Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's rich and self-employed,
And when I spend, won't be annoyed.
Pull out my chair and hold my hand.
Massage my feet and help me stand.
Oh send a king to make me queen.
A man who loves to cook and clean.
I pray this man will love no other.
And relish visits with my mother.
A MAN'S POEM:
I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with
big tits who owns a bar on a golf course,
and loves to send me hunting, fishing and drinking. This
doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.
The Fishing Trip
Four friends spend weeks planning the perfect backwoods camping and fishing trip.
Two days before the group is to leave, Frank's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going.
Frank's friends are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do.
Two days later, the three get to the camping site only to find Frank sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and fish cooking on the fire.
"Damn man! How long you been here, and how did you talk your wife into letting you go?"
"Well, I've been here since yesterday. Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind and put her hands over my eyes and said 'Guess who'?"
I pulled her hands off, and she was wearing a brand new see through nightie. She took my hand and took me to our bedroom. The room had two dozen candles and rose pedals all over. She had on the bed handcuffs and ropes!
She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed, and I did. And then she said, "Do whatever you want!"
So...here I am.
Live Long and Prosper!