Okay, so this is the "meaner" version of my comments about Six Flags Over Texas. It's not really mean. It's just...honest. So without further adieu.
Here are some randomly generated stats by yours truly based on my observations of the day. Out of all the people carrying around prizes such as over-sized stuff animals, basketballs, and any other stupid products that you could have purchased cheaper some where else:
Let's take for example one fellow from the 5% area. He was about 5-8, 210-225lbs, buzzed or bald head, pretty flabby, wearing an oh-so-attractive black sleeveless shirt. Anyhoo, I forget the name but there was this game which involved a basketball goal on a half court set up. There were three racks of four basketballs placed in specific sports around the arc of the half court. Picture something like a three-point arc from side to side but the top of the arc touches the top of the free throw circle. I'm not a basketball fanatic, anymore, so I'm not sure what the exact terminology is. Anyhow, the point is you pay $10 to (hopefully) shoot and make the basketballs in an allotted time...
Oh wait, it's like the three-point shooting before the NBA All-Star games but...not! Damn, lost train of thought. Okay, back on track.
...I think they gave like thirty seconds on the clock. So, this big, burly but not athletic man, after paying his $10, starting shooting the first four balls worth two points each from behind the arc at what would be the baseline(?). Two rim shots and two air balls. He trots to the top of the arc which are worth one point each. He misses the first, hits the second and backboard to rims the last two. Running to the third spot which is directly across from where the first spot is, he seems a little winded. He launches three air balls, the last hits the ground as the buzzer sounds.
A few people rotate through. All doing basically just as poorly as this man did. In fact, a female that was easily a quarter of his size made only one shot but air balled none! Two black guys followed her. One sadly didn't sink one ball. The other got four points which won him a medium prize. The medium prize was a Dallas Cowboy flag/banner time thing. It looked to be about the size of a regular size bath towel.
I asked the kids if they were ready to stop watching the sadness but they wanted to watch a little more. I turn my attention back to the court and who did I see but the burly man about to start another attempt at "stardom" after paying another $10. That's $20 that's he's spent now. He starts at the buzzer and crashes and burns. He didn't even make a basket this time. Bummer for him.
After him, I see a younger boy make his attempt and he fails as well. Not as miserably as the burly man but he still failed. He was one point/shot away from getting his own banner. Funny thing is that he was the son of the burly man which, since he just kicked his father's ass, gave him big bragging rights! Not to be outdone by his son, burly man takes a third attempt with the same results (losing) although he came within two points from getting his most awesome banner.
So, this man spent $40 ($30 for himself, $10 for his son) to come away with nothing! I mean he had a great time and his son obviously enjoyed taking it to his father but c'mon, that's $40 blown in two minutes!! Two minutes! If I spent $40 in two minutes, I'd better have gotten blown!
The dad voice in me sort of says, "I guess it's all about having fun and enjoyment with my kids and it is only $40 and you can't take the money with you when you die," but the cost-conscious dad in me says, "WTF? I can take them somewhere really cool and inexpensive where $40 would last an hour or two or more. I also won't feel so stupid for blowing that much cash on something so materialistic as trying to win a basketball (real or big bouncy one which was the "large" prize)." What's even worse is that you could buy a regulation basketball (which the ones at Six Flags are not) for less than $40 and take your kid to the courts at the park or local school and have him stomp your ass.
I must admit that I did, years and years ago when I was a young adult, play a basketball shooting game that was somewhat addicting. It's more of a "I'm gonna win" more than "This is way fun. Let's play some more." It was only $1 a shot and it was more difficult than this new game. For one, it was on a slanted part of the walkway by the Texas Tower and it was much farther a shot than the typical three-point shot. They already make the rims just barely bigger than the balls you are shooting so the shots have to be damn-near perfect. 5 shots and $5 later, I owned a basketball of the college my wife was going to school at the time and the one I attend now. Which is a feat in itself since they don't license their brand to just anyone. Truth be told, I was shocked to see it at Six Flags.
Anyway, that's my random observation and story.
Good Bye and Good Riddance!
Here are some randomly generated stats by yours truly based on my observations of the day. Out of all the people carrying around prizes such as over-sized stuff animals, basketballs, and any other stupid products that you could have purchased cheaper some where else:
- 80% are BLACK (how many of these people still have African genes, so why call them African-American?).
