone I probably wouldn't get a signal in the classrooom.
  2. Why do girls wear these shoulder-string shirts and then wear a bra underneath with straps? I guess this is the style but it's ugly! I mean if they are going to go with shoulder-strings versus shoulder-straps they should at least wear a strapless bra! (Damn! There I am showing my fashionista gayness again.)
  3. What is with the hot girl in front of me flicking her long, flowing, bleach-blond hair while the instructor is lecturing? The chairs are lined up so close together in this classroom that her hair washes back and forth across my book and notepad while she's running her hands through her mane. Is there really a purpose for this other than to torture the old guy in the class? Hm, I wonder what kind of trouble would I get if I just grabbed and jerked it? In a darker room, alone, just maybe...

Saturday, August 20, 2005

I am such a dumbass!

I borrowed my brother, Vern's, bicycle. I think it is like a 15-speed. It's been sitting on the porch of his house, unused.

I emailed him about a week ago asking if I could borrow it because I can ride it to work while it is so freaking hot. I'm about a 10-minute walk so it'll probably be a 2-minute-or-less bike ride. I could drive but by the time I get my lazy ass to work it's like 8:15 a.m. or so and the parking lot is already full next to my building. So, I'd have to park in the garage which is about half the distance of the walk from home so why not just walk (or ride a bike)?

Anyway, I stopped by after tennis and we bungee-corded it to my Jeep in a way that it sat on top of my tonneau cover (look it up for what that is). The seat and handle bars would extend just above the rollbar.

The whole time I'm riding home I'm occasionally thinking to myself to remind myself, "don't forget to remove the bike before you go under the awning of my parking place at home!" I'm sure I thought this about 10 times or so on the 35-minute drive home.

I pull into the alley behind my duplex. I turn up the driveway across from ours, braked and put it into reverse. I look between my front seats and through the bike as I proceed to back up into my space.

I'm backing up slowly so I don't hit the fence or anything else. I get about a quarter of the way under the awning when I hear a slight pop and the bike moves in my view. I didn't say "into my view" because I realized after this that I could see the bike the whole time I was backing up.

My nephew, Robbie, was with me and in the passenger seat when he hears me say, "Aw shit!"

I shift to first and roll down the driveway with just a little screeching and say to him, "I forgot to take down the fucking bike! I reminded myself at least a dozen times to take the bike down before I parked and I forgot! Shit! Shit! Shit!"

He was laughing and I kind of did too because I was stupid. I got out and took the bike down and I saw the damage I did - not to the awning - but the bicycle. I bent the damn handle bars. Piece of shit bike! Ha!

Now, I have to buy new handle bars because I can't ride the bike until I do so. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

Just my luck! I borrowed a bike to save money so I didn't have to buy one myself. Now, I'll probably end up spending $50 on new handle bars if I can't find a cheap (like free) alternative. Piss!

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Plastic, paper or au naturale


Just something I came across while perusing msn.com.


I don't understand actresses. Nicollette is a hotty from maybe the neck down but that face...ugh! She's had way too much work done and it didn't make her look any younger or more attractive.


Now, Sheryl Crow on the other hand is all-around hot. She's got some natural beauty with the Hollywood glow without all the California plastic. Lance is a lucky man!

Fall 2005 semester commences

Today is officially the first day of classes for the Fall 2005 semester. Yes, I am taking a class this term. Just one. I thought about two but since I took off the second summer term I figured I should restart my easing back into college. You may laugh but I know me and if I bog myself down too much with family, work, fun and school then something will have to go to the wayside and it won't be the first three. Definitely won't be the first two! So the transition needs to be slow. Hell, I've waited 10 years what is another 5-10. LOL!

My class is on M-W-F from 9-950 a.m. so my first day is tomorrow. I still need to get my book for class. It'll probably be like a hundred bucks just for this one class. I'm taking an economics course...micro, I think. I'm sure this course will have like 30-40 kids in it unlike my summer I rhetoric course which had 7. I'm not sure how this old horndog will handle this. Between having to hang with all these kids, I will probably also have to put up with hot, scantily clad coeds. The pain and suffering I will endure! LOL!

Oh well.

My wife starts teaching her class tomorrow too. She'll also teach a Tuesday evening course. Fun. Fun!

My kids start school on Monday. That's about 1-3 weeks after most of their friends and cousins. They passed a vote to have school start after Labor Day starting next school year so I assume everyone will pretty much start within a few days of each other if not the same day. I think this is a good idea. Right now kids are starting as early as August 8th and they got out last year around mid-June. Did it really help the students learn more? I don't think so.

