Is it when your front pockets on your black pants flare when you are standing, exposing the white pocket insides that are typically only seen when you turn the pockets inside out?
Is it when another fat guy calls you fat boy?
The first one I think I'm getting close to but I think the dryer is slowly shrinking my clothes with each drying. Shut up! That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!
The second one happened to me today during my first roller hockey game. I was playing in my Over30A league - A is supposed to mean they are better and cleaner players but that is not the case. Anyway, I was standing near my goalie playing defense when a guy from the other team crosschecks me in the back. I turn around and tell him "dude, why you gotta play like that because you aren't going to score anyway?" For some reason the whistle to stop play is blown and this ass face comes up to me and puts his glove in my face. I rear back with my left arm and punch him in the chest knocking him to the ground. He gets up all pissy having a hissy fit and gesturing to me to "come on, lets fight." I was like "come on man, bring it on you dumb ass!" The refs step between us and give us both matching penalties. That was bullshit because he should have gotten double the infractions. Anyway, on the way to the penalty box, this piss ant is still jawing and starts name calling. He's calling me "fat boy, fat fuck, fat ass." I understand being pissed and frustrated but I'm wondering where this is coming from because aren't we "over 30" and he's just as 'fat' as I am. Dumb ass! We are sitting in our penalty boxes and he's still going on. He starts asking if my mother is fat, my father and blah, blah, blah. I was so shocked that all I could do is just laugh. I'd expect this from a child, an adolescent but a supposed working-class over 30 year old? I just laughed and I think it pissed him off more. I finally got a word in during his rant and asked him "how old are you dip shit? You are acting like a kid!" I wanted to sink to his level and call his mother names but I just couldn't bring myself out of the shock of such an ignorant fuck! I told him "dude, why are you so mad? Because this fat fuck shut your ass down!?" Oh man, you should have seen him get his little red-necked ass even more red. I was laughing so hard. He threatened to hurt me in the last minute of the game - "full contact" he said. I told him he should grow up but if he did indeed try something he didn't know who he was messing with. I told him I would find out where he lived and I would kill him and his family. That was the first time he shut the fuck up and said, "What did you say?" A question instead of a ranting statement? Amazing! I said, "Forrest, you heard me!" He now was like a babbling idiot, repeating "What did you say? What did you say?"
I just smiled and thought to myself..."I'm pudgy you dumb bastard, not fat! PUDGY!"
In the end, he didn't try anything in the last minute and when the game was done (my team won) all members of each team skated and tapped gloves saying "good game, man." I fully expected him to try something then but it didn't happened. He too tapped my glove and said "good game."
The sad thing is is that he had his children there. They came to the penalty box after he had time to calm down and asked him why he got a penalty. What was he going to say "because he's an ignorant ass that isn't setting a good example for his children?"
The moral of the story...if you say things in anger, don't say things you don't really mean. Apparently, he was just too involved in the game and was frustrated for his team losing. I, on the other hand, was calm, cool and collected. Although like I said, I really would have hunted him down if he had injured me in any way.
Eye for an eye. That's the way it should be!
Is it when another fat guy calls you fat boy?
The first one I think I'm getting close to but I think the dryer is slowly shrinking my clothes with each drying. Shut up! That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!
The second one happened to me today during my first roller hockey game. I was playing in my Over30A league - A is supposed to mean they are better and cleaner players but that is not the case. Anyway, I was standing near my goalie playing defense when a guy from the other team crosschecks me in the back. I turn around and tell him "dude, why you gotta play like that because you aren't going to score anyway?" For some reason the whistle to stop play is blown and this ass face comes up to me and puts his glove in my face. I rear back with my left arm and punch him in the chest knocking him to the ground. He gets up all pissy having a hissy fit and gesturing to me to "come on, lets fight." I was like "come on man, bring it on you dumb ass!" The refs step between us and give us both matching penalties. That was bullshit because he should have gotten double the infractions. Anyway, on the way to the penalty box, this piss ant is still jawing and starts name calling. He's calling me "fat boy, fat fuck, fat ass." I understand being pissed and frustrated but I'm wondering where this is coming from because aren't we "over 30" and he's just as 'fat' as I am. Dumb ass! We are sitting in our penalty boxes and he's still going on. He starts asking if my mother is fat, my father and blah, blah, blah. I was so shocked that all I could do is just laugh. I'd expect this from a child, an adolescent but a supposed working-class over 30 year old? I just laughed and I think it pissed him off more. I finally got a word in during his rant and asked him "how old are you dip shit? You are acting like a kid!" I wanted to sink to his level and call his mother names but I just couldn't bring myself out of the shock of such an ignorant fuck! I told him "dude, why are you so mad? Because this fat fuck shut your ass down!?" Oh man, you should have seen him get his little red-necked ass even more red. I was laughing so hard. He threatened to hurt me in the last minute of the game - "full contact" he said. I told him he should grow up but if he did indeed try something he didn't know who he was messing with. I told him I would find out where he lived and I would kill him and his family. That was the first time he shut the fuck up and said, "What did you say?" A question instead of a ranting statement? Amazing! I said, "Forrest, you heard me!" He now was like a babbling idiot, repeating "What did you say? What did you say?"
I just smiled and thought to myself..."I'm pudgy you dumb bastard, not fat! PUDGY!"
In the end, he didn't try anything in the last minute and when the game was done (my team won) all members of each team skated and tapped gloves saying "good game, man." I fully expected him to try something then but it didn't happened. He too tapped my glove and said "good game."
The sad thing is is that he had his children there. They came to the penalty box after he had time to calm down and asked him why he got a penalty. What was he going to say "because he's an ignorant ass that isn't setting a good example for his children?"
The moral of the story...if you say things in anger, don't say things you don't really mean. Apparently, he was just too involved in the game and was frustrated for his team losing. I, on the other hand, was calm, cool and collected. Although like I said, I really would have hunted him down if he had injured me in any way.
Eye for an eye. That's the way it should be!
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