- 12% are MEXICAN (we're in Texas people, they are Mexicans unless they can prove they are Latino or Hispanic.)
- 8% are believed to have departed a double-wide (ya'll know, white trash? Anyone that is medically considered obese and comes to 6-Flags without a bra but wearing a tank top that doesn't cover what it should and needs to or tries to cover that love seat of an ass in shorts/pants that are tighter than Joan Rivers' face.)
Let's take for example one fellow from the 5% area. He was about 5-8, 210-225lbs, buzzed or bald head, pretty flabby, wearing an oh-so-attractive black sleeveless shirt. Anyhoo, I forget the name but there was this game which involved a basketball goal on a half court set up. There were three racks of four basketballs placed in specific sports around the arc of the half court. Picture something like a three-point arc from side to side but the top of the arc touches the top of the free throw circle. I'm not a basketball fanatic, anymore, so I'm not sure what the exact terminology is. Anyhow, the point is you pay $10 to (hopefully) shoot and make the basketballs in an allotted time...
Oh wait, it's like the three-point shooting before the NBA All-Star games but...not! Damn, lost train of thought. Okay, back on track.
...I think they gave like thirty seconds on the clock. So, this big, burly but not athletic man, after paying his $10, starting shooting the first four balls worth two points each from behind the arc at what would be the baseline(?). Two rim shots and two air balls. He trots to the top of the arc which are worth one point each. He misses the first, hits the second and backboard to rims the last two. Running to the third spot which is directly across from where the first spot is, he seems a little winded. He launches three air balls, the last hits the ground as the buzzer sounds.
A few people rotate through. All doing basically just as poorly as this man did. In fact, a female that was easily a quarter of his size made only one shot but air balled none! Two black guys followed her. One sadly didn't sink one ball. The other got four points which won him a medium prize. The medium prize was a Dallas Cowboy flag/banner time thing. It looked to be about the size of a regular size bath towel.
I asked the kids if they were ready to stop watching the sadness but they wanted to watch a little more. I turn my attention back to the court and who did I see but the burly man about to start another attempt at "stardom" after paying another $10. That's $20 that's he's spent now. He starts at the buzzer and crashes and burns. He didn't even make a basket this time. Bummer for him.
After him, I see a younger boy make his attempt and he fails as well. Not as miserably as the burly man but he still failed. He was one point/shot away from getting his own banner. Funny thing is that he was the son of the burly man which, since he just kicked his father's ass, gave him big bragging rights! Not to be outdone by his son, burly man takes a third attempt with the same results (losing) although he came within two points from getting his most awesome banner.
So, this man spent $40 ($30 for himself, $10 for his son) to come away with nothing! I mean he had a great time and his son obviously enjoyed taking it to his father but c'mon, that's $40 blown in two minutes!! Two minutes! If I spent $40 in two minutes, I'd better have gotten blown!
The dad voice in me sort of says, "I guess it's all about having fun and enjoyment with my kids and it is only $40 and you can't take the money with you when you die," but the cost-conscious dad in me says, "WTF? I can take them somewhere really cool and inexpensive where $40 would last an hour or two or more. I also won't feel so stupid for blowing that much cash on something so materialistic as trying to win a basketball (real or big bouncy one which was the "large" prize)." What's even worse is that you could buy a regulation basketball (which the ones at Six Flags are not) for less than $40 and take your kid to the courts at the park or local school and have him stomp your ass.
I must admit that I did, years and years ago when I was a young adult, play a basketball shooting game that was somewhat addicting. It's more of a "I'm gonna win" more than "This is way fun. Let's play some more." It was only $1 a shot and it was more difficult than this new game. For one, it was on a slanted part of the walkway by the Texas Tower and it was much farther a shot than the typical three-point shot. They already make the rims just barely bigger than the balls you are shooting so the shots have to be damn-near perfect. 5 shots and $5 later, I owned a basketball of the college my wife was going to school at the time and the one I attend now. Which is a feat in itself since they don't license their brand to just anyone. Truth be told, I was shocked to see it at Six Flags.
Anyway, that's my random observation and story.
Good Bye and Good Riddance!
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