Thursday, September 23, 2010

Ninjas vs. Zombies

Out of pure curiosity, I had to put Ninjas vs. Zombies in my Blockbuster queue a week or so ago. I finally got a chance to watch it this past weekend and I must say that I was sorely disappointed.

I didn't expect much but I expected more than I got. It was very campy but way too cheesy to be interesting. It starts off very slow and doesn't speed up much along the way. It'll probably become one of those "cult movies shot for $35,000 with their father's old VHS camcorder." I wouldn't give it that much clout but it will probably happen with the kids of today that like the repetitive songs like "Alejandro," "California Gurls," "Baby," and the like.

I think I lost you but the point is that the kids of today...and some adults...are mindless and think that these songs are "the bomb" which they are in my definition of "bomb" which is a dud. Don't get me wrong. These songs are definitely catchy but when you hear them every 20-30 minutes on the radio and they repeat the same 4-5 lines in the song for 3-5 minutes, the song gets a little annoying and old!

Damn! Off track again. What I mean is there are people that will probably make this a "hit" just because they are mindless like...well, zombies. Bam!

I read somewhere that this movie was Evil Dead-like. NOT...EVEN...CLOSE! Evil Dead should sue whoever made that lame ass comparison. Is that slander or libel? Libel is written, right?

Anyway, there was no creativity to this movie. There was nothing new to this movie. There was nothing good about the filming, lights, make up, costuming, or acting. There were decent parts but they were few and far between. There was occasional but very little quirky, good humor.

If you have a bad movie, one way to make it better or more appealing to men anyways is to add female nudity. This movie had one scene about 15 minutes from the end when briefly there was a busty naked chick. She was there and gone within about 4 seconds. Earlier in the movie, two girls were in a bedroom talking. One girls is getting dressed or undressed, I don't know which. She was decent looking with a nice body and all she showed were her black, lace bra and panties.

That's it!? Really?! I was robbed of all good horror and nudity! I was scammed.

There's a phrase in the book that is used multiple times by one of the black magic guys and it says, "ELSEWHERE!" which is where I wanted to be about 5-10 minutes into the movie!

I can't recommend this movie to ANYONE, sorry guy who made it. I'd much rather watch Clerks again and not get the reason for it's cult following. Just because I don't get it doesn't mean it wasn't a overall way better movie than this one.

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