What it did was allow the poor people, like myself but not entirely, have more days where their kids will be "watched" and less hours to pay to a after-school program or daycare because they are not home from work in time. Extending school was a big benefit to these people.

Well, the rich stepped in and said that we can't plan vacations. So, who do you think won? Yep, the rich.

Like I said, I'm glad because I don't think they really learn anymore for that extra month total that they are in school. Some had longer school but got an extra "fall" and/or "spring" break. Not to be confused with the week for Thanksgiving, the two weeks for Christmas and the week for Spring Break. This would have been a cool benefit if I was a teen in school but for some this poses problems with work. That's an extra week of vacation, babysitter or daycare a parent has to pay.

So, I'll get off my podium. Didn't mean to ramble.

This summer seemed so short. It flew by so fast. I remember when I was young and the school year would drag but the summer seemed quick. It seemed even quicker this past summer. I don't know why. My kids are excited and nervous to return to school. They want to see friends and have P.E. and all that but are a little edgy about having a new teacher in a new grade. All those things most of us felt when we were young.

Well, it's about lunch time now so I need to get ready to meet my wife and kids. It's their last two days of being able to see me for lunch without me coming to their school. Plus my wife teaches during lunchtime so tomorrow is out for the "family" lunch.

More later.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Confucius says...

It's been a while since my last actual post. The latest was just a quote I remembered that I thought was cool. I don't have much time to post tonight either but I'll catch up on things to bore you to death. All, one of you!

My wife picked me up from work today. I walked this morning but a torrential downpour started about five minutes before I left for work so she came to give me a lift. She's so sweet and the kids seemed okay with it too. They usually moan and groan. Lazy farts.

Anyway, on the way out a coworker ask where I parked. I told her I walked but my wife was right outside the building and we could give her a ride to her car in the parking garage. I let her sit in the front passenger seat while I sat in the back of the van because the kids car seats are in the middle seat.

I'm sitting in the back seat and I see two unopened fortune cookies. I'm thinking they are no older than this past Saturday because we went to a Chinese buffet with some out-of-town family guest that came in for the weekend. It didn't matter. They were fully sealed still and I would have eaten them anyway.

I cracked open the first one and he fortune said,
"You are generous to an extreme and always think of the other fellow."
So true! I don't know about "other fellow" but I'm sure they mean it more generic than just a male. All I need is more reference to my manly gayness or is it metrosexual as they call it these days.

Second fortune cookie is cracked open and the fortune says,
"Your life will be happy and peaceful."
Now I must say that I am pretty happy with my life but peaceful?? That's hit or miss these days.

Well, that's my boring post for the night. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.

Friday, August 12, 2005

A motivating movie quote

"You're gonna eat lightnin' and you're gonna crap thunder!" 
                                   — Mickey from Rocky

Would this not make you feel like an unstoppable force in whatever sport you have chosen to pursue?

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Well, my confusion has been un-confused

The other day I went to get fitted for a tux for Shawn's upcoming wedding. He asked me to be in it but he didn't tell me my role. I would be happy as just a groomsman but I looked at my receipt from the tuxedo place (I didn't have to pay, they just give you a receipt of all your measurements and all for reference if someone loses it at the store) and I saw that my "role" is listed as "best man". That's cool and all but I was now confused because Shawn told me before without my asking that he wasn't sure who the best man would be. No sweat for me because like I said, I'd be happy just being a groomie. But this receipt had confused me because Shawn hadn't told me himself but maybe this was his subtle way. See my confusion?

I went to lunch today with Shawn and a mutual friend, Rob. He's more of a friend, good friend obviously, to Shawn. Shawn has him as a groomsman in his wedding too. We went to a Chinese buffet restaurant.  It was pretty good but not as good as the one I went to last on Park Lane and US 75. We ate a few plates and had a little down time before we left and Shawn started his stumbling, bumbling speaking which typically means he has something important but nerve-racking for him to say. He said, "Well, I guess I'll just come out and say it. I can't choose between the two of you so I'm going to have two best men." Rob was like, "Dude, you and Jason have long term friendship history together. He should be the best man. It's no big deal to me if he's best man and I'm not." I was like, "Dude, true we have history but it's not like we've hung out a whole lot the past few years so you should be the best man." But...I guess there is going to be two best men, then. Truthfully, it wouldn't hurt my feelings either way. I mean, true, Shawn and I DO have long-term friend history but we've kind of moved past that since all the hoopla that went on before (see this blog entry). I mean I do think I deserve the respect I've always deserved and making me best man could be a show of this from Shawn. Also, Rob isn't as good of a friend as I was because I've known Shawn for a LONG time and know things about Shawn that Rob probably never will simply because I was there or whatever. On the other hand, Rob has been the one to help him with all things the past year or so because I've taken myself out of the "friends-with-Shawn" picture. I don't compete for friendship or attention, especially when I have been a way better friend than he has been or anyone else could be to him. Just my opinion but others would see it my way as well. Anyway, I'm just going with the flow of things with his wedding and all. I'm not required to put out much effort, if any, and I'm happy for him, to an extent, but being cordial is about all I can do.

