The new universal symbol for gasoline...
1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.
2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way.
3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?
They Take The Psycho Path
4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It
5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!
6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroid's
7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick
8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese
9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.
10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quattro Sinko
11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.
12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
Frostbite.
13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck
14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef
15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him
16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers
17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog
18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka
19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover?
The Location Of The Dirt Bag
20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat
21. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang! A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang, Whack!
22. How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same?
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer
LATINA WANTED
Jose was 35 and desperate to meet an attractive Latina he could date and maybe marry. After trying unsuccessfully to meet a nice attractive woman at a bar or club......his friend suggested the Internet. He had luck meeting women that way and his only warning was "Be direct and state exactly what you are looking for......no more, no less".
Taking his friends advice he decided to place an ad on a dating service stating exactly what he wanted........"Latino seeking sensual Latina " He got a response from girl # 2259 with her address and directions to pick her up on Friday night at 8:00 pm for a date.
When he arrives at her door, he finds that she is indeed sensual but he notices she is black. Figuring she must be Dominicana or Cubana, he starts to speak Spanish to her. " Como esta usted senorita?"
With attitude the girl replied..."OH HELLLLLLLL NO, you must be trippin!!!!" Confused and startled, Jose asks the woman......."Don't you speak Spanish???" The woman shocked replied......"Why the HELLLLL would I speak Spanish???"
Embarrassed, Jose carefully explains that while she is very attractive there must be a mistake because his ad clearly stated "Seeking Sensual Latina " Enraged, the woman tells Jose......."Fool you better RECOGNIZE !!!! You GOT what you WANTED!!!! My momma is LaShonda.......My sister is LaQuisha.....My brother is LaTrell.....and I am LaTINA!!!!
1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.
2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way.
3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?
They Take The Psycho Path
4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It
5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!
6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroid's
7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick
8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese
9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.
10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quattro Sinko
11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.
12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
Frostbite.
13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck
14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef
15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him
16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers
17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog
18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka
19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover?
The Location Of The Dirt Bag
20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat
21. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang! A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang, Whack!
22. How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same?
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer
LATINA WANTED
Jose was 35 and desperate to meet an attractive Latina he could date and maybe marry. After trying unsuccessfully to meet a nice attractive woman at a bar or club......his friend suggested the Internet. He had luck meeting women that way and his only warning was "Be direct and state exactly what you are looking for......no more, no less".
Taking his friends advice he decided to place an ad on a dating service stating exactly what he wanted........"Latino seeking sensual Latina " He got a response from girl # 2259 with her address and directions to pick her up on Friday night at 8:00 pm for a date.
When he arrives at her door, he finds that she is indeed sensual but he notices she is black. Figuring she must be Dominicana or Cubana, he starts to speak Spanish to her. " Como esta usted senorita?"
With attitude the girl replied..."OH HELLLLLLLL NO, you must be trippin!!!!" Confused and startled, Jose asks the woman......."Don't you speak Spanish???" The woman shocked replied......"Why the HELLLLL would I speak Spanish???"
Embarrassed, Jose carefully explains that while she is very attractive there must be a mistake because his ad clearly stated "Seeking Sensual Latina " Enraged, the woman tells Jose......."Fool you better RECOGNIZE !!!! You GOT what you WANTED!!!! My momma is LaShonda.......My sister is LaQuisha.....My brother is LaTrell.....and I am LaTINA!!!!
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