Thursday, October 29, 2009

I Love Natalie Portman!

Does a title like that need any follow up? I don't think it does but I will anyway.

Natalie Portman was on Top Chef: Las Vegas last night. If you need any help knowing who she is (you should one between the eyes or), you can click here.

My boss told me Monday about Natalie going to be on the show. My boss knows my yearn for "my Queen." I don't make an effort to watch Top Chef but the wife does TiVo it so I knew I would get to see her. I went home during lunch today to eat and remembered I needed to see the show. I didn't care about any parts other than those that Natalie was in until I started watching. I get trapped in the enjoyment of watching people squirm and make egotistical asses of themselves because they think they can cook. Well that might be but you can't all always cook the way Cooking God (Gay) Tom and Goddess Padma...oh yeah, and She-devil Gail (but I think Gail's lost some weight or got a stylist specialist because she's actually kind of hot in a Yes-Mistress-Gail kind of way).

Anyway, when they said they were going to some steakhouse restaurant I knew these cheftestants were in for a BIG surprise. Because I'm a stalker, er...good at celebrity triva, I knew that Natalie is a vegetarian. It was funny to see all these kitchen rats looking at all the many types of meats and devising a game plan with meat in mind. It had to be one of the best "tricks" I've seen by the show that I can recollect.

Tom, even though obviously gay, giddyshly introduces their surprise celebrity guest...(tada) Natalie. Man, when she walked in and the long flowing, bobbing, beautiful hair and that sparkle she,!!! Then when she told the "rats" that she was vegetarian (as if they didn't know because EVERYONE knows Queen Portman is a vegetarian), it was quite amusing to see their reactions. It's rare to see so many "Oh shit!" facial expressions in one room. I'm not going to recap the episode because that's not why I watched. If you want something of a recap, you can google it or I found one here while I was Googling it myself hoping to find some good still pictures of Natalie from the show because she just looked so darn good without even trying.

I was lost in she was sitting at the dinner table. The way she spoke, smiled, joked, laughed, sipped wine, ate food...ah man, I could go on and on. The moment I really, really know that Natalie and I were meant to be together was in her light yet eloquent banter regarding Padma's comment about a piece of garlic being like a "little prick on the tongue." I just gets more R-rated from there albeit briefly but it just let me know that Natalie is truly just like the rest of us in her perverted humor.

You can see a clip of the exchange (and ogle Natalie with me) here.

No comments: