Saturday, October 28, 2006

One Tree Hill is slowly going downhill

I just finished watching my recording of One Tree Hill and I think it’s getting a little to General Hospital-ish and too much Melrose Place-ish.

Of course, I guess it’s a little queer-ish for a thirty-plus year old man to be watching it in the first place, huh? If I had anything better to do like if there were more Stars’ games or tennis tournaments on television, maybe I’d have something better to watch.

So, back to the show critique.

I wish I could fall out a second story window onto my back. Not only did I fall out the window, I fucking flew like thirty feet out and thirty feet down. Amazing, I would be, huh?

Everyone is sleeping with everyone else. I mean why the hell would Brooke have a one-night stand so quickly after “breaking up” with Lucas? Also, how did Brooke and Rachel get into a bar when they are high school seniors?

Where did Rachel get her tits at such a young age?

Were YOU ever able to get into a high school classroom at 10 p.m. or so at night to have random, one-night-stand sex? I could but usually not without setting off a few alarms!

Why did they pick Lucas to be the Jake of Melrose Place? You remember Jake, right? He was the good guy that everyone loved to love and wanted to have as a friend. Only problem is, Lucas is a wussy mo-fo! I mean he’s like 130 lbs of skin and bone. They could have saved that title for Nathan.

Speaking of Nathan…and Haley. They are like Michael and Jane or Brandon and Kelly. They were the couples that you thought would survive all the lustfulness, deceitfulness and partner swapping that everyone else around them was participating in. You mark my words, their relationship will deteriorate. That’s the way all night soap operas go — two opposites come together unexpectedly; go through trials and tribulations in their relationship; expected to go the distance; writers decide to throw some spice into the show and BAM! The everlasting, ever strong couple is dissolved.

Okay, I’ll stop showing my gayness and go back to watching the Stars game.

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