So, I get back from lunch to tell my wife about the best man thing and some other things I found out and she kicks me to the curb because she was over her best friend, Angela's, house with our kids so they could play with Angela's kids. I call her to talk for no more than 15-20 minutes and I get kicked to the curb.

Oh well, I guess I'm out of here!

Is it because we having nothing to say?

The last post I just emailed to my blog but it made me think...

Do we "bloggers" post joke pictures because we have nothing to say or is it because we want to share the humor with the world?

Hmmm?

I think I just wanted to share the love of laughter with the blogging community... AND... I didn't have much to say!

Email humor 08/11/2005











Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Where does the time go?

I'm sitting here watching reruns of Law & Order and I started to wonder "where does the time go?"

Time for watching television. Time for watching particular television shows. Time for watching DVD movies. Time for writing in my journal. Time for writing in my blog. Time for hanging out with my wife and kids. Time to squeeze it all in together in ONE day and then start all over for the next day.

I used to watch CSI but I don't even remember what days the shows are on anymore. I used to watch Law & Order (not the reruns) on Wednesday nights but since my man Lenny died, it's just not the same. I occasionally catch the reruns of Law & Order SVU on the USA network but I don't think I've seen recent episodes of ANY shows. Sometimes I catch episodes of Celebrity Fit Club, The Surreal Life, Real World: Austin and some other "reality" shows. Again, typically I catch the marathon reruns on the weekends for these shows.

I start my one class for this semester: economics, micro I think.

So, add my kids going to school, my wife teaching her classes and any events that may come up like kids' birthday parties and Jay will not have ANY time to do much in one day because I'm such a procrastinator! Even when I have time, I don't have time!

What are parents smoking these days?

From Star-Telegram online...
KUTZTOWN, Pa. - They're being called the Kutztown 13 -- a group of high schoolers charged with felonies for bypassing security with school-issued laptops, downloading forbidden Internet goodies and using monitoring software to spy on district administrators.

The students, their families and outraged supporters say authorities are overreacting, punishing the youths not for heinous behavior -- no malicious acts are alleged -- but rather because they outsmarted the district's technology workers.
Rest of article is here but it may expire. You'll have to register too. It's free and you can use bogus info.

The students are obviously smarter than the parents but a crime is a crime. This is no different than if I were to "hack" into their school's computer system and modify the software. It was done illegally and it should be handled as a felony. It cracks me up that the parents were stupid enough to feel the district is pissed off because their kids "outsmarted the technology workers." It's not like that were at a debate or math contest.

I'm not for any "big brother" watching me but the district GAVE these computers to the students to use for school and semi-personal use. The software is on there for a reason other than just spying on students. What I get is it's basically like parental controls. Anyhow, the school loaned the laptops to the students and the students abused the privilege. You could say that they just take the laptops away and give them detention but what precedent would that set? It's saying "Hey student! Let's circumvent security and modify this laptop. C'mon, you're only going to get a d-hall." I think you nip this in the bud and set the punishment high so it makes any other student think twice about it. I'm at work and using my work's computer. Should I be busted for what I do on it if it's inappropriate? Hell yes! I know I could be monitored and that's okay with me. If I do something they wouldn't approve of and they bust me on it, my fault. I pay the consequences. It sucks but that's life bee-awches!

One fifteen-year-old complained that "the charges don't fit the offense" and fears a felony conviction could hurt his college and job prospects. His ass should have thought about that before he had his "fun" with his friends at his school's expense!

He further tries to compare it to "adults who go 10 miles over the speed limit or don't come to a complete stop at a stop sign. They know it's not right, but they expect a fine not a felony offense." Again, wake the hell up dipshit! He admits that he knew what he was doing was wrong but expected a fine or slap on the hand versus a felony. Dipshit obviously isn't as smart as he thought. Traffic violations typically get fines. Breaking in and circumventing software security gets felony convictions. Can I say DIPSHIT enough?

The parents think they should get fined or detention. What if this kid went on a shopping spree with mom and dad's credit cards and spent thousands before the parent found out? Do you think the parents would be so gentle with their punishment? I think not. My kid would be lucky to be alive and would only be so because I'd go to jail!

Oh well, just one more fact that I think the world is going to pure shit! What can I do but watch it go down the toilet?

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Email humor 08/09/2005


This was supposed to be a GIF with the mice in humping action but it's still funny.

Monday, August 08, 2005

Email humor 08/08/2005

Employee Handbook
By Arnold Schwarzenegger

SICK DAYS
Ve vill no longer accept a doktor's shtatement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doktor, you are able to come to verk.

PERSONAL DAYS
Each employee vill receive 104 personal days a year. Dey are called Saturday and Sunday.

LUNCH BREAK
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more, so that dey can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because dat's all der time needed to drink der Shlim Fast.

DRESS CODE
It is advised that you come to verk dressed according to your salary. If ve see you vearing $350 Prada sneakers, and carrying a $600 Gucci Bag, ve assume you are doing vell financially and derefore you do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so dat you may buy nicer clothes, and derefore you do not need a raise. If you dress in-betveen, you are right vere you need to be and derefore you do not need a raise.

BEREAVEMENT LEAVE
Dis is no excuse for missing verk. Dere is notting you can do for dead friends, relatives, or co-verkers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to da arranchments. In rare cases vere employee involvement is necessary, da funeral should be scheduled in da late afternoon. Ve vill be glad to allow you to vork troo your lunch hour and subsequently leave vone hour early.

RESTROOM USE
Entirely too much time is being spent in da restroom. Dere is now a shtricht 3-minute time limit in der shtalls. At der end of tree minutes, an alarm vill sound, der toilet paper roll vill retract, the shtall door vill open and a picture vill be taken. After your second offense, your picture vill be posted on der company bulletin board under da "Chronic Offenders" category.

Tank you for your loyalty to our great shtate. Ve are here to provide a positive employment experience.

Tank you,

DER GOVERNATER

Sunday, August 07, 2005

More duplex photos

The new place is coming along.

The living room is clean and set up in the new place.


The kitchen is clean and set as well.


My computer room is cleaner but still needs some work.

Friday, August 05, 2005

It's been a few days since the last post

Let's see what's been going on...

Well, I plotted a location where some family lives and I've been on another person's guest map here and he mentioned my blog. Pretty cool.

The guest map is pretty cool too! Thought about creating my own but that's just another damn thing for me to create that I probably won't keep up with. Here's the guest map. I'm plotted near the city of Springfield in Pawnee.

Right now I'm typing at work and I just had to mention something I just heard. You want to talk about "kuntry tawk" in Texas. One of my coworkers was giving her email address and she spoke MAIL like "may - yell". Funny!

So, now as I was going to type, people have come up to me to ask me to do things for them. Dammit! I guess I'll have to continue later.

Monday, August 01, 2005

Could I be fired for what I did at work today?

I don't think so but anything IS possible.

About two weeks ago, Steve was listening to some "interesting" music in his office. Not my taste but something I could listen to once...or never. I think it was something like a soundtrack because I did see one CD that was the soundtrack to "Victor, Victoria". He also handed me a CD of the 20 or 50 most popular TV theme songs. I told you it was interesting music.

We were talking about how the head boss of our office doesn't particularly favor Steve's music selections. So, I came up with this idea to run a speaker from Steve's office to Marci's office (the boss boss) about 30 feet away to play the music from his computer into her office. I finally came across all the equipment I needed to do this after going through a few of my boxes after the move to the new place.

Anyway, I was running some speaker cable this afternoon above the ceiling tiles after lunch and people started asking questions. Of course, Steve only told one person, Vicki—his good friend in the office, and she told everyone after we began running the wire. It would have been better if no one knew except for me and Steve but I guess we can't have everything our way all the time.

We set the speaker right above her desk resting on a ceiling tile. We tested and it works like a charm!

Marci is out of the office until tomorrow or Wednesday but we can't wait to see how she reacts. It would be good for her to come out of the office wondering where the music was coming from and no one having a clue as to what she was talking about. But instead, she'll come out and ask someone and they will know and the surprise will be lost because they'll crack and tell her.

It would be funny to video her reaction once she started hearing the music in her office as well. Alas, the anticipation will probably be more exciting than the actual event but it's all in fun.

We'll see if I can get my long, extension speaker wire out of the "attic" after she fires me. LOL!