Sunday, January 16, 2011

Machete ( 2010)

Watched Machete today.

I thought it was an okay movie. It started with action and then it slowed down a little bit and then the action picked up again. Overall, I would say it was a 7 out of 10 at the most.

I did find it funny how Robert De Niro's character seemed to resemble a former Texas governor named George Bush. It was uncanny...and I'm sure totally planned.

I had to double-take to make sure that I saw Don Johnson. Former Mister Sonny or Nash has gotten WAY gray-haired and fat! He played a his part well though. It was funny to me how his character was killing Mexicans but to me he could have easily been mistaken as having Mexican descent.

Danny Trejo is one ugly son of a bitch and to see him kissing Jessica Alba made me upchuck a bit.

Speaking of Alba, she didn't look to "tidy" in this movie. I'm guessing it was part of her "hard working" ICE agent but they could have made her up a little. I mean Michelle Rodriguez looked hotter and she worked in a roach coach.

The blond wife of the senator's PR guy, Jeff Fahey, was ugly but attractive in a duality kind of way. I mean she looked older than she really is (maybe for her character) but the amount of boobage she showed made up for any faults she may have had.

Oh yeah and the girl on the left (or the to the right of Machete) in this NSFW photo, is NOT Lindsay Lohan. I have seen many photos of Lindsay's breasts and these are not hers. Plus, there was a shot of this girl's belly/body and it is not the same as earlier/later in the movie when you know it's Lindsay showing her nude-but-with-the-goods-covered body.

And about Lindsay's part in the movie and being on some promotional poster before the movie came out was overplayed or totally unnecessary. I think she was touted as "The Nun." She was a 'nun' for about 10-15 minutes at the end of the movie. She only shot her 'Daddy' (De Niro...and didn't even kill him). She had some machine gun that she fired into the air to scare whoever the random Mexicans and Rednecks from fighting each other.

Anyway, I thought the movie was worth watching. If you can borrow it from a friend for free, even better.

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