Saturday, August 20, 2005

I am such a dumbass!

I borrowed my brother, Vern's, bicycle. I think it is like a 15-speed. It's been sitting on the porch of his house, unused.

I emailed him about a week ago asking if I could borrow it because I can ride it to work while it is so freaking hot. I'm about a 10-minute walk so it'll probably be a 2-minute-or-less bike ride. I could drive but by the time I get my lazy ass to work it's like 8:15 a.m. or so and the parking lot is already full next to my building. So, I'd have to park in the garage which is about half the distance of the walk from home so why not just walk (or ride a bike)?

Anyway, I stopped by after tennis and we bungee-corded it to my Jeep in a way that it sat on top of my tonneau cover (look it up for what that is). The seat and handle bars would extend just above the rollbar.

The whole time I'm riding home I'm occasionally thinking to myself to remind myself, "don't forget to remove the bike before you go under the awning of my parking place at home!" I'm sure I thought this about 10 times or so on the 35-minute drive home.

I pull into the alley behind my duplex. I turn up the driveway across from ours, braked and put it into reverse. I look between my front seats and through the bike as I proceed to back up into my space.

I'm backing up slowly so I don't hit the fence or anything else. I get about a quarter of the way under the awning when I hear a slight pop and the bike moves in my view. I didn't say "into my view" because I realized after this that I could see the bike the whole time I was backing up.

My nephew, Robbie, was with me and in the passenger seat when he hears me say, "Aw shit!"

I shift to first and roll down the driveway with just a little screeching and say to him, "I forgot to take down the fucking bike! I reminded myself at least a dozen times to take the bike down before I parked and I forgot! Shit! Shit! Shit!"

He was laughing and I kind of did too because I was stupid. I got out and took the bike down and I saw the damage I did - not to the awning - but the bicycle. I bent the damn handle bars. Piece of shit bike! Ha!

Now, I have to buy new handle bars because I can't ride the bike until I do so. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

Just my luck! I borrowed a bike to save money so I didn't have to buy one myself. Now, I'll probably end up spending $50 on new handle bars if I can't find a cheap (like free) alternative. Piss!

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