Monday, May 17, 2010

Bitch Slap (2009) revisited

Bitch Slap (2009). First of all, I finally remember why I put this in my queue. One of the lead women actresses is named Erin Cummings. Google it. I did. That's how I remember how, where and why I chose this movie.

Erin Cummings played the wife of Spartacus in the series "Spartacus: Blood and Sand" on the Starz channel and she looks much hotter/better in Spartacus than this movie. I figured I did a search on the show, found out the actress and linked to her other movie roles. She flashed tits and ass in "Spartacus" I guess I figured that she'd do the same in Bitch Slap.

Wrong!

Anyway, the movie wasn't horrible. Maybe borderline awful but not horrible. Is there a slight difference? Maybe very slight.

Let's start with what's good about this movie. Um...there is serious amounts of cleavage. A few shots of panty and panty hose clad ass. One quick glimpse, a few frames, of a nameless hot bodied chick flashing her bare breasts.

After that very little bit of interest, the movie wasn't much else. It had poor acting, poor dialogue but it did have some Tarantino-like-wanna-be flashback scene cuts. Not really all that impressive but you can recognize that the director tried to put some kind of extra flair into a B- movie.

Kevin Sorbo and Lucy Lawless have cameo parts. America Olivo is the wifebeater-wearing hot chick who should have shown her T&A but didn't. Luckily, she flashed those silicone puppies in the 2009 version of Friday the 13th. Oh, Lucy Lawless flashes boobs in Spartacus. Um...I guess that's it. The other hot chick is played by a Julia Voth who apparently was the character model for some chick in one of the Resident Evil video games. Other than that I don't know who the hell she is and she hasn't been in many other movies, that I could find anyway.

So, if you didn't get it, the final verdict would be a two thumbs down! In the end, the cleavage shots are all just smoke and mirrors. Once those are cleared away (or even not) then it's really just a piece of shit movie unless you are in the mood for a little comedic wanna-be acting. I mean it's part of the way I think it was supposed to be portrayed but it was also the only way to make this movie not a complete joke if they made fun of it themselves while making it. Make sense